英伦日记：乡音（4）
2014年07月29日
车往GRETNA开。
秀才选择这个落脚点是因为这是从英格兰到苏格兰的第一个小镇。小镇离英格兰与苏格兰的边界线只有7个MILE，以ELOPE闻名——就是私奔。
英格兰的法定婚龄是18岁。16岁以下结婚需要父母同意。在几百年前，经常碰到难搞的老丈人，弄得很多小爱侣不能鸳鸯成双，他们会奔到允许14岁结婚的苏格兰来，在被气急败坏的爹追上打腿以前，冲到GRETNA GREEN，镇上离英格兰最近的一家铺子是铁匠铺。他们狂奔着过去，铁匠一看小屁孩男女跑来，迅速放下手里正在锻造的家什，找俩路人观礼，自己证婚，远处爹在跑，近处速塞给给孩子们个证书，敲一下锻造机，成功！
现在来GRETNA私奔的人越来越少，大家都是有组织有计划地带着家人朋友来这里公奔。
我和秀才也是公奔。
路上雨下得滂沱。车里开20度竟然在供暖气！
刚从矿井出来，踩一脚的水，浑身发冷，看见第一个休息区（SERVICES）就要秀才停车，不喝点热的吃点烫的，感觉都冷到骨头里。
休息区里挤满了湿漉漉的人。COSTA大排长龙。英国有个很明显的感受是人口老龄化，服务人员少。越是少，还越是聊天。任你排队多长，收银员和服务员照样逮谁跟谁说话。后面的人倒也不急，各自找身前身后的陌生人家长里短。你要是英文不好，在英国呆一段，会有无数老头老太免费指导你英文。他们有足够耐心等你手机查到单词给他们看，他们还教你发音。
买杯咖啡花了我半个多小时排队！
排在我身后的是俩亚裔男女。因他们用英文交流，让我很难判断来自哪里。
突然，那个女孩来一句“我劳哎！”我扑哧笑了，回头用英文问：“你们来自新加坡吗？”
男孩答：“马来西亚。你怎知？”
我笑说：“我听你说‘我劳哎’，在新加坡，我们也这样说。感觉很亲切。”
说那句话的姑娘羞得捂着脸满地跺脚。男孩也哈哈大笑。两拨人自来熟。
男孩在英国读书，昨天刚拿到毕业证，今天起环游英国，下一站是爱丁堡。我则说我长居中国，已经去过英国哪里，有啥好玩的便推荐给他。
“我劳哎”，这句口头禅，几乎每个地方都有。上海是“擦那”，北京人是“我靠”，合肥人是“我冷”。
1996年初到上海工作的时候，有一天走在南京路上，感觉孤孤单单，那个繁华的大城市，跟我几乎没有关联。怎样都融入不进去。在新世界百货的天桥上，前面有一对人聊天，突然蹦出一句“我冷”，顿感亲切备至，竟然追上去拍人家肩膀用乡音问：“合肥来的？”对方也非常快乐地拍我肩膀称兄道弟说“老乡”。
前一阵子去看话剧。话剧院门口没车位了，遂弯到附近小区蹭车位。前一辆蹭车位的车子因报不出住户的姓名被无情赶出来。我们正要掉头走，突见保安热情招手放我们进，还主动开了栅栏。秀才大惊，说六六老师现在名气大到连陌生小区保安都认识你了？
我又诧异又得意。正要摇窗下来致谢，或下车合影，忽闻一堆武汉话飘来，对秀才说：“武汉车牌，你武汉人？”俩人如对上暗号一般开始扯东湖和江汉路。门卫说：“我看见你车牌是武汉的，好像看见亲人一样。快进去吧！话剧院没车位了吧？”
我们大笑。
车至GRETNA已是晚上8点，全家去镇子上觅食。
真没想到GRETNA如此袖珍！只有半条街！一条闹市区大约长30米，俩杂货店一糕点店一FISH&CHIPS店，没了！
正发愁晚上要饿肚子。突见一繁体字“兴华”的外卖餐馆。门口大排长龙。我们都很激动，混在一群白人里进去点餐。下单的服务员竟然是个苏格兰女人！以至于让我怀疑这家餐馆的水平，坚决要见大厨。
大厨还真是中国人——香港的。
我俩只能用英语谈菜谱。他不懂普通话，我不懂粤语。
下完单，我嫌里面拥挤，便冲他招手说：“再见！一会见！”
等我过来收菜，发现满满一大包！只有5镑的炒面，放了N多大虾！我有些过意不去，说你卖得太便宜了！
他答：“我在这里几乎见不到中国人。看到你，听见你说再见，很快乐。”
只一句“再见”和“谢谢”，我们便认同了对方。
乡音，是那个无论走到万里之外，一句暗号足以，让你找到亲人，找到组织，找到一切与过去有联系的轨迹，进而觉得天涯若比邻。
（文章版权所有，媒体转载前请联系[email protected]；题图取自六六英国之旅现场发来的照片）
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