NATASHA是一个一年级的印度小姑娘,跟我学汉语已经有两年多了,每个周日上午上一次课。
四周前,上完课后,她迫不及待地拿出一个花花绿绿的小本子,要我买她的FUN TICKETS,打开一看,里面印着两块,一块的字样。开始以为是学校要她们筹集募捐,就掏出一块给她,结果被她拒绝了,很认真地告诉我说得给她10块,不单卖的。
原来她所在的女子小学每周六或节假日就举办家庭娱乐活动,里面有学生设计的各种游戏,还有家长义务做的点心,但所有参加活动的人,得用这种代用券去买娱乐项目或食品,筹集到的钱用于建设学校的新图书城。
我再从包里掏出1块来给她说,我就带这么多了,卖我两块不行吗?小丫头很认真拒绝,还提建议给我,说没关系,下次我妈妈付学费给你的时候我从里面扣出来。
我哈哈大笑,说姑娘,来,老师给你上堂生意课,这个是在语言课以外的TIP,抵扣我那8块好了。你若想卖东西,得先吹自己产品的好处,不能一个劲儿要求人家买甚至强买强卖,首先你得说清楚这钱有什么用处,其次不能强行要求扣我的工钱,这样会吓跑买家的,而且有的人穷,有的人富,不是你见到的每个人都可以或愿意掏10块买你的FUN TICKETS,比方说66老师,我就没有空去你们学校参加活动,我买了你这券没用。你要多变几种方法推销。比方说66虽然不去你学校,但你可以要求我为学校图书馆捐款,这两块就无偿贡献给你。有了这两块钱,你就为一张10块的券弄来了折扣,如果你将10块的券用8块卖出,就会非常好卖。NATASHA 毕竟才一年级,不太理解我的话,死活坚持说10块的券不能8块卖出,而我捐献的2块应该属于她自己。
就在这当儿,她哥哥JOSHUA跑进来,毕竟是5年级的孩子,一听就明白了,马上就掏出8块买了NATASHA的券。NATASHA虽然没闹明白这其中的道理,但结果是非常清晰的,想来她跟哥哥推销已久哥哥都不肯,突然就肯了,说明老师的办法可行,于是依葫芦画瓢地开始了她新一轮的募捐活动。
第二周再上我课,NATASHA还是举着那券儿,不过条件极其诱人。她笑着说:“老师,我已经募捐到六块了,你愿意花4块买我的券吗?”这券对我还是没用,我得想办法脱身。我又开导小丫头:“现在虽然很优惠,但你这券有贬值的危险,有时候你4块甚至1块就卖10块的券,以前花10块的人肯定心里不高兴,你就再做不成回头生意了,你要把这六块分到三张券上用,还找以前你曾经卖过的顾客,跟他们说,现在给老顾客8折优惠,这样你就可以一下再卖出去三张。”小丫头已经被我这复杂的数学弄晕了,特地叫我写下来销售的方法,回去背诵。
下课的时候,我看见NATASHA的妈妈,笑着跟她说:“我在教你女儿语言以外的东西,所以拖堂了——我告诉她怎么卖她的FUN TICKETS.”SHANTIE 一拍脑袋,一脸的尴尬与痛苦说:“GOSH!她现在都上瘾了!见谁就缠谁买她的票。刚开始的时候,她一回家就哭闹着要我买,我给她闹的没办法,就给了她100块买了一整本。她把钱交给学校老师的时候,老师特高兴,全班表扬她,说这是本班最先卖掉的同学,还给了她一朵小红花,外加另一本!我现在成替学校打工的了,挣点就换成小红花。我现在坚决不肯买了,不然学校图书城落成之日,就是我家卖别墅之时啊!不过我现在更尴尬,家里来给人就被她抓着推销,亲戚朋友不好意思,就买她的,外婆外公,爷爷奶奶,所有叔叔阿姨的生意她都做好几遍了!”我大笑不止,想着大家无可奈何的样子。大约能逃过这丫头魔掌的只有我一个了?
但是,上周我也给她绕进去了。小丫头聪明得很,一点拨就上路。上周上课以前,她拿出一张纸糊的精美轮盘,上面有着小指针,轮盘上划出大大小小的区域。小丫头央着我跟她赌一把。NATASHA指着大片的天蓝区域说:“老师,如果你转到这里,你就买一张我的券,如果你转到粉红色的区域,你就花8块买我的券,如果你转到绿色区域,我就送你一张,请你到我的学校免费去玩。”想66老师何等聪明,怎么能上这小鸟儿的当,当场拒绝。小丫头不屈不挠,硬示范给我看,说,很容易的,你看,然后随手一转就转到紫色的两块就买一张券的格子上。这一把勾起了六六老师的赌瘾,66很谨慎又很有兴致地问:“我试一把可以不可以?就是玩玩,不买的那种。”小丫头甚是大方,说,没问题!66随手一转,非常不幸,就是那大片的蓝色。小丫头特同情我,说,这个不算,当你练练,你再试。66在小丫头多次提点与手把手地指导之下,共投中蓝色9次,红色4次,粉色三次,紫色1次,绿色一次都没有,最后实在不好意思了,掏出10块来主动买了一张券。小丫头还安慰我说:“老师,你的力气没掌握好,下周再试,你一定可以中绿色的!”然后喜孜孜将66老师的血汗收进她口袋里。
哼!还下次!当我傻子?下次绝对不上她当了,见她不说废话就上课,下了课就轰她走。
今天早上又上她课。按照计划见面就给她考试,非把她先烤糊了再说。哪里晓得,她一放下卷子 ,就掏出五彩斑斓的小纸片,冲我狡黠一笑说:“我们来LUCKY DRAW!”我不理她,说不行,66老师今天有事情,不能陪你玩儿。小丫头说,不是啊!如果你抓到尾数是1的券,你就花10块买我的,如果是2的就9块,。。。。。。。如果是0的就送给你,试一下嘛!试一下嘛!看你今天是不是LUCKY。”我现在真佩服这丫头千奇百怪的生意经了,青出于蓝胜于蓝啊!就冲她的脑筋,我也要抓一次。我想自己不会那么倒霉吧?抓一的概率只有1/10嘛!如果中1,那我也真算是背到家了。若真弄张白送的,也满好玩的啊!六六毫不犹豫地就从她手里大把的纸里抽了一张,一看答案顿时傻眼——还真忖!就是1!我说嘛!我这辈子最不能做的两件事情就是吃夜宵和买奖券。人说:“马无夜草不肥,人无外财不富。”我是一吃夜宵就长肉,一想发财就泡空。没折,再掏10块给她。NND,我成了给她学校打工的了。
付完钱后不甘心,再说:“我再试一次,玩玩的,看看手气好不好,行吗?”小姑娘又爽快答应了。再抽,又是个1。顿生疑窦,一把抓住她质问:“你这里除了1,有别的数字吗?”NATASHA倒也老实,说,100张卡片,91个1,剩下9个是2到0。
我哭啊!我活了一大把岁数,竟然叫个7 岁小丫头给骗了。我得把我钞票拿回来:“不行,你耍赖!你没告诉我说不是平均的,我以为是每个数字都一样多的张数,这次不算!”小丫头吓得赶紧把钞票藏背后跟我争辩说:“LUCKY DRAW啊!不可能每个人都中奖的嘛!我一开始就告诉你了!”
教会徒弟,饿死师傅。我现在也有点头痛这个小丫头了。下个礼拜我是不是装病不见她呢?
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