你斗不过基因
来源:广州日报 B11:博议·每日连载 作者:六六 2013年12月02日
儿子偶得在玩玩具的时候自言自语,意思是,你再欺负我,我就要还手了哦!我会踢你哦!我有无影手哦!——他手里两个变形金刚在对话。
我笑着问他:“你们班有同学欺负你吗?”谁知他竟然认真答:“有,某某总是打我。”我问他:“他为什么打你?”偶得说:“我不知道啊!他有时候走过来就会打我一巴掌,没原因。”我问他:“疼不疼?”偶得:“不是很疼,但我很生气。”
“你要我出面帮你摆平吗?”
偶得问:“你怎么摆平?”
“等他下课以后我等在校门外丢一只蟑螂在他衣服里面,我嚼一块口香糖粘他头发上让他扯不下来剃光头。”
偶得笑得前仰后合,神情快乐得如好事成真一样,可转头又不忍:“恶作剧不是好孩子。”我说:“可他欺负你呀!”偶得想了想说:“他一天也就打我一两下,我能忍,算了。”
“我也可以跟老师谈,让老师管管他。”偶得心理上到底是个男子汉,觉得一点小事就要搬娘出面有损他的男人气概。他摆摆手说,不要了,我再过一段时间看看,不行再找你想办法。
我看他每天情绪还正常,没有哭天抢地或者畏学抵触,就决定让他自己处理。他生性平和,不争胜负,看起来也许过于文静不像男孩,但实际上他广结人缘,班级的男孩女孩都喜欢与他交往,原因是每个人都愿意选择好人做朋友,而好人也拥有选择的权利。
我跟偶得说:“你如果需要我的支持,我会毫不犹豫帮助你。但有一点你要记住,你不会一生与那个欺负你的孩子为伍,你不理他,一路向前跑,最终有一天会把他甩在身后,他在你一生中,根本没有分量。”
偶得的后爹知道此事不答应了。男人总容易把欺负上升到尊严和领土之争,雄性荷尔蒙会瞬间爆发。他教偶得左勾拳扫堂腿,非要把同学扳倒。“男孩子哪有不打架的?你把他制伏一次,狠狠地教训他一回,他就老实了,从此再不敢碰你!”偶得拒绝说:“我不打架,打架不文明。野兽才打架,我可以和他谈话。”我笑着拉开我的野兽,跟他说:“你不要干涉孩子的选择,他有他的人生。”我内心里很感动,这么小的孩子,已经懂得人不等同于动物,要用沟通的方式解决,我至少不必担心未来他年轻气盛之时失手入狱。善忍的男性不是弱小,而是理性。但我同时也谢谢我的野兽,因为他在我身后,让我现在过得很有底气,终于把积压多年的管闲事的心彻底释放出来。
没过几日,偶得轻描淡写地说:“我的问题解决了。”我很好奇他用什么样的智慧去调停纷争,我以为他用三寸不烂之舌将莽夫纳于帐下。谁知他答:“有个喜欢我的女生知道以后冲过去把他打一顿,把他铅笔盒都扔出去了,让他跟我道歉,我原谅他了。”
我哭笑不得,仿佛看见我儿子如他爹一样,总藏在女人身后,而爱他的女人大多豪情如大丈夫。
你斗不过基因。
(本文选自由长江文艺出版社出版的《女不强大天不容》)
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