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偶得日记

偶得日记四篇

偶得日记四篇

2009年10月16日

你的儿子和我的孙子

我基本上可以根据爷爷的开头语判断偶得一天的表现。

如果爷爷开头是“你儿子今天。。。”不用说，我就知道表现不佳。

如果爷爷开头说“今天我孙子。。。”肯定是表现良好。

我昨天忍不住问爷爷：“我儿子不是你孙子吗？为什么干坏事的时候是我儿子，干好事的时候是你孙子？”爷爷嘿嘿一笑。

可见，人们总是把责任要推托出去，功劳要揽到怀里。

　

理解力

偶得以他自己的方式理解世界。

某天早上爷爷送偶得去学校，刚出门，车的链条断了，遂改BUS。下午我去接偶得，偶得跟我说：“爷爷接不了我了，因为面条断了。”我说，什么面条？偶得说，就是爷爷的车，面条啊！奶奶跟爷爷说，面条断了，不能骑了。

偶得对于他不懂的东西，总是先转化成他懂的东西去理解。

我们大人也一样。头两天我在看BBC的ATOM系列，讲的是原子的发现过程。因为是物理话题，比较难懂，我感兴趣的是里面的故事，爱因斯坦，薛定谔和海森堡等人的争论，其中有一个段子说的是薛定谔无法解释原子的波状运动。他是个翩翩贵族子弟，相貌好，家世好，风度好，女人缘极旺，与他周游的女人快高过他的年龄数目。他在度假胜地的时候给自己定下一个目标，这次旅行，要么取悦一个女人，要么解决一个物理难题。

结果在做床上运动的时候他突然感悟到，他要是猛烈些，女人的声音就高些，他要是轻柔些，女人的声音就低些，于是赤身裸体的时候恍然大悟，他当时的理解是，原子的运动，类似女人的叫声，不是常规波运动轨迹，确实花瓣状地高低起伏，进而给出了波的运动公式。

旁的我都不甚懂，这段是通俗易懂。

所以，以后解决什么复杂的问题的时候，请以简单的比喻作引子。

我于是对邓老的话有了新理解：科技是第一生产力。

性是第一生产关系。

生产关系推动生产力。

所以性推动科技进步。

　

爱

奶奶总是嫉妒地说，偶得是养不熟的白眼狼。对他再好，娘一来，谁都不要了。

偶得通常不得罪人，但在大是大非问题上是一点不含糊的。任何时候只要问他，你最爱谁，答案肯定是妈妈。

奶奶就问我，你有什么秘诀，让他这样死心塌地，你一来，他谁都不要了。

我笑说，无他，就是爱。

奶奶也爱，爱他的身体；我也爱，我爱他的心。

偶得跟我藏猫猫，说他会隐身，然后拉开床单把自己藏在床单下，我笑眯眯地乱翻，问，偶得去哪了啊，隐身以后我就看不见你了！

偶得很高兴地钻出个头，让我告诉奶奶来找他。

奶奶一进门，吧唧一巴掌隔着被单打偶得的头，说，你看你，把床弄得这样乱！赶快出来！

偶得不知所措，委屈地钻出来，到一边生气。

我赶紧抱抱偶得，跟他说，你跟奶奶说，没关系的，等我玩玩了，妈妈和我一起收拾干净。

偶得眼泪都要掉下来了，他搞不懂为什么妈妈觉得高兴的事，奶奶生气。

我把偶得打发出去玩，跟奶奶说，小孩想点子玩是好事，说明他在思考，在动脑筋，不会玩的小孩是很难发散思维的。孩子乖，呆着不动并不好，小时候看着好带，其实思维就被固定住了，他被限制着这不许那不许，索性就不思考不去解决问题，什么事都找大人帮忙，他的脑子就废了。偶得会玩是好事，你要鼓励他。

奶奶的表情，也不知道是同意还是反对。

这也是我决定迅速让保姆回归的原因，有了保姆的帮忙，奶奶不那么累于家务，也许就同意偶得在家乱来了。

我对小孩作乱，向来是鼓励的。

我不介意家里乱七八糟，但我介意我的小孩是否享受这种快乐。

乱可以随时整理，而快乐不那么容易捕捉。

　

特长

偶得现在就开始跟我谈心了。

他内心的不满和困惑，会告诉我，我会给他一个鼓励，一个追寻答案的方法。

我一般不直接告诉他答案，感觉这样破解谜题太简单。而好的老师，是不会损伤孩子的自信的。一个孩子在信心满满的前提下，才能够更有创造力和爆发力。

我跟爷爷说了我的决定：我希望暂停对偶得的数学教育，他不会就不会，到时候自然就会了，水到渠成。他现在才四岁，你就因为他不会二十以内的加减而发愁，老是当他的面说，偶得数学真的很差，比他爸爸差远了！以至于偶得一看到题板上的数字，就自己主动说，我不会，我数学不好嘛！

可你忘记了，偶得的语文很好，比他爸爸强多了。我们为什么总犯同样的错误，拿别人的强项比自己孩子的弱项。中国人擅长鞭策，鞭策的意思其实也是一种鼓励。但鼓也好，鞭也好，在中国的词汇中，都是打出来的，有一种FORCE在里面。我希望我的小孩在和风细雨，阳光灿烂中长大，永远听到的是赞美的话语。我要大张旗鼓地表扬他，温柔委婉地批评他，让他相信自己只要努力，没什么不行的，即使努力过，不行，也没关系，毕竟我们又不是超人，样样大拿，努力过，试过，知道这样不行，就可以开始新的尝试了，总有行的时候。

我要的，就是将孩子的优势，发挥到极致。

你有了极致的优势，其他的劣势，就不算什么了。

毕竟，人谋生也好，成功也好，只需要一个特长。

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