承受不了的真实
2009年10月26日
某杂志创刊一年,约我写情感大篇。先自我介绍了一下,说有多少名人参与了被采访,有多少名人贡献了文字,意思是我们这个杂志没有掉你的价。
其实我对这个不在意的,我想写什么不想写什么,完全看这个主题吸引不吸引我,我有没有观点要说。
我于是问她,你希望我写什么内容的情感?
她说,写新女性在围绕一个主题:女人不能在爱中失去自己。 因为我们年刊的整体主题是:新女性,新家庭,意思是现今的女性对待感情和以前有什么变化,以前是什么样的,而现在是什么样的。
我答她:“我不会写命题作文。”我的言下之意其实是,我不想写限定主题的作文,你设定一个思想,让我为这种不是我的思想摇旗呐喊,我做不到。我不是御用文人,以前不是,以后也不是。我最喜欢的约稿形式是跟我说,六六,你给我们写点什么吧,随便写,写什么都行,是个字我们都收。我显然不会滥用我好不容易建立起来的公信力,至少不会有主观意愿利用公开媒体教唆青少年学坏。
小编跟我说:“其实也不是命题作文,只是围绕这样的中心思想:女人不能在爱中失去自我。我之所以想找你约稿,重要的方面也是因为我觉得你就是这样想的。你来写很合适。”
我哈哈一笑,答她:我经常失去自己。我一谈恋爱就迷糊,可圆可方,没有原则,只要不涉及我做人的基本原则。我其实没刻意追求过不迷失,一爱就失去。但我不觉得这是坏事,自己不后悔就行了。你一个演员在舞台上不全情投入却告诉自己,我在演戏,那她肯定不是好演员。你要我写,我只能写一篇理智与情感,什么时候该理智,什么时候该有情感。
比方说,接吻的时候,你让我瞪大眼睛查看对方脸上的痣或者眼睫毛的根数,我不可能做到。我只会闭着眼睛体味。但那之后和那之前,我一般都睁着眼睛,避免走路撞墙或者被树枝绊倒。
小编小心翼翼来一句:那能够同时说明我说的那个主题吗?
我老实回答:“ 我不知道。你要我为赋新词强说愁,我做不了。 为论证某种事先设定的观点是对的,我很难,我只能说我自己的心里话。”
小编沉默片刻答我:“我理解。谢谢你,那我再想想。”
结束对话后,我笑了。每个人都害怕面对真实,如果那个真实不是自己想要的话。
其实我也怕,但我依旧要努力面对我的真实,听我的心说话。
理智与情感 (外一篇)
所以,我突然自己就提笔来谈论这个问题了。
什么是理智什么是情感?
这里我要拿李安作比。李安曾经说,色戒这个小说,在他脑海里徘徊了十几年,每每停下就会在他脑海中浮现。这就是他内心的情感。
但色戒这样的电影,如果是一个名不见经传的小导演去拍,其结果,基本就是汤唯现在这个样子。更惨的是,汤唯好歹还有李安推荐,拿了个香港的身份。李安要是在那样的时段拍了那样的电影,估计已经湮没在大海。
于是,李安为了实现他的情感,他做了很多理智的事情,包括承拍“理智与情感”。我相信他本人对这个故事没什么喜好偏向,但作为工作,他做到最好,奠定了华语导演在英语电影圈的开创性地位。他证明了他依旧可以把英国人引以为傲的名著拍到新高。
他是在得了奥斯卡奖之后才回归到色戒的。那部得奖的断臂山,将美国人的精神世界再现得无可挑剔。再回到中国市场的时候,他已经是国内外公认的大师。
大师想什么就是什么,要什么就有什么。
他要的不多,不过是个色戒。
情感是你内心的追求,是你最终极的需求,你为那九尺高台之巅,需围建大量的工程,包括理智地判断什么是你能做到的,什么是你做不到的,什么是你应该做的,什么是你不该做的。等你把这个高台搭到八层半的时候,第九层自然就耸立在塔尖。
否则,你的情感,不过是无根水,无依萍,海市蜃楼的环境和你不断追寻也追寻不来的蓬莱仙阁。
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