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偶得日记

陈偶得日记–睡美人

 

睡美人

宝宝在闹困。

那个难受的劲儿啊！跟犯大烟瘾似的，哈欠不断，眼睛却睁得滴溜圆。你得不停地颠，使劲地颠，跳着慢三步地颠，扭着秧歌地颠，嘴里还不能闲，使劲地唱，手更忙，抽着抱他的功夫，腾出三个手指头在他的肥屁股上啪啦啪啦地敲，敲出咯吧脆的声响才行。

宝宝以前不这样。困的时候只要往床上一扔就自己闭了眼睛睡了。那是他混沌未开的时候，这世界对他也无甚眷恋，合眼就合吧，反正睁眼也看不清。

最近，宝宝的视力好象有了极大的进步，不再看你如雾里看花，也不再老睁着懵懂的大眼睛，他总是盯着色彩艳丽的画面或图片或玩具，聚精会神地看，真正做到目不转睛。你绕开了，他就执着地扭过脑袋继续盯，唤也唤不回他的专注，有时候头都要扭背过去了，让人不忍心，索性将他感兴趣的放在他面前让他看个够。

昨天就去人家拐带东西了。人叔叔抱着他的时候，他老盯人家家挂在灯上的过年用的装饰小灯笼看个没完，一离开就抗议，到后来困极了，一只眼都闭上了，另一只眼还撑着呢，硬要看人灯笼。叔叔心疼他，临走妈妈就沾宝宝的光，把人家灯笼给拐带回家了。

妈妈心头那个乐呀！这以后行骗就容易多了。回家专门训练我宝盯人家欧米茄表大钻戒，就不撒眼，争取在偶得小朋友一岁以前攒够未来结婚的房子和我们家现在代步用的车。我哈哈哈哈！

我的龌龊思想要掩藏好，虽然心怀卑劣，但对孩子还得冠冕堂皇，教育他成DECENT BOY。

偶得现在很难哄骗。以前是甩哪睡哪。后来是甩哪睡哪但睁着大眼自己玩。再后来是睡片要靠边上拍一拍。再再后来是要抱一抱。再再再后来是站着抱。现在是站着抱还得颠，颠还得有节奏有质感，有舞蹈的韵律，最好比照着杨丽萍的孔雀舞。下身就照那个幅度扭，手就不必举起来了。

奶奶现在很辛苦，大部分时间孩子不离手。我称她为日举小牛。因为多次问奶奶累不？奶奶说不觉得。已经是六点一公斤的小胖子了，她居然不觉得，可见日后到了30斤啥的，也就习惯了。

现在我们家吃饭分拨。

妈妈先吃，赶紧吃，垫完底后就换阿姨来吃。刚才阿姨在吃饭，妈妈接过阿姨手中的炸弹继续站岗。小炸弹内不停地发警报，瘪着嘴特委屈，却没眼泪地哇哇叫，妈妈就开始扭秧歌。扭到浑身大汗，把刚才垫底的饭的能量都扭得差不多的时候，宝宝有点睡的意思了，大眼睛变成小眼睛，炯炯有神变成昏昏欲睡。怕扭得他睡不好，刚把幅度放小，他马上警惕地睁开眼，意思是：别偷懒！I AM WATCHING YOU！ I AM STILL AWAKE！

得！继续颠。

再过一会儿，看着好象是睡熟了，拉他胳膊也不醒，摸他脸也没反映。妈妈的胳膊实在是酸得不行了，想把宝宝放床上。

屁股刚沾床，“哇！”又开始了，前功尽弃。床上难道有针？扎他屁股？

又颠。

他又睡去。

奶奶说，换个手吧！

我说别介，刚着，一换又得醒。

偶那三个指头依旧不停地劈啪拍着肥屁股，口里哼着小曲儿，自己的屁股小心翼翼地沾个床边边，趁空休息会儿，闭上眼睛假寐。

没一会儿，我从假寐状态直接进入沉睡，手指的活儿也停了。口里的曲儿也住了。

不知道过了多久，睁眼一看，儿子正睁着那单眼皮大眼睛面部严肃地带着批判眼光地注视我呢！

小子不会说话，若会说，得警告我了：上工投机取巧，小地主没睡你就睡了，小地主都醒了你还没醒，以后妈妈这职业也不能搞终身制了，得竞争上岗。

我的小祖宗啊！你咋还不睡腻？

“陈偶得日记–睡美人”上的1,079条回复

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