DAVID是个大陆的孩子,进幼儿园中班的时候一句英文不会说,大多数时候他蜷缩在角落里努力地听。老师可以发现他非常费力,用尽他所有的心在抓住每一个单词。老师讲故事的时候,讲到幽默之处,其他孩子会哈哈大笑,而他却不明就里。
因为语言不通,他明显比其他孩子反应要慢一步。5岁的孩子,已经懂得残忍地取笑其他不如自己的弱小,已经会一些比较深刻的CURSE语言,他们喊他“STUPID DAVID”。DAVID进幼儿园后第一周,回家学给父母的第一个英文单词就是“STUPID”。他知道自己的名字是DAVID,根据同学那种讪笑的脸,根据他们围着圈子拍手或冲他扇鼻子的表情,他知道STUPID是个非常坏的词。
他回家喊妹妹STUPID,喊妈妈STUPID,喊狗STUPID,以此发泄心中的愤怒。而在学校里,他永远安静而胆小,虽然秉承了父亲的“男儿有泪不轻弹”,他受了欺负从不哭,不回家诉苦,但每天从一踏进幼儿园的门起,他的眼神里就蔓延着一种与他年龄不相称的沉重。他惊恐,他愤懑,他忧郁。到后来,即便他会说英文了,但因为他知道自己在同学眼里的STUPID,他索性就那么一直不开口,任性地假装自己什么都不懂。
他的父母某天是带他一起来学校的,跟校长告状说,孩子彻底厌恶学校,再不想去上学了。他们前一阵子一直强迫DAVID去学校,直到昨天,DAVID从梦中惊醒,直直坐在床上非常紧张地问妈妈:“上课时间到了吗?我不要去啊!”然后一直蒙着被子不出来。而今天早上,SCHOOL BUS停在家门口的时候,他如受伤的野鹿一般跳着脚,尖叫着说:“我再也不要上学了!我再也不要上学了!”妈妈才直到,他的心中,已经有了很深的阴影,学校与同学,原本应该温暖友好的词,在他心中已经变成了桎梏。
幼儿园院长震怒,她实在无法想象那些看上去可爱的白人小孩竟然这样歧视一个异族。她挨个把孩子们揪到办公室罚站,狠狠给他们上了一课,让他们学会什么是尊重,并且发信给相关孩子的家长,请家长帮助孩子写份道歉书给DAVID。
院长找到我的时候,满脸抱歉,她说了整个过程,我忍不住哈哈大笑,边笑边说对不起,我就是忍不住。我无法想象,7,8个孩子的家长捉着5岁孩子的手,认真而窘迫地书写:“I AM TERRIBLY SORRY 。。。。。。。”我答应院长,去听一堂DAVID的课,并且给他一些相应的帮助。
我在没去以前我就大约心中有数了。看的多了,很多问题其实不需要亲临现场,但我知道,如果院长跟家长说,我们请了一位中国的儿童教育专家(当然我不是,但这时候一定要给我戴高帽子以抚慰家长受伤的感情)现场解决您孩子的问题,家长就会觉得学校很重视,进而内心的悲伤不那么沉重。
要我说我的感受?我觉得不能责怪那些伤害DAVID的孩子。孩子的反应是天然的,是一种发自内心的真实情感。他们不喜欢DAVID,你怎么可以强迫他们NICE ?他们可以道歉,他们可以写检讨书,但这并不能彻底改变他们对DAVID的态度。你难道每天盯着全班10几个同学,每天要求他们对DAVID虚假微笑一分钟?我不能改变所有的孩子,我能做的,就是改变DAVID。
上课的时候,DAVID自然而然缩在角落里。我的第一个指令是,请大家让一个前排的位子给DAVID,这样DAVID可以看得更清楚。我跟孩子们说:“DAVID来自中国,他的英文不好。他在家里说中文。对于一个父母都不说英文的家里来的孩子,我们是帮助他,教他说话,还是笑话他,说他笨蛋?”我指着JACOB的头说:“HEY!你这个白痴!你连中文都不会说!我可以说中文,你会吗?”我用手扇扇鼻子,冲JACOB吐吐舌头,问JACOB:“你觉得高兴吗?我这样骂你?”JACOB摇摇头。我将DAVID拉到身边,说,他会,他可以说很好的中文。于是,我用英文问DAVID,怎么说聪明?怎么说漂亮?怎么说我爱你?他一一回答。
我鼓着掌说,DAVID真行!你可以听懂英文,你还会说中文,你比所有的小朋友都厉害,因为你会两种语言!
孩子们的表情顿时变了,因为得到老师夸奖的孩子,会两种语言的孩子让他们觉得DAVID很了不起。
DAVID坐在前排听他的老师讲课。后面一个女孩冲DAVID大声喊:“HEY!YOU BLOCK MY EYES, I CAN‘T SEE!”DAVID!一个比那女孩高出半头的大男生,居然一声不响又走到后面去。
我示意老师停一停,走到DAVID面前跟他说:“你不需要给任何人让位,因为你先坐在这里。请你走回去,告诉她‘I SIT HERE FIRST. IF YOU CAN’T SEE ,PLEASE MOVE A LITTLE BIT.” DAVID直直站那里,打死都不敢去。
我说,DAVID,你在学校里,你要学会用语言表达自己,你不张口说话,你永远都要受委屈。你一定要张口,表达自己的愤怒!不高兴了要叫出来,请你现在做一个愤怒的表情。
DAVID做了个奇怪的表情。这个孩子,典型的中国孩子,已经压抑到忘记了愤怒。我冲他微笑一下,指指自己的脸说,这叫高兴。又做了个愤怒的表情,挥挥拳头,再指指自己的脸说,这叫生气,你做一个。
他还是低头。
我请所有小朋友做一个愤怒表情给DAVID看,然后让DAVID学。
突然间,DAVID冲过去,走到那个冲他吼叫的女孩面前,非常大声地吼叫:“GET AWAY FROM ME!I HATE YOU!”流畅而坚定,我想这句话他在心中早已重复无数次。他然后大哭,淤积在心中的委屈化做倾盆泪水倾倒在我的裙子上,湿了好一大片。他的老师冲我笑了,举了举大拇指。
作为家长,我不希望您一味要求孩子象您一样秉承孔子的“温良恭俭让”,这个社会是展现自我的社会,这个社会是不屈不挠的社会,压抑过多,忍让太久会造成无法弥补的内伤。您,或您的孩子,如果有不快乐,请一定,一定大声说出来。
“I DON‘T LIKE YOU!”
我不知道这一堂课能给DAVID多少帮助,我会给DAVID的妈妈写信,希望她鼓励孩子说出心中的不快乐,让孩子有勇气有胆量发泄愤怒。
叫吧!DAVID!
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