我想离婚
厌倦了,我想离婚。想一个人过一段时间。
这么多年以来,我老要求自己如何如何,现在觉得自己已经全能了,有没有劳工无所谓。以前老我迁就别人,现在我谁都不想迁就了。既不想管人家,又不想迁就人家。婚姻其实就是迁就。
我觉得我都30了,我想为自己活一段,不要人家爱我,我爱我自己。我也不想爱人家了。
我如果为某男,我倒不离了。我常说的一句话,男人都一样,只是领带的款式不同。这个男人和那个男人,有什么本质的区别?不都是XY吗?所谓的伴,其实就是互相利用。你用完我我用你而已。
我这里正斗争腻!不一定行。他比橡皮糖还粘,我又不会板脸吵架或是故意闹翻。虽然每天和风细雨商量离,完了人还看我们俩搂一起出去。我真觉得很佩服那些狠的下心,拉的下脸的女人。怎么才能说重话呢?我唯一会说的,就是每天一坐一起就重复,离婚好不好?离婚好不好。。。。。。。搞的跟我求他一样。他还特横,就俩字:不好。我然后就没话了。http://66.bachinese.com
已经找了律师。他接到传票的时候奔气。因为不管成不,我都付700了。他讲有这笔钱不如两个人去游艇玩一趟。心疼钱哪,买点啥不好。
我的计划:
离了以后,至少单独过两年。想干吗干吗,不用照顾人起居饮食,不用每天到点回来做饭。不用感觉自己背个包袱。我想睡就睡,不用担心人催,想起就起,起来了就写东西泡电脑。自己出去吃饭,爱吃印度吃印度,爱吃泰国吃泰国,不用考虑是否合别人的口味。想旅游就旅游,想上班就上班,我工作一段休息一段。挣够饭钱我就出去玩。我讨厌现在这样成了生活的奴隶。我想自由自在。
所以,我告诉你,我是认真的。
我给婚姻,给家庭,给世俗的眼光栓了好久,老给人牵鼻子跑。我现在要叛逆了。等我流浪够了,我想结婚了,到时候再说吧。单身汉到处都是,以后肯定妇女紧张,应该?不会嫁不掉?
我是公认的好妻子,好老师,好媳妇,好公民。不过,内心里,我有时候想使点坏。比方说,我想往邻座人的杯子里挤两滴墨水,比方说,我想把碗堆成山,过一个礼拜才洗。比方说,我想穿成嬉皮士,把头发染成鹦鹉的颜色,比方说,偶尔我也想抽支烟。
我还想,冲对面走来的帅蝈蝈打个响指挤挤眼;我也想离家出走半年。我想忘记所有人的生日,不要到时间就寄卡片,也不想每天拿个笔写下备忘录,提醒自己明天还有什么事情要办。
我有时候想绝食,就那么躺着,几天不吃饭。很讨厌被人催着,说,快快,小心自闭成囚犯。http://66.bachinese.com
我活的很朝气蓬勃,很健康很向上,每天都给所有人笑脸。我希望温暖每个人,不过有时候觉得自己很无奈。我其实有时候想对我讨厌的人做鬼脸,然后竖起中指说:“去你妈的!”可我做不出来。
我想,我骨子里很颓废,我并不是那么博爱。
我其实不适合自由生活,我会把自己搞的一团糟。
我每天变花样做饭,每隔两天把衣服洗净晾干,每三天拖一次地,每个礼拜做一次爱。每月来一次例假,每年回家看看。我所有的固定生活,所有的时间表,都是因为,我活在这个ROUTINE的世界。我到时间毕业,到时间工作,到时间结婚,一切都如周围人所愿。
你们觉得我很阳光很灿烂?我觉得自己很孤独很灰暗。
我就想那么躺着,什么都不干。
抽一口大烟。
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