分类
幼儿教育

丛林法则

丛林法则

2009年01月21日

偶得开学三周。前两周每天上学都高高兴兴的，看着像个大孩子，第一天起就不要人陪，妈妈走的时候摆摆手，妈妈接的时候扑上来，非常快乐的小孩，一切如超级妈妈预料的一样。

第三周开始闹学。早上不肯换衣服，不肯吃早饭，不肯去学校。跟保姆龇牙咧嘴掰扯。

我一看就知道学校出状况了，不外乎给老师批评了，要么就是给同学欺负了。上前一问，开始还扭捏不肯说呢。男同志，要面子，一般不太爱告状。比方说，男人在家打女人，女人就哭喊着家暴了。女人要是在家打了男人，男人一般都不作声。男人要是把女人非礼了，那就拘留了，女人要是非礼了男人，那是白非礼。

偶得开始不肯说，在我连哄带骗下，知道了，原来学校的阿林打他了。估计人家人高马大，下手不轻，偶得估摸着不是对手，内心有怯意，于是就有了畏学思想。你讨厌一个地方，往往是讨厌那里曾经发生的事和曾经得罪过你的人。

妈妈搂着偶得教他：下次阿林再打你，你吧唧一巴掌打回去，打得重重地，记得没有？

偶得爹在旁边听了不乐意了，说，怎么教我孩子呢？你不会跟他讲告诉老师啊？

我跟他讲：“你一边去，这个问题你不要管。”

我自己是幼儿园老师，我知道。一般每个班总有一两个爱戳事的淘气包，老师平日里会多加盯梢，但不可能10个小时都长他一个人身上。我作为老师不能教孩子下次他再打你，你一巴掌打回去。因为各个孩子情况不同，有些孩子天生体格弱小，力气不大，反击不当亏吃得更大。但我家偶得吃我那么多肉，那都是我三年多的投资，不能白吃了。再说了，男子汉大丈夫，这点小问题就折戟了，长大以后能干啥呀！

小时候心理上不能有被欺凌的阴影，这个我是知道的。很多性格的发展和心灵的创伤都是少儿时期留下的，因为那时候你没有足够的能力去解决。而那时候的烙印有可能伴随终身。

我小时候班上有个老留级生，大我们几岁，人高马大老爱欺负女孩子。我的发小每天早上在他交作业的时候都被他摸一下手，她心里那个难受啊！也是不想上学了。她爹跟她说，下次他再摸你手，你就BIA的一巴掌打回去。小丫头说，我不敢。她爹说，来，我们在家练好了你就敢了。老爹勇敢地贡献他的手给丫头做实验，直到一巴掌上去脆脆有声为止。第二天，发小如法炮制，反手一击，吓得男孩跟老师告状，说我发小打他。

还是那个家伙，天天在上课的时候玩我辫子，拉得我头发生疼。我也是害怕不敢反抗，跑去跟老师讲，老师顶多说他一句：“你不要摸六六辫子！”可人家该摸还是摸。那时候每天顶着一头乱发对我来说简直是天大的耻辱。也许其他人眼里没啥了不起，我都上升到被侵略被凌虐的程度了，终于有一天按奈不住天性的野蛮，上去一口咬住他的胳膊不松口，那个青紫啊，上课的时候他就哭了。我遭到老师一顿批评，人家家长还到学校不依不饶跟老师告状。

老师跑我们家来家访，跟我娘告状我的凶残。我娘当老师面批评了我两句。等老师转身一走，我娘拼命夸奖我：“咬得好！下次他再欺负你，你还咬他！”并犒劳我一个鸡腿。

后来没下次了。那个家伙绕着我走。

我和我发小的父母们就这样把我们俩训练成彪悍当代成功女性。她比我还牛叉，位居注明跨国公司高管。

我对儿童教育的研究并不能帮助我儿子免于被欺负的境地。关键时刻还得爹娘老子的那一套派用场。

说实话，我一直认为，小孩之间的打打闹闹压根不当真，也许今天阿林打他一巴掌，明天两个人又抱成团，这个就是儿童世界。但儿童世界也有丛林法则，也许我们看着特别不值一提的小事儿，他们便张皇着无法解决。

昨天早上，偶得去上学，保姆送的。偶得冲前面那个小孩的屁股就是一巴掌。

FE吓一跳，一把拉过偶得说，你干吗打人家呀！

偶得说：“妈妈讲的嘛，让我打他的。”

保姆问：“他是谁呀？”

“他是阿林啊！”

今天早上，偶得又高高兴兴去上学了，一扫过往几天的颓势，一巴掌而已，效果极其明显。

不过，等晚上回来，我还要教育他，人不犯我，我不犯人。下回，阿林打你的时候你才能还手，阿林高高兴兴前头走，你打他作甚？

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