在中国选择做家庭妇女是不合适的决定
六六的BLOG 2006-04-10 01:46:39
我现在怀疑,在中国做全职母亲是否是明智的选择。
1。做全职妈妈本身不会与社会脱节,因为全职妈妈就是一项事业。能把家庭和孩子都团好的女人,原本就是创造价值,而且相当不容易。不是对家庭充满理想和爱的,很难做到。可是,在中国这项工作没有得到认同。在国外,HOUSEWIFE是工作状况的一个官方选择,你填表格什么的就印在上面,没人会大惊小怪或歧视。在中国不行。你一说你没工作,就好象低人三等似的。没有正确认识家庭妇女的社会价值。
2。国外有家庭妇女的社团。她们在家务之余也参与社会活动,互相帮忙接送孩子或组织妈妈俱乐部,做社区服务,没有孤单被人忽略的感觉。在中国,因为全职母亲少,类似活动也少,整天与孩子为伍,想腾个上厕所的空都难,生活的全部内容就是家庭和孩子,慢慢的确会与社会拉开差距。
3。法律保障不足。在国外,如果家庭妇女与丈夫离婚,是丈夫的过失,可得到可观的经济分割,未来的生活也有强制性保障。丈夫工资到点就被强行划进母亲的户口以作为生活和抚养费用,因此没后顾之忧,男人离婚前出于经济因素也会三思而行,最主要是全职妇女本人有了保障,不会因此而害怕全职。中国不行。你说自己是家庭妇女,哪怕就是丈夫出轨要求离婚,估计也赔不了你几个。更主要的是没给全职妈妈生活费一说,顶多也就抚养孩子。妈妈没工作,搞不好连孩子的抚养权都争取不到。原本是因为爱孩子而不工作,后来变成一个弱点,成没经济收入了。而且父亲给孩子的抚养费也是全凭良心,给你就拿着,不给你,哪怕法院去执行,也不能每个月都替你去要吧?实现的过程很艰难。
4。功利的职场。这个在世界各地都有,得凭良心说话。资本家的目的就是实现赢利最大化而不是做慈善。你在社会竞争中只有是强者才能有被剥削的资格。否则,你想申请被人剥削估计人家还不要。全职母亲就面临这个问题。尤其是从事现代行业的全职母亲。IT有时限。你三年前是职场精英,官拜副总裁,三年后再出山,还得跟小家伙们一起拼。工作具有时效性和持续累积性。一断开就得重来。而且重来就处于劣势。你说家里有个三岁的孩子,与那些尚未婚配的大学生比就处于不利。尽管每个人都会结婚生孩子,但人家好歹能被榨几年。到时候人生孩子了,公司可以再想法子请新人。
5。道德处于薄弱期,缺乏建设。中国原本是礼仪之邦,不过近几年处于动荡变革的时候,经济大潮一冲击,很多时候本性都迷失了。道德底限被金钱追求冲击得不断降低。你对一个男人究竟残存多少良知是估量不出的。经常发生昨天还是好好先生,今天就成恶霸地主的状况。其变化之大,所受诱惑之多,抵御能力之差最好还是不要以过往记录衡量。而且,你相信枕边人,却不能信任周边。大环境不好你不能单一建设小环境。你男人不错,是优点也是缺点,你觉得不错人家也觉得不错,架不住今天这个来抢明天那个来夺。以前偷抢那是不入流的事情,总要搭块遮羞布,现在改豪夺了,直接上门跟你摊牌,请你主动退位,你不退还成了阻碍历史进步了。
根据以上几点,我还是建议女性朋友们加强自身建设,哪怕你再爱家再爱孩子,至少为了不可预测的将来,得把命运抓在自己手里。
现在的状况就是这样,组织没有了,社会靠不住了,法律没保障了,人心涣散了,丈夫也不好带了,还是依靠自己吧!
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