病中的天使
2008年01月05日
2号到北京录节目,三号上午被出版社安排接受媒体采访,下午和导演编剧约好聊剧本。
三号凌晨开始腹痛。根据经验,知道是旧疾发作,随身带的药吃下静等平息,不成想到了7点左右,已经汗如豆油,疼得按捺不住。赶紧催老公起身,搀扶着我走进最近的医院。挂完急诊,冲进内科对医生说:“赶紧给我打止疼针!”医生抬眼看我说,吗啡杜冷丁是限制药品,我开不出来。话间,我已经倒在检查台上翻滚,其状惨不忍睹,给以前为我开药的医生求救,长途询问他打什么针止痛,话间无意中说:“一定要在九点半前止住,我有记者招待会。”
要不说北京人特有政治观念,一听记者招待会,立刻严肃起来,以为是关国体。附近党政机关众多,不晓得我是哪个部门的重要官员,她二话不说就把主任急召过来。主任看我的情形说,这得上吗啡,不然肯定顶不住。然后安慰我说,放心,一针下去,你很快就能工作了。
同志们啊!共产党的干部啊!原来都是如此坚强!重病不下火线。俺在北京的氛围里,在集结号的感召下,也认为,其实就是缺胳膊断腿儿,只要嗓子还在,纱布裹裹我就能出镜了。
其实很快的功夫,吗啡就被戳进我的屁股。那厢主任还跟我老公在办系列领药手续,这边护士已经把自己珍藏的药品先拿出来顶上。针戳进我肉里,我都不知道疼,还说,这吗啡怎么这么温柔。等过一阵子再戳阿托品的时候,我大叫说,这阿托品怎么这么疼啊!医生笑说,吗啡起作用了,把她的疼给压下去了。
15分钟后,我跟老公说,好啦!我要走啦!一坐起来,啪嗒倒地。亏得老公眼明手快一把扶住,但也架不住我吨位大,还是踉跄不已。我清醒前的最后一句话是:“通知长江文艺,我去不了了。”然后瘫软在地。
飘飘忽忽间,看见几个白衣天使扇着翅膀把我搀到床上,眼前鲜花绽放,美丽得像奥地利的某个小镇,那种绚烂与宁静,大约只有仙境才有。我笑眯眯地对老公说:“这是什么地方啊!太美了!”老公莫名其妙地看我,说:“你说什么?”声音远近不定,脑袋大小不一。那一刻的感觉,好像空间是一个平面,近处的大,远处的小。
而后,烤鸭啊,羊肉火锅啊,牛尾汤啊纷纷向我飞来,我像太空飞行员一样,失重着要去捕捉,真好!什么是幸福?幸福就是要什么有什么,想什么是什么。
老公问医生:“这正常吗?她摇来晃去的。”医生说:“正常,吗啡打完了人是有点晕。我看她体重大,在正常量上又给她加了一份,怕压不住。”
吊水,护士说,握紧拳头。我使劲握,护士还是说,握呀你!用力。我觉得我把吃奶的劲都用上了,护士都感觉不出。
上厕所,且不说如何丢人地被老公用轮椅推进男厕所,半抱着放在厕所上,单嘘嘘就等了二十分钟。老公问:“你到底有没有啊?你这呆着,人家都不敢进来尿。”我说:“我急得都快憋不住了。”“那你怎么不尿?”“不知道哪块肌肉是控制嘘嘘的。使劲想呢!”这真是很奇特啊!以前嘘嘘嗯嗯,心跳呼吸,从没需要用脑子想,它自己就工作了,今天却要思考一下,它究竟是怎么工作的。
整整晕了一天,直到晚上才恢复正常。中间脑子很清醒,身体却不听话,总是犯困却总是睡不着。到了深夜了,人出奇地精神,老公累得不行了,我还非要跟他讲我今天恍惚中看见的仙女和花还有烤鸭。
老公哀叹说,你就这点出息,难得HIGH一把,好歹也飞点粉钻什么的,让你快乐的,原来也就几只烤鸭一盆羊肉汤了,老婆真是好养活。
我得意地笑了说,你知道么,王朔说,他幻觉的时候,出现的幻想是眼前一片光明,满大街裸体美女。
卖火柴的小女孩,点燃火柴看见奶奶。
其实,所谓的幸福,所谓的幻觉,就是你心里最喜欢的东西。平日里,谁都假充大尾巴驴,一问你喜欢什么,你肯定不好意思说喜欢烤鸭,怎么也得标榜自己喜欢读书,喜欢音乐,喜欢艺术啥的,一到幻觉时刻就露底了,原来我内心里,最喜欢的竟是肉啊!
有趣。
老公说,天哪,这不会让人上瘾吧?!那么容易就得到你要的幸福了!
我说,才不会。要是幻想自己坐在布莱德彼特的怀中,也许我就上瘾了。只不过是烤鸭嘛,随时可以吃到,又不是水中花镜中月,很容易实现的。
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