I think this over emphasis of 女人的温柔 puts too much burden on women. It seems that according your explanation of 温柔, both man and woman should possess this quality to be at least likable. In fact, it does not have much difference from being considerate.
If a husband remembers how exhausted his wife is after a hard working day, can he still sit in the sofa and enjoy the TV without any guilt while his wife is doing all the cooking, cleaning, and housekeeping? Hence,《我是怎么变成泼妇的》basically points out how one's bad quality can influence his spouse. And luckily, the wife chose to save herself, when she found that her past lover was unsavable.
If one loves somebody, he/she would natually be considerate, understanding, and patient. In fact, I can not help joining my wife's house work, because seeing her work alone is too much for me to carry. As long as you still have love, selfishlessness is not the impossible, it's the inevitable.