《双面胶》:没有筋籽的辣椒
作者:落星山 来源:中华读书报 2005-12-01
《双面胶》这个小说,讲了一对平凡的夫妇,他们的日常生活因为男方父母的介入而崩裂,乃至家毁人亡。除了结局过于用力,
他是善良的,上过大学,可能体格十分壮健,也可能戴咖啡边眼镜;爱看点体育杂志,不看也没什么关系;并不爱做家务,但如果成家后妻子要求,那么做也无妨。女孩子喜欢他,多半是因为他的体贴,或者谦让,或者朴实,总之是让人放心。他对她也是真心地好,他对她的心是春天的笋尖,层层剥下去,无非只是一个明白的“好”字,这点他让她看得透,她看清楚以后,多半也就犹豫着嫁了。因为一个年轻女人通常是有点娇纵的,是睁着眼睛的小孩,总希望得到贵重的宠爱,就如这本书里的妻子丽娟,她不把平等给亚平,她的男人是要放到她的手里揉的,她不管他有没有自己的鼻子眉毛。
而中国男人历来是不大容易独立的,从小就被教育着听话,做好人,表面上叛逆,但心里还是温驯的,是没有筋籽的辣椒,通红翠绿的只是样子。一旦成年,这才发现好人是多么的难做,因为这世界满是狮子。而在母亲面前缴械,做温软的孝子,躲进习惯和道德里面享受温存的照料,的确无比熨贴——尽管这熨贴的代价是丧失了一些说话的权利。
这两个人组成的家庭,可以想见对外界的侵入是没有多少抵御能力的。表面看起来,是婆婆的介入使得小夫妻的生活变了味道,其实决定了这个局面的是亚平自己的心。作为一名结了婚的成年男子,他完全可以摆脱母亲的对己生活的干预,平衡好家人的关系。但是,他的心底需要一个有母亲的空间,这空间里有幼时就熟稔的家庭气味,相同的肠胃,亲切的呵斥,连灯光都是稳定而安全的。虽然为了这个空间,眼睁睁地看着大家一起沉下去。
这真是亚平们的痛苦,一个壮年男子,不吸烟,不喝二两小酒,没有多余的衣服。如此克己,只不过是想讨个孝顺母亲的老婆好好过日子。可她们都不可怜他,她们都逼着他要说法。如果在过去的年代,他还可以像任何一个聪明的孝子贤夫,作出些威风或放出可怜,总还有个把人可以委屈,但现在,这个时代,何况是人,即使一只草虫,都重视自身的感受,不愿意委屈了自己。
所以他做不来了,尽管他是个不折不扣的好人。刚看过《双面胶》时,我觉得亚平的不独立是何等可恨的事情,但现在又感到这个人物可怜,因为在他成长的时候,他所受的教导,与他后来所经历的全不是一回事。他并不晓得风气的转变是杀人不见血,并且总是从好人身上先碾过去的——从前他们要他做娱亲的孝子,他努力做个好儿子,等他将要成功,又说他应该独立。而这两个字对他而言,来得太晚了一些,也太沉重,足以把他压碎。
这真让人难受,到处是小飞虫般的命运,一辈子都看得见光,但今天的光源已经和昨天的不一样,飞向哪里都不对头——我这样想着,只觉得身上十分寒冷,拉开布帘子看看,只见外面多半个黄月亮,像个淡金的蜡烛托,在初冬的天气里,慢慢地走着。这样的夜里即使有人放声大哭,别人也是听不到的,更何况家家户户的白玻璃上,都贴着满窗人生的琐碎。
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