病中的天使
2008年01月05日
2号到北京录节目，三号上午被出版社安排接受媒体采访，下午和导演编剧约好聊剧本。
三号凌晨开始腹痛。根据经验，知道是旧疾发作，随身带的药吃下静等平息，不成想到了7点左右，已经汗如豆油，疼得按捺不住。赶紧催老公起身，搀扶着我走进最近的医院。挂完急诊，冲进内科对医生说：“赶紧给我打止疼针！”医生抬眼看我说，吗啡杜冷丁是限制药品，我开不出来。话间，我已经倒在检查台上翻滚，其状惨不忍睹，给以前为我开药的医生求救，长途询问他打什么针止痛，话间无意中说：“一定要在九点半前止住，我有记者招待会。”
要不说北京人特有政治观念，一听记者招待会，立刻严肃起来，以为是关国体。附近党政机关众多，不晓得我是哪个部门的重要官员，她二话不说就把主任急召过来。主任看我的情形说，这得上吗啡，不然肯定顶不住。然后安慰我说，放心，一针下去，你很快就能工作了。
同志们啊！共产党的干部啊！原来都是如此坚强！重病不下火线。俺在北京的氛围里，在集结号的感召下，也认为，其实就是缺胳膊断腿儿，只要嗓子还在，纱布裹裹我就能出镜了。
其实很快的功夫，吗啡就被戳进我的屁股。那厢主任还跟我老公在办系列领药手续，这边护士已经把自己珍藏的药品先拿出来顶上。针戳进我肉里，我都不知道疼，还说，这吗啡怎么这么温柔。等过一阵子再戳阿托品的时候，我大叫说，这阿托品怎么这么疼啊！医生笑说，吗啡起作用了，把她的疼给压下去了。
15分钟后，我跟老公说，好啦！我要走啦！一坐起来，啪嗒倒地。亏得老公眼明手快一把扶住，但也架不住我吨位大，还是踉跄不已。我清醒前的最后一句话是：“通知长江文艺，我去不了了。”然后瘫软在地。
飘飘忽忽间，看见几个白衣天使扇着翅膀把我搀到床上，眼前鲜花绽放，美丽得像奥地利的某个小镇，那种绚烂与宁静，大约只有仙境才有。我笑眯眯地对老公说：“这是什么地方啊！太美了！”老公莫名其妙地看我，说：“你说什么？”声音远近不定，脑袋大小不一。那一刻的感觉，好像空间是一个平面，近处的大，远处的小。
而后，烤鸭啊，羊肉火锅啊，牛尾汤啊纷纷向我飞来，我像太空飞行员一样，失重着要去捕捉，真好！什么是幸福？幸福就是要什么有什么，想什么是什么。
老公问医生：“这正常吗？她摇来晃去的。”医生说：“正常，吗啡打完了人是有点晕。我看她体重大，在正常量上又给她加了一份，怕压不住。”
吊水，护士说，握紧拳头。我使劲握，护士还是说，握呀你！用力。我觉得我把吃奶的劲都用上了，护士都感觉不出。
上厕所，且不说如何丢人地被老公用轮椅推进男厕所，半抱着放在厕所上，单嘘嘘就等了二十分钟。老公问：“你到底有没有啊？你这呆着，人家都不敢进来尿。”我说：“我急得都快憋不住了。”“那你怎么不尿？”“不知道哪块肌肉是控制嘘嘘的。使劲想呢！”这真是很奇特啊！以前嘘嘘嗯嗯，心跳呼吸，从没需要用脑子想，它自己就工作了，今天却要思考一下，它究竟是怎么工作的。
整整晕了一天，直到晚上才恢复正常。中间脑子很清醒，身体却不听话，总是犯困却总是睡不着。到了深夜了，人出奇地精神，老公累得不行了，我还非要跟他讲我今天恍惚中看见的仙女和花还有烤鸭。
老公哀叹说，你就这点出息，难得HIGH一把，好歹也飞点粉钻什么的，让你快乐的，原来也就几只烤鸭一盆羊肉汤了，老婆真是好养活。
我得意地笑了说，你知道么，王朔说，他幻觉的时候，出现的幻想是眼前一片光明，满大街裸体美女。
卖火柴的小女孩，点燃火柴看见奶奶。
其实，所谓的幸福，所谓的幻觉，就是你心里最喜欢的东西。平日里，谁都假充大尾巴驴，一问你喜欢什么，你肯定不好意思说喜欢烤鸭，怎么也得标榜自己喜欢读书，喜欢音乐，喜欢艺术啥的，一到幻觉时刻就露底了，原来我内心里，最喜欢的竟是肉啊！
有趣。
老公说，天哪，这不会让人上瘾吧？！那么容易就得到你要的幸福了！
我说，才不会。要是幻想自己坐在布莱德彼特的怀中，也许我就上瘾了。只不过是烤鸭嘛，随时可以吃到，又不是水中花镜中月，很容易实现的。
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