既然青春留不住
来源:微博 作者:六六 2015年02月02日
1月9日晚顶风去看李宗盛“既然青春留不住”演唱会。
上个月,就有些动心,想请偶得爹与我一起去看。
初次接触李宗盛是因为偶得爹,那时候他在科大读书,男生宿舍里袜子臭和散落书桌的好几付扑克,以及WALKMAN里播放的李宗盛。我每次去找他,安静地坐他身边看他勾机,最后一把输赢已定,一定有一个小伙儿扯嗓子嚎两句“寂寞难耐,噢,寂寞难耐……”然后各自拎着饭盆水瓶,穿着拖鞋,晃悠着走出宿舍楼。
我的青春,在早恋,爹妈的呵斥和假装去图书馆读书,却藏在校园角落里亲吻,爱了,分了,等了,累了中,一点点走过。
16岁那年偶得爹护着我,骑着不熟练的自行车,去工大对面的省体育馆听崔健。没钱买票,便跟票贩子一点一点讨价还价。直到所有的观众都入场,剩下的票五块钱一张卖给我们,然后踏着崔健的歌声一路奔上最远最高的看台。崔健直到今天,在我眼里,都是一个黑黑的小不点儿。
日子在终日奔波苦中,渐渐明亮,我们曾经约定,有钱了踏平世界,看遍演唱会。随着文凭的增高,账户和房子的堆积,感情一点一点褪去,直到有一天劳燕分飞。
我们各自换了伴侣,各自开始新的生活。
家里的相册,几次搬家,都不知所踪。最早期的照片,留在合肥偶得奶奶家里。
青春竟然留白。除了儿子,是我所有过去的总结和感谢。
忽然间,“既然青春留不住”的李宗盛回到上海。
大屏幕上,一行一行写着李宗盛2001年记录的家庭生活文字。他的孩子,一个两个三个,他的女人,我们看得见,和看不见的。
眼泪落下。“已经做了的决定,是不会再更改的。相爱是容易的,相处是困难的。决定是容易的,可是,等待是困难的。我们,都像个孩子似的。”
也许没有照片,没有书信,没有联系,记忆,却永远停留。只要一首歌,一个眼神,一段文字,你就闻得见青春的味道。
数度,李宗盛在唱着老情歌的时候,眼眶湿润,声音哽咽。你可以从他的歌声里,听出每个情人的故事。他还会唱唱说说,分享每首歌背后的爱恨情仇,其中说到周华健与自己的在情爱路上的运气,周华健谈恋爱的时候,唱的是“明天我要嫁给你啦”,他的彩头就不好,跟林忆莲的定情歌是“当爱已成往事”,结果结局一目了然。
数度,我把现场照片拍下来,传给偶得爹,谢谢他,在我的青春里,留下版画。
曾经读过一个故事,说一个女人,如果没有爱人,没有孩子,没有父母,说明她前生修行得很好,不欠任何情债,她可以干干净净无牵无挂去天堂。
我想到林巧稚,想到修女特蕾莎,想到希帕蒂雅。
我没有她们那么完美的前生,我前生欠了许多情债,今生依旧在还,而且,我的境界仍停留在希望我爱过的和正在爱的人,我们要相互亏欠,我们要彼此纠缠,我们下辈子,还藕断丝连。
从16岁第一次站在离舞台最远最高的角落,到今天坐第一排最近距离的欣赏,这就是我青春走过的路。很感慨自己可以亲身感受李大叔的魅力。那些与他同时代的人,有好几个,我还没有准备好,他们已经仓促谢幕——张国荣、梅艳芳和迈克尔杰克逊。
既然青春留不住,就一定要活得坦然,老得优雅,且把岁月谱成篇章,一首一首唱过来。记得曾经的相爱,今天已笑着分飞燕。
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