变!变!变!
2009年07月02日
1.和偶得玩变变变的游戏。
他假装手里拿了一根魔棒,嘴巴里喊:“变!变!变!”我无论在做什么,立刻变雕塑状,表情夸张地僵持。有时候是拿着叉子张嘴,保持食物往里送的姿势,有的时候是走路刚迈一只脚还没落地,有的时候是喝水喝一半,任由水从杯子里倾斜流到衣服上,总之就是被石化了。
他特别爱玩这个游戏。等他再喊:“变变变!”的时候,我才可以恢复正常的活动。
他玩这个乐此不疲,经常是不停地挥舞他的假象魔术棒,让我在一分钟之内解冻又上冻N次。
有时候弄烦了,就不搭理他了。
他会奇怪地看看手里空空如也的棒子,问我:“怎么回事呀?魔法不灵了?”
我笑嘻嘻地答:“没电了嘛!遥控器不灵了。”(原来魔法棒就是巫师的遥控器啊!)
偶得着急地问:“哪里有电池呀!哪里有电池呀!”
我说:“这个是新能源,用电池不好,对环境有污染,这个是太阳能的。你亲我一下,阳光下面晒晒,电就有了。”
偶得于是心甘情愿跑过来跟我亲嘴巴。我再伸个懒腰陪他玩。(明显是占人便宜嘛!)
2.昨天中午他午睡,我们在不同的房间。他要跟奶奶玩变变变,奶奶不会玩,或者说玩得不如我逼真,他觉得兴意阑珊,不跟奶奶玩了,就自己玩变变变。他自己喊,自己变。
我听了觉得好笑,就跑过去看。
他冲腿喊:“变变变!”腿翘起来不动,再喊,腿又放下。
最后他创意地喊:“变变变!偶得没有了!”
我走过去,捏捏他的腿说,偶得没有了,这是什么?他说,这是我的腿。
我捏捏他的脸蛋,说,这是什么?他说,这是我的脸。
我再捏捏他耳朵,说,这是什么?他说,这是我的耳朵。
我说,你什么都在,偶得怎么会没有了呢?
偶得眼珠转转说:“我的脑子飞走了嘛!现在跟你说话的是我的嘴巴,不是脑子啊!”(我以前告诉他,说话要经过大脑的,人其实是用脑子说话,嘴巴是表现工具。)
我哈哈大笑,英文的ABSENT-MINDED就是这个意思吧?
3.刚才我上网,他推门进来说:“妈妈,我要尿尿!”我说,你尿啊!他说,你陪我嘛,因为我怕MONSTER把我吃掉。
我正看啥文章起劲,就不想动,就说,你先进去,如果MONSTER把你吃掉了,我就去救你。
他问:“我都吃掉了,你怎么救?”
我说:“我去拿把刀,把MONSTER的肚子打开,把你救出来。”
偶得说:“不行的!刀会割到我的!”
我说:“以前你在我肚子里的时候,医生不是拿刀把你割出来的,也没伤到你呀!”
偶得突然恍然大悟地说:“原来MONSTER就是你呀!”
我哈哈大笑说:“没关系,我是好MONSTER。是你朋友的MONSTER。”
偶得自己尿尿,问:“你怎么还没有来陪我?”
我说:“因为你没被MONSTER吃掉啊!”
他说:“我已经被吃掉了!你快来救我呀!”
我说:“你等着,我去拿刀啊!”其实身体动都没动。
他问:“你的刀拿了没有啊?”
我说:“路途遥远,我的马跑得不够快,要很久的。”
偶得说:“厨房里就有啊!你去呀!”
我说:“不行的,杀MONSTER要青龙偃月辟邪刀,要去西天取的!”依旧不动身子。(真沉啊!)
偶得自己终于忍不住了,提了裤子跑出门去。
我喊:“你不是被MONSTER吃掉了吗,怎么自己跑出来了?”
他说:“你太慢了嘛!我自己拿起球把MONSTER屁股给打烂跑出来了。”头也不回就走了。
你瞧,天下哪有救世主?更没有神仙皇帝,亲娘也靠不住。最终还要展开自救。
哈哈哈哈!
这小日子过得,真爽啊!
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