胖妈妈的好处
稻草灰多，结巴话多，带肚的婆娘尿多。
怀孕时至六月半，感同身受劳苦大众的金玉良言。
今天从幼儿园下课，赶着回家。
最近儿子大了，肚子大了，毛病也多了，最明显的一毛病就是膀胱压迫。出门没两三分钟，就有尿意，若儿子配合，在肚子里转一转，便好些，否则一刻也等不得的。
真去了厕所，坐在位子上须耐心等待，暗力频施，凝神屏气，注意力高度集中，将所有的内力聚敛在膀胱上才会有涓涓细流而出。最高记录是夜起8次，以前有人ID名字叫一夜七次郎，自诩如何厉害，我现在嘲讽自己为一夜八次娘，定要超过前辈，以证明巾帼不让须眉。
上次去看医生，向医生诉苦说自己的生存现状之艰难，达到足不敢出户的地步。医生怀疑是感染，化验后说无恙，只是孩子淘罢了。然后给了个很说不出口的建议：让陈妈妈以后出门戴上成人尿不湿。顿觉脸丢大了，我娘说我自出生7个月起，非把尿不出，在如厕方面有超人的洁癖，为找一可心的厕所，隐忍之术堪比骆驼，如今就为腹中胎儿而颜面扫地，在新加坡35度的大热天里出门穿着厚尿片，还去幼儿园跟孩子们一起玩耍，万一被顽童看见，不知如何耻笑我，孩子们都脱离尿片生涯了，怎么老师反而没训练好呢？
于是大部分时间凭毅力隐忍，并且出门前做好准备。
今天出教室门以前是上过厕所的，盘算着一路45分钟回家，到家正赶上另一拨厕所，绝无大碍。
今天就忖那么一点点，前车轧着后车的轮胎线。在转换站上，眼睁睁看着要转的车绝尘而去，不给一点情面。坐在站台等候的时候，由于心慌，就开始露怯，尿意一拨一拨如潮水袭来，脑海里不断出现洪水爆发，闸门冲泄，大雨倾盆的画面，更加刺激小腹。
等待的过程实在漫长，因为不是上下班高峰时段，等了20多分钟车才来，远远超过我的计划。所以一到达目的地，下了车，甩开脚丫往家跑。
人浮气就躁，气躁则心不平，心不平则步乱。
下台阶的时候，一没留神摔了个屁股墩儿，鞋子飞出去丈八，胳膊肘撑在地上，皮蹭破好一大块儿，脚也崴了，腿也瘸了。顿时脑袋一片空白，坐在地上不敢动弹，生怕出什么意外。
爹娘每天电话里都嘱咐，千万别栽跟头啊！大忌！
可今天终于破了不栽跟头的神话。
坐了一会儿，除了脚疼，肚子倒是无恙，宝宝连惊慌地动都不动上一动。拍拍肚皮问道：“我儿可安好？”稳如泰山。
于是放心地站起，拍拍尘土，寻回鞋子，走人儿。
胖妈妈有胖妈妈的好处，油厚肉板，栽一栽不显。
不过，下次还是要小心啊！
“陈偶得日记—胖妈妈的好处”上的256条回复
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