今生有缘
我不是真的想死。可我也弄不清楚为什么要活着。
有时候我很困惑,不知道自己明天会怎样。我反复问自己,你爱我吗?我喜欢你一把揪住我的前襟,愤愤地将我推到墙角,告诉我:“你再出门我打断你的腿!”我于是嘴角挂着微笑,我知道,你爱我。 http://66.bachinese.com
我并不是真的爱他,我只是想惹你发火。我讨厌你吞云吐雾,摇着挂杯的酒,低低与别的家伙调笑。你用15年前的那副笑容,晃晃握紧的拳头说:“猜,正面还是反面?正面是带你出去过夜,反面是就地解决。”我开始反胃,胃酸一股股涌上心头涌到口中,让我忍不住咳嗽,忍不住流泪,忍不住趴在厕所的一隅呕吐。医生说:“你得了胃酸反刍。”我想,这不是肉体的疾病,这应该叫做神经病。
我走过去,揽着你的腰,将头贴在你的后背,吻着,说,回家。 http://66.bachinese.com
你笑着一把把我揪出来,象展示一只风干的鸡一样指着我的脸说:“认识他吧?他是我老婆。要他唱一个吗?粉动听的!”“哇!哥哥!”旁人大叫,我于是羞愧难当,我是你的爱人,不是你的展示品。我扭头就走,到门口大吼:“别回来了!永远!”
我在北京泡吧,我想我再不想回香港了,那个恶心的地方。我的胃又开始反刍,我吐了满地。“你没事吧?”一张大男孩的脸,还有不断拍我背的手。我搂着他的腰,说:“送我回家。” http://66.bachinese.com
我跟他讲你我的故事,我说,我会做饭,因为他爱吃家餐。他说,不信,你这样的还要自己煮?我很兴奋,跳起来说,煮给你看!我扎上为你养的长发,开始在家里叮叮当当,“你喜欢吃咸,还是吃淡?”他说,随便。那种满不在乎,和你当年一样。
我们躺在床上抽烟。我摸着他光滑的脊梁,恳求他:“对我好一点。”他说,会的。他抚摩我的时候我很怀念你带着淡淡烟味的手指。我无不遗憾地说:“为什么?你不抽烟?”
我不想和你分开。我企求你太多遍,让我觉得心灰意懒,我有钱,却没有了尊严。如果爱了这么多年还要费心看守,我想不如离开算了。要怎样,你才愿意和我相守一万年? http://66.bachinese.com
我站在23楼的窗口。这间房子很特别。当年你就在这里握着我的手说,下辈子我们都会在一起。
下辈子,下辈子。。。。。。。这辈子你都已经离开,我怎么办?
一种奇怪的感觉——如果我从这里跳 下去,是不是下辈子就快快到来?然后你就会坐在我的身边,象15年前那样笑着对我说:“你相信吗?我们此生有缘。”
我跳了啊!我吓唬你的。我命很大。我有九条命,我希望等我睁开眼的时候,你就象15年前一样坐在我的身边。
风从我的耳边略过,我的身体象飞鱼,优雅地在空中划出一条弧线。回眸一笑,仿佛看见你站在窗边。 http://66.bachinese.com
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