潮人潮事弄潮儿
2009年01月04日
其实作家工作忙机器盲啥的，都不是我不会摆弄新玩意儿的借口。
俩字儿就能概括我的水平：女人。
你让我整一桌菜，扫一屋尘我都朗朗上手的，你就是不能塞给我高科技。
我口中的高科技包括一切有按键的东西：音响设备，电视电话，手机电脑，GPS和一切即将到来的能将我的智商无情划归为零的新产品。
我小时候经常嘲笑我娘的落伍，比方说我小时候对家里新弄来的录音机，三摆弄两摆弄，大字不识几个，但不用看说明书就能把磁带玩转，还能把磁带拆开把里面的黑磁条拆下来玩过了再装回去。其实我还曾经拆过录音机的，而且原封不动又装回去，我娘不知。她要知道，能把我屁股打烂，因为当时这是家里比缝纫机还重大的财产。
也就是说，我小时候其实挺时髦的，也看着聪慧。不晓得女人的智商为什么到18以后就过度给男人了。从那以后我就开始排斥时代进步科技发展。
因为我有男朋友了。那以后，所有的社会进步与我无关。说实话，我后来到了连遥控器都看不懂的程度，所以我家电视就是摆设，成年不开。
我第一次觉得自己挺伟大是因为老公出国了，我必须学会独自给他发EMAIL。98年的时候EMAIL还挺精贵的，当时有486电脑吗？我在他临走前留下的傻瓜说明书指导下，打开电脑，用DOS命令进入系统，然后摸索着成功给他发了一封电子邮件，其实当时成功不成功不知道，因为没有MSN，只能在他给我回信以后才明了。但后来出了个状况是，他只写到把EMAIL发出去就结束了，没告诉我怎么关电脑。我凭着对电视的理解，将所有电源插座给拔了，且这种不良关机习惯延续了不少时间。
由此可见，爱情是生产力，可以创造一切不可能的事情。既能让女人变傻，也能强迫女人变聪明。
我活在当下，不能拒绝一切鲜活的进步，所以我情愿不情愿都要与现代化并轨。
我娘可以足不出户，不知天下大事。我不行。我还得养活自己。
所以，我学会了使用MSN，我学会了往论坛发帖，我学会了利用这些最原始的技术为自己MAKE MONEY。我生存的智慧表现在，任何一样我新学会的东西，我都能把它衍生为挣钱工具。
有了钱以后，如何消费也是一大难题。对我这样的懒人而言，网上购物显然是一件大快我心的好事，我就喜欢这种贴心服务，手指动动，货就送到家里。其实从性价比上说，也是网购更节省，因为你现在出门一趟，交通费也超过快递，更别提走累了打的。
开通支付宝那个艰辛啊！一把鼻涕一把泪的伤心。银行和网络我都不晓得泡了多久，一个人想花点钱，怎么就这么难呢？要不是每天受网上便宜货的诱惑，我早就放弃了。我英语水平直到现在都没有比大学时候退步，很大的原因要感谢电脑里蹦出的英文指令，还有就是盗版英文碟片的指引。
第一票货到手的喜悦啊！又证明了女人为了省钱可以像老鼠般坚持不懈地钻墙打洞。
现在，我的电脑里有MSN,阿里旺旺，有QQ，有MSN，有SKPYE，这一系列是我与世界保持联系的工具。我还有FLASHGATE，有IPOD下载，这一切是我自娱的必备。我还会用PHOTOSHOP，把自己修得跟仙女似的贴论坛上臭美，我还学会了EXCEL管理家庭账目包括来往情书。我还学会了建子目录隐藏目录把艳照门给藏起来，另外给我的硬盘设立指令，没有密码允许，不得外人入侵，必要时自毁。
天哪！一个人要干点坏事儿，真的要把智商发挥到极限啊！智能犯罪多不容易啊！
我以前最讨厌读各种使用说明，但现在，我现在能把英文的操作指南一眼瞟过就知道该怎么弄。几百页的说明书，我能去伪存真，直接找到自己要用的部分。
其实，你哪怕给我一本什么尼加拉瓜或者阿巴多斯的说明书，我也能够对着图片琢磨琢磨彻底读懂那种语言。无他，唯需要啊！
今天，我又在发挥自己的潜能。
前两天人家送我一个蓝牙耳机，取代了我的老式耳机，我捣鼓了两分钟就把它给联通了。联通以后就触类旁通地发现原来我电脑上也有这功能，以前有个键一直不知道是啥用处，又捣鼓着把电脑和手机给联上了，无师自通聪明绝顶的我，终于把我手机里拍了一年多舍不得删除的照片顺利移出。
我终于不再害怕自己有一天被时代所抛弃，小家伙们会的东西我都会。
只要这世界对我而言，还有爱情，还有金钱，还有AV女优。
我会永远屹立在时代前列，即使没牙满脸皱纹，我也能够躲在电脑后面偷乐着假装自己是七仙女儿。
科技是很容易玩转的事情，关键是有需要，有热情。
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