台湾女人
来源:联合早报 >> 生活 >> 新汇点 >> 四合院 作者:六六 2011年10月24日
她婆婆到访,碗不收一只,每天把她当佣人使,她都不敢问丈夫婆婆哪天走。这要是在中国,估计早翻天了!新加坡估计也会发生口角龃龉……
与一位年纪与我相仿的台湾女人吃饭,惊叹于台湾真是正宗中华文化的传承地啊!不过很快也要变了。
她至今单身,而且单身得很美丽。在台湾,与她年纪相仿的女人,一半单身着,而结婚的那一半还有一半在闹离婚着,所以她表示毫无压力。我诧异地问她:“那台湾男人哪里找老婆呀?台湾不是要绝后了?”
她笑说:“越南新娘、泰国新娘,有胆量的就娶大陆新娘。台湾女人不嫁的。”
细问才知缘由。台湾生存压力很大,屋贵人工贵而传统习俗不改。女人要与男人一样打拼职场,回家还要负责打扫煮烧采买和照顾孩子,累到脱型。如婚后脱离职场做全职主妇,每天就是与家务小孩为伴,辜负了高等教育,心有不甘。嫁入豪门便罢,如果只是中产小康家庭,一生的轨迹就是在厨房与菜场之间晃荡,无人相帮。
她问我:“我有职业有收入,日子过得轻松自在,为什么要嫁到人家做保姆呢?我从小在家,也是爹妈娇生惯养的啊!台湾没有小时工这个职业的,叫保洁公司做家务,一个小时大约人民币40至80不等。这么贵哪个家庭负担得起?顶多在年关的时候请一次。请菲佣如果是算上吃住,一个人的收入就给她了。关键是家里没地方给她住呀!所以,台湾男人不需要老婆的,娶个菲佣最经济,还不用买包购物。”
她无不羡慕的口气跟我说:“大陆女人真幸福啊!你们有小时工,有保姆可以请,父母公婆还来帮忙。你知道吗,台湾婆婆都很吓人的,不但不帮忙,还要不时到家里来临检,看你有没有照顾好她儿子。而且大陆的福利太好了!你们生孩子有四个月产假哎!台湾只有45天。台湾连续多少年都生育率排名倒数,政府还鼓励我们生孩子。什么福利补贴都没有,就发几千人民币的样子,连补贴尿布都不够,我们怎么肯生呢?所以,我们台湾女人觉得如果有好归宿,嫁大陆男人真是不错。”
我哈哈大笑!看样子,无论是新加坡还是大陆女人,都是身在福中不知福了。我应该把她的这段话广而告之,感恩一下我们有嫁人资本的幸福。
我在新加坡时,认识另一对台湾夫妻,女方家是将军,男方家是富贾,女子美国藤校硕士毕业后嫁给门当户对的丈夫,丈夫在新加坡为普通白领,收入明显是不够台湾的生活水准的。结果,夫家出资在新加坡买了一幢连排别墅,母亲家出资给女儿请保姆。
小孩两岁那年,婆婆过来住一段,眉头紧锁,跟媳妇说,小孩都两岁了,你还请保姆吗?她马上就懂事了,看到你这样的妈妈好吃懒做,她以后会是什么样的女人呢?现在的媳妇公婆都不要伺候了,老公女儿都不肯伺候!”第二天,媳妇就赶紧把保姆辞退了,自己开始拖地洗衣服带小孩。
她跟我说到她婆婆的时候,一脸的恐惧加敬畏。这种表情,我印象里只有在古代小说孔雀东南飞里才会有。
她婆婆到访,碗不收一只,每天把她当佣人使,她都不敢问丈夫婆婆哪天走。这要是在中国,估计早翻天了!新加坡估计也会发生口角龃龉。
“妈妈叫我不要嫁人。她自己辛苦一辈子,她让我不要步她后尘。”台湾女人跟我说。
我想她是对的。我如果有女儿,也是断然不肯让她婚后受苦。家是两个人的,为什么让其中一人承担所有的繁琐?如果我在家里捧在手心含在嘴巴,如何舍得让她日日下厨无人相帮呢?
台湾提高生育率的唯一途径,不是给多少生育补贴,而是训导台湾男人打破传统,向上海男人学习,以服侍老婆为光荣,以围锅台转为骄傲,以带孩子为乐趣,那么,愿意结婚生子的人自然就多了。
(作者为作家、《蜗居》编剧,来自中国安徽,1999年来新)
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