现实女人与幻想男人
来源:联合早报 >> 生活 >> 新汇点 >> 四合院 作者:六六 2011年12月12日
(作者为作家、《蜗居》编剧,来自中国安徽,1999年来新)
巨富自与小女友恋爱起,进入打摆子期,时而激情昂扬地认为对方爱自己到癫狂,时而担心对方目的不纯。于是,我成了他咨询的热线电话。
他总问我:你会爱上一个比你大20多岁的男人吗?我沉吟片刻不作声。他说,你为什么不回答?我说,怕伤害你脆弱的小心肝儿。依我个人的经验,我今年已经三十有七,人老珠黄,身材走样,面目黯淡无光,可我每次面对与我同龄的男性,对方稍微有点秃头肚腩,我都暗想:他这样也好意思出来混?女人,无论多大年纪,本质上和男人无二,还是喜欢体格健壮匀称,谈吐儒雅风趣的男人。喜欢大自己20多的男人的女人,如无算计,也不是个普通审美之人。
他又陷忧郁。
我安慰他,你无需担心,男人要以被利用为荣,尤其是被自己爱的女人利用为荣。你要是喜欢,就尽管喜欢,不怕付出代价,不要患得患失,不要因为被利用而伤神。拿破仑曾经说过:“一个女人的出路只有在婚姻里寻到。”作为一个成功男士,你走到一定高度以后,一定要成为各色人等的跳板被各色人等利用,还不如选一个自己喜欢的人,给她一个好的平台。你就当做了慈善,改变一个小姑娘的一生轨迹。
邓文迪与其夫们的关系显然与爱情关系不大,男人是实现她价值的阶梯,但她与默多克这么多年的陪伴,结果是美好的,最近还刚赏了欺负她老公的人一耳刮。杰奎琳与奥纳西斯的婚姻显然也不是爱情,各取所需,无论是取性,还是取钱,还是取声望,都是一种搭配,就好像你巨无霸汉堡可配可乐也可配雪碧或者热饮。吃饭你不纠结,选妻纠结啥呢?
男人到了一定的财力和名望之后,没有诱惑是不可能的,有了诱惑不尝试是不人道的,尝完了要买单是痛苦的。而一生被感情困扰是成功男人的标志,一般失业下岗中年男性肯定没有你这样的难题。由此可见,不被困扰不成功。名利世界里,有钱有名通赢。毕加索一生七个情人老婆,还有暗的未记,基本都是后一个轧着前一个的血泪就登场了。毕加索到死都认为是他的艺术气质吸引了女人们。这是男人的一厢情愿。梵高没有才情吗?只不过死后才出的名,生前都被性憋成精神病了,临死都没一回正经冠以爱的头衔的性生活。
他问我:我想知道男人与女人的不同。如果一个20出头的男孩跟你说爱你,你什么反应?我答:我想把他掐死,让他离我远远的别来烦我。我是正常的女人,正常的女人第一反应是,只能我从男人身上套点啥,你还敢来套我?女人肯定不如男人有奉献精神。我希望把我的财产,每一分都留给我的孩子。
女性在每个阶段的使命都有变化,20多要找个合适的孩子爹,30有孩子之后的18年负责教养孩子,好不容易孩子成人了,又开始摩拳擦掌准备带孙辈。女人的轮轨是永远向前的,哪有空老跟情爱纠缠啊!
而男性,孩子在男性生活中几乎不占比例。所以男性在40多岁50多岁60多岁甚至七八九十多岁的时候,依旧对异性怀有美好。与你们这个年龄匹配,能陪你们耍的,只有20多的姑娘。
最现实的是女人,最幻想的是男人。
请继续你们的幻想,千万不要被女人的现实吓倒。历史也无数次证明幻想男人与现实女人是绝配。
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