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爱情的100种死法

 

哼！我失恋了！哼！被人踹了！哼！一老头揣我！哼被气坏了！

我决定吓唬那老头。我决定我过不好也得叫他难过难过。我为我这段还没绽放小花骨朵儿的短命感情设计点惊险故事。我设计了100种自杀方法。http://66.bachinese.com

首先我要跟东东学习吞块BUTTER把自己噎死！后来发现黄油味道不错，吃完了还有点饿，又吞点面包下去抹一抹。（所以我的名字叫抹抹）

其次我要跟李莫愁唱反调，含个DD把自己闷死。后来发现这个死法不科学，DD如果一直这样大着或许可能，可不久它就睡觉了。

我决定吃老鼠药象MIMIGARDEN那样痛死，后来觉得这样很残忍，老鼠也是一条命啊，应该安乐死。

我想，真死很不划算，不就一破老头嘛！吓唬他是最主要的，我就装死吧！我决定不开MSN，不上所有论坛，叫他找不到我踪迹，然后两个月以后突然登陆，叫他惊喜，狂喊：“你没事吧？”然后我冒充是检查官跟他讲：“该女子一个月前自杀，我们正在调查死因，请你说明你与她的关系，并留下电话备查。”

或者建立一个网站，在网络上以我家属的名义发布我的死亡信息，我搞点黑白照片，偷点人家的灵堂布置，挂上我的头像，叫他以为我死了，每天晚上不能睡眠。后来想想不行，万一传到我父母耳朵里，老头万一不难过，我娘难过得一根绳子挂房顶了。不妥不妥。

既然这样不想死，就不要死嘛！

但我得表示我对爱情的忠烈，因为世界上所有动人的感情之所以动人，都是因为女主角死了，男主角在屏幕上一个人走来走去象大傻，骗观众眼泪。http://66.bachinese.com

好吧！我决定——为了纪念这段爱情，我要老死。

等我7老8十了，满头白发了，我浑身插满管子，颤颤威威举着我长满皱皮的手，满是老人斑，然后告诉早已经入土的那个臭老头儿——我是被你活活气死的，居然折磨了我50多年！

什么样的报复最深刻？恩，就这样吧，恨一辈子，老死。

（03/13/03 1:50PM 于无忧城之无忧空间）

“爱情的100种死法”上的1,182条回复

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