婚姻是女人的事,爱情是心事
来源: 亚马逊·中国 作者:六六 2013年09月06日
全国乃至华语世界各大报纸均把我斗小三的事置于重要版面。我想,大家关注的不是我本人,本人能量没有这么大。大家关注的是大奶与小三之间的较量,而这种较量日日在世界各地上演。
感谢新加坡,我的第二故乡,没有在我最低谷的时候让我雪上加霜,选择静默以待的方式留给我空间。
我今天,只把自己化身成故事女主角,讲段故事与大家听。
那个进入我生活五年多的小三儿,近日给我发了一封爱情万言书,我以为鱼死网破的宣战开始了,没承想,竟然是一封惺惺相惜要求与我同仇敌忾的求盟信。这真大出我意料。
抛开我的当事人身份,这封信如此情意绵绵情深意切,我看得都忍不住潸然泪下进而职业习惯地想邀请小三进军影视界。再牛逼的编剧都写不出如此狗血的连续剧,而她一个未曾读过什么书的女人因为爱情竟文采斐然。我曾拿着这封几近全版剧本的长信笑对我的制片人说:“爱情能让傻逼变成莎士比亚。”
我这篇文章,不是为我自己而写,却写给那些有意挑战婚姻的小三。
小三在信里写那个男人对她如何地好,诸如为她大热天送凉粉,记得她喜欢的颜色,精心准备生日礼物等。
其实这些事情,但凡经历过被求偶的女人,无一不曾被宠爱过。他不表现,你怎会与他共赴床笫?今天他开车去看你,而二十多年前当他是毛头小伙不名一文,一腔满满的荷尔蒙甚至可以化成他步行十几里雪地为你送一朵梅花的浪漫。
你以为他爱你,他不过是喜欢追求并得到的感觉罢了。你们曾经做过的事,我们做过千百遍了。
小三在信里写大奶这样或那样的不堪,面目狰狞邪似砒霜,皆是男人告诉她的,博取她一腔母爱。小三为爱,都跪到尘埃里了,擦身洗澡剪指甲上痔疮膏,已将自己包裹到三位一体,集圣母圣婢圣灵为一身,所有那个男人爱的,她都给,所有那个男人厌的她都不做,她五年的好时光尽付于他。
突然有一天,小三悲催地发现,这个男人,还有小四或小五,还有其他不为外人道的艳遇,除她之外依旧会跟其他人颠鸾倒凤鸳鸯帐暖。
小三于是用了一个词:背叛。
小三信的开头是:对不起,你所遭遇的痛苦,我一一尝试。我想不通,我哪里让他不满意了。
我突然间就忍不住喊她一声妹妹。妹妹啊,你今日的迷惘,我当年也曾走过。
我哪里让他不满意了?我汤水侍奉翁姑,教育孩子妥帖,出得厅堂端正,入得帷帐疯癫。他每一次的指责都化为我补缺补差的动力,二十多年下来,我日日严格要求自己不求他回报,终于在苦难中成就自己。
今天,我可以清晰地告诉你,让他不满意的,不是你或者我或者旁人,让他不满意的,是他自己和把情爱变淡的岁月。
一个人如果在四十多岁上依旧不懂生活的归宿在哪,依旧想通过情爱来证明自己的实力,依旧把自己置于碟中谍的跌宕起伏险象环生之中,他就没长大。这还是我客气的说法。
你让我与你联手打击这个男人,我做不到。
他是我小孩的爸爸。他纵有万般不是,你可以恨他怒他以手头的资料揭发他,而我与他是血缘之亲,有共同的孩子,我不能。“亲亲互隐”,明白这个道理,你就知道我为什么在我可以一朝扬眉之时却与你站在不同的战壕。
不过,我真心感谢你,因为你的这封信,让我下了万万次的决心终成真。
三十八岁以前的日子,我为爱别人为责任为顾全孩子而活,现在,我要为自己活了。为等待这一天的到来,我每天增益自己,头悬梁锥刺骨时刻准备着,有一天当我可以摆脱情感的不舍的时候,我可以漂漂亮亮毫无怯懦地走进新生活里。
拆解汉字,“婚姻”这两个字,都是女字边,寻求婚姻是女人的事;“爱情”这两个字,若是繁体,都是心字部,爱情是心事。心事是男女共通的,而婚姻却只与女人有关。你想坚守它,它就不会坍台;你想放弃它,它就灰飞烟灭。
你亦珍重,要明白一个道理——规矩存在的原因,不是为了约束你,而是为了保护你。不守规矩,自毙。
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