早恋的看法
我本人属于早恋且成功的典范,也算春江说的那样,遭遇家长虽然不怎么赞同,却也无法反对的那种。家长没鼓励,但也没过多干涉。因为我比较倔,属于那种拉着不走,撵着倒退的,我父母拿我没辙。
但这么多年过去,要我谈对早恋的看法,我要说——坚决反对。如果我有孩子,我会将此种感情直接掐在萌芽中。
早恋孩子多敏感。那些发育比较迟的,对感情不是特别有悟性的,通常在那阶段都还忙着跟其他女孩一起跳猴皮筋呢!敏感,对孩子来说不是一个好的特质。因为敏感者多猜疑,太容易读人脸色,而在那年纪上又容易想歪,猜度错误。
早恋孩子大多因为自己觉得没有得到足够的家庭温暖。至少我当时这么觉得的。我想这跟青春期有关,过了那岁月,我现在看我爹娘,爱我得不行,我妈说的每一句话都是金玉良言,问题是那时我跟我妈搞不来,她说话又太直率,不拐弯,不会思度小女孩的想法,不太顾我自尊心,伤害了我,于是很自然,稍微外头有人对我好点,我就想逃了。
早恋耽误时间。这是不可否认的。当然有春花之类的神童可能不觉得,但在我,耽误得不行,当然我可以解释为就算我不早恋,我心思也不在读书上。反正人家忙着搞数理化的时候,我写情书一夜一夜都能写十七八张。我还老偷偷摸摸背着我妈出去幽会,撒谎,找借口,还跟我朋友串供,养成一系列非常不好的习惯,有一段撒谎成习惯,每次一张口都特谨慎,老想想说什么话以前背诵一下撒谎表,造成我在家沉默寡言。主要是怕言多必失。
早恋要经过很多年龄承受不住的考验。比方说时间,距离还有思想交流。通常感情在三年之时都会有一个痒痒期,正常恋爱熬不到那时候就结婚了,三年孩子都有了,来不及痒痒,而恋爱则不同,很容易造成伤害,能坚持到底走向婚姻的不多。
早恋面对的最大问题就是早孕。恋爱不做爱,那不叫爱。做了不安全那叫瞎搞。我口比较紧,我爸妈不知道,若知道能杀了我劳工。女孩子一旦走上同居之路,后果不堪设想。成人了知道保护自己和对方,小孩子懂个P,搞不好就搞出人命。对自己对孩子都是不负责行为。自己还是小孩,哪里知道这厉害关系?
最后说说关于人生轨迹。人这一辈子,什么年龄就该干什么事情。读书的时候读书,恋爱的时候恋爱,结婚的时候结婚,有孩子的时候有孩子,这叫顺顺利利,美好人生就应该按照这种曲线前行,千万别搞的跟我现在一样,读书的时候恋爱,该生孩子的时候忙着读书。倒过来做,力不从心。
我自己早恋,结果好象还不坏,至少这个男人还是我的所爱,至少我们俩到现在都没后悔,至少我目前为止没发现某某比他更合适我叩我心弦。但我 如果有了孩子,我会把所有的故事都告诉TA,给TA我全部的爱,劝告TA千万不要早恋,既然命运是你我无法改变的,所以要相信,你的所爱即便现在不能表白,你还是会与TA团聚,SOMEDAY。
(Posted – 02/10/2004 于《草堂》)
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