十年努力的冰淇淋
来源:联合早报 【四合院】 作者:六六 2013年2月25日
1999年随孩子他爹来狮城闯荡新世界,当时除了年轻和热情,一无所有,与好几名年轻人合租一套公寓,去超市买打折的芹菜和鸡,因为一块新币插在手推车里拔不出而落泪伤心,挣的第一笔工资是为大学教授做保姆而得的报酬,为找工作跑到新加坡地图上都没有标出的厂区,听了长到20多岁被拒绝最多的NO。“NO,我们只招PR。”“NO,我们只招名单上列出的中国这些著名大学毕业生。”“NO,我们不可以为你申请工作准证”………我在无数次失意打击之后,依旧鼓起勇气,甚至与一起来的陪读太太们商量是否在小贩中心开个卖水饺的店,最后在一家国际学校教中文,开启了我在新加坡的职业生涯,并逐渐桃李满山坡。
逐渐被新加坡打动
刚到新加坡的时候,又爱又慕又恐慌又彷徨,找不到方向,不可预知未来,且总有打一枪换一个地方,这地方要是混不下去咱就回中国或者再西游去,此处不留爷,自有留爷处的逃跑想法。随着日子的深入,我逐渐被新加坡打动,这里看起来苛刻,却入情入理,看起来拒绝,却暗自给你留着光明,看起来地域狭小,却内心宽阔,它既容得下不同的肤色民族,也容得下不同的语言和表达方式,它很严格,却因严格而给予每个人自由的空间。
刚到新加坡时就被告知在新加坡吃口香糖是违法的,在车厢里吃东西喝水也违法,乱穿马路遭车祸无赔偿,后来陆续知道很多禁令,这不许那不许,举手投足间都要考虑一下有没有被罚的可能,不停纠正自己在别处养成的坏毛病,规范自己的行为。日子久了才体会到没有规矩不成方圆,因为有这些约束,我享有着世界上最洁净的环境,最有秩序的交通,最安全的生活,最友善的态度。我从一个总怒气冲冲,总抱怨,总叹气的女孩,在这样的环境里也历练得平和安静周到,会照顾体贴他人,被他人服务的同时也因感激而回馈他人。
在我20多岁的时候,我总是在思考,为什么这世界如此不公平,仅仅因为出生地不同,你就被划分进贫穷或富裕的国家,仅因为没有一纸国籍,你就天然低本地人一头,他们不屑于做的工作才轮到你做,他们有薪水保障你却没有。我怎样才能像我在工余做家教的那些富裕人家的太太一样,每天的日常工作就是接送孩子,聊天、美容、BBQ和游泳。那些昂贵的橱窗里的商品,和那些富丽堂皇的五星级酒店都让我望而却步,我觉得穷我一生,都不可能过上那样纸醉金迷的生活。
坐在闹市的冰淇淋店点三球冰淇淋,看来来往往形色匆匆的路人,自己跟自己干杯。
当别人在喝红酒品芝士的时候,我汗流浃背地在各色公交上穿梭;当别人穿礼服去听音乐会,告诉我一张票只有百多块的时候,哪怕送我票,我都买不起去观赏的礼服,当别的孩子家长送给我礼物的提袋是爱马仕LV的时候,我都诧异原来这些商品真的有出路。那时候的我,一门心思就是干活,赚钱,买属于自己的组屋,过上普通本地人的生活。
过上了自己梦想的生活
日子就在自己披星戴月的行走里,在存款一点点的增长里,在沙哑的嗓音里,在追求梦想抠出睡眠写作的时间里一点一点光明。
我们拿到PR通知的当天,我举着存单骄傲地通知当时的老公我们可以看房去了。我们买了房,我们装修了家,我们开始有闲钱去马来西亚旅游,我们周末去餐馆吃饭,我们回国探亲,不再搬运牙刷毛巾回来却会给父母们带礼物回去,我们有勇气在新加坡生小孩,甚至到最后离婚还有大笔财产可以分割……
十几年过去,在没有一刻放松警惕,被生活追赶着前进中,终于,我一点一点过上了自己梦想的生活。直到今天,我回到这片教会我什么是真正的公平,什么是追求幸福,什么是岁月与成长印记的地方,坐在闹市的冰淇淋店点三球冰淇淋,看来来往往形色匆匆的路人,自己跟自己干杯,表彰过去十几年不懈努力最终可以浮生半日偷闲,像十年前我羡慕的韩国太太欧美女人一样不上班享受生活。世界没有一刻是公平的,它只为那些它需要的且不停努力的人打开大门,并每天挑战考验你的恒心耐力。我相信,只要你坚持,你也会和我一样,十年以后吃得上这杯包含酸甜苦辣欢笑眼泪,却只有感激没有后悔的冰淇淋。
(作者为作家、著有《蜗居》、《心术》等,来自中国安徽,1999年来新)
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