妈妈爱宝宝
2007年12月15日
宝宝有三招:你若批评他,说他不好,他就捏着嗓子叫,然后就冲你吹泡泡,口水乱喷,再不行就一头趴地上,威胁你:“宝宝舔地,宝宝舔地。”基本上到最后一招,全家就折服了。
爷爷不让宝宝看电视,宝宝就威胁爷爷:“宝宝舔地宝宝舔地。”爷爷只好说不能舔,脏,咱就看最后一眼。这一眼就是一个小时。
奶奶再三警告宝宝不能尖叫,宝宝逢不如意就故伎重演。奶奶某日怒极佯打宝宝,手刚举起,宝宝就眼泪哗哗而下,满屋乱跑着告饶:“宝宝错了宝宝错了!”奶奶追着问:你错哪了?
“宝宝唧唧叫。”“还叫不叫了?”“不叫了。唧唧叫不是好孩子。”奶奶别过脸去狂笑不已。回来告诉我说,你养了个莆志高,拿巴掌吓唬一下就招了。
隔日,宝宝又开始冲奶奶吐泡泡表示蔑视。奶奶正要瞪眼,宝宝自己说了:“吐吐沫不是好孩子。宝宝不要做好孩子。”奶奶的巴掌都下不去了,又开始扭脸偷笑。
宝宝见妈妈管教,也放赖,在大马路上一趴说,宝宝舔地。
妈妈说,随便舔。刚才有个叔叔过去刚把鼻涕擦地上。昨天狗狗过来在地上撒尿了。前天有小鸟飞过的时候拉了一泡粪。。。。。宝宝吓得赶紧爬起来说:“好脏好脏。。。。。”妈妈狞笑,哼,小样儿,不信收拾不了你了。
宝宝一岁半的样子跟阿布阿呆去街上玩,人家正卖电动绒毛玩具,会走路的母牛,小驴子,老虎,马等。宝宝一手抓一个就跑,阿布赶紧跟后头付账。阿布付完钱把宝宝抓过来说,可谢谢阿姨了?宝宝一鞠躬:“谢谢。”
于是宝宝有印象,拿东西是不要钱的,只要说谢谢。
某日去玩具店,宝宝顺手摸了人一个卡通熊的电风扇,一边往门口走,一边友善地跟老板说,谢谢。妈妈让宝宝放回去,宝宝死活不肯。妈妈一看价钱,估计只值1两块的东西,竟然要20.妈妈不想买。于是把电筒熊放在柜台上说,你如果够着了,就归你。够不着,是叔叔的。
柜台宝宝伸手还差个十公分的距离。宝宝垫脚,跳,伸舌头都够不着。
妈妈得意地扬长而去。谁知一回身,发现宝宝从旁边搬了个人家出售的小凳儿,站小凳上够着熊了,再次礼貌对老板说,谢谢。
现在,宝宝得意扬长而去,妈妈哭丧着脸付账。
妈妈穿着妖娆的肚皮舞服装放着DVD跳舞。宝宝目不转睛地看电视。妈妈再三呼唤,宝宝,宝宝看妈妈。说完站他眼前摇头摆尾。宝宝一挥手说:“别挡我。”
宝宝家爷爷爸爸都是数学家,妈妈本窃笑三代总要出个数学贵族了,也许未来家里出个高斯祖冲之什么的。谁知宝宝这里转向了,明显像妈妈,语言能力极强。家里每个人都分派教育重任。奶奶教儿歌,保姆教英语,妈妈教古诗词,爷爷教数学。其他进步都突飞猛进,唯独数学一塌糊涂。
爷爷说:宝宝,咱们数数。1.。。。。。
宝宝一边玩,一边说:“不要一。”
爷爷说:“二。。。。。。”
宝宝说:“不要二。。。。。。”
爷爷说,三。。。。。
宝宝说,不要三四五六七八九十。。。。。。。。。
妈妈跟后头问,那不要十后面是不要几啊,宝宝上当,说“十一十二十三十四十五十六。。。。。。”
妈妈嘘老头儿说:“去去去,你也好意思称自己为教授,看看咱的水平。”
爷爷说,滑头妈妈养了个笨蛋儿。咱家数学基因到此是被你给冲断了。
宝宝每天央求大家给他放DVD,大家都不理,怕他眼睛坏了。有一天他实在憋不住了,自己去捣鼓DVD PLAYER。先选出自己要看得碟片,再塞进DVD机,再开电视,再乱按一通遥控器,电视画面出来,宝宝一竖大拇指,向天空一划,非常潇洒地说:“YES!”全家哗然。自己动手丰衣足食呀。
宝宝跟保姆打羽毛球,好不容易接到一个,几乎是保姆放上去的,他还沾沾自喜得不行,要求大家:“奶奶鼓掌,妈妈鼓掌,爷爷鼓掌!”大家鼓掌过后,他非常绅士地一鞠躬,用球拍当礼帽,拦在腰上说:“谢谢。”然后仰天长笑:“哈哈,哈哈,哈哈。。。。。。”妈妈笑得从椅子上滚下来。
妈妈和宝宝共同的特点就是节约。怪不得说言传身教。妈妈每次喝酸奶,都把沾在盖子上的酸奶舔干净,喝完了再用舌头把酸奶瓶清干净。如果妈妈和宝宝一起喝酸奶,大家都争着舔奶瓶,两个长了白胡子的大人儿和小人儿相视一笑。妈妈去舔宝宝嘴上的胡子,宝宝来舔妈妈嘴上的胡子。温馨。多占点便宜,趁儿子找媳妇以前。
妈妈带宝宝出门,睡觉的时候发现没带尿布。妈妈对宝宝说:“不要尿床,不然皮皮姐姐生气了不带咱玩儿。你要是想尿尿就告诉妈妈。”然后不操心的妈妈倒头大睡。
宝宝捂着鸡鸡小心睡去,睡到一半拍醒妈妈说:“妈妈,宝宝尿尿,不能尿床。”
果真不出事。
奶奶听后眼泪都要掉下来了,说:“不操心的妈养操心儿。你真的很像后妈。”
妈妈把宝宝当大人看,赋予他大人的责任感,宝宝欣然笑纳。
妈妈爱宝宝。
宝宝也爱妈妈。
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