我的职业妈咪生涯
2009年01月01日
刚到提行李处,就见儿子骑他爹头上,高兴地冲我挥手。小子两个半月不见,长得又高又壮,感谢FE的精心饲养。
我一出大门,儿子就从他爹身上跳到我怀里,从此不撒手了。这都两天多了,我腰酸背疼。儿子跟保姆和他爹说:“你走吧!你走吧!我妈妈来了!”他以为大家多稀罕他,其实自打我这个替手来了以后,大家都消失得一干二净,没有一个人愿意再在他面前出现。
这小子,我实在是受不了。但我一直认为他多话的性格可能更多来自于他爹的遗传。我印象里我小时候挺沉默寡言的,更多时候都独自思考。他的嘴巴只有在睡觉的时候是紧闭的,其他时候就不停吧唧,也不知道哪来那么多话。我认为我带过的小孩成百上千,我儿子在多话这方面还是可以笑傲江湖的。
他话多如果仅仅是自言自语也就算了。他说完以后还要让你发表意见,而且他的句式以“为什么”开头,所以你必须得有下话。时间长了,觉得脑袋不太好使,一到晚上倒头就睡,以缓解大脑紧张,所以创作又停滞了。幸好他5号就上幼儿园了,老师能替我扛一个白天。
回来第一天下午就带他去WEST MALL喝下午茶。是他爹把我们赶出去的。因为家里要重新排兵布阵,方便各人活动和居住。
我带着偶得上路,小子一路上捡树枝,踢石头,捉蚂蚁,把树叶和垃圾塞进下水道里,原本20分钟的路走了长长长长的一个小时。
我也不催他。
只要他不叫我抱,我打算跟他耗到底。他娘多的就是时间。感谢老天给我的这个工作,有非比寻常的时间和耐心跟他软缠硬磨。我从小就在我妈的催促声中长大,快点快点快点,以至于我到现在吃饭都像打仗,走路似行军,经过几代人的奋斗,现在我终于可以不急不徐地等待我儿子成长,让他把我小时候对世界的好奇一点点都挖掘出来。
我很有心计地在他前行的路上埋下地雷。我把他的大树棍藏在车站站牌下,把他的宝贝葫芦火攻石头藏在学校门前的角落里。
MALL里人山人海。这个词,我现身说法教给他了。我回来以后发现他的中文水平严重下降,而英文练就一口地道新加坡俚语。我打算在未来的日子里慢慢给他扳过来。
儿子要吃麦当劳。被我一口硬拒,我说,带你吃SWENSEN吧!他说,这个不好吃的。我说,你都没吃怎么知道?俩人像模像样地坐下来,点了五球的冰激淋和一个PIZZA。其实我想吃BAKED RICE。但怎奈我无论如何诱惑他,他都不肯屈就,非要吃难吃的PIZZA。作为妈妈,我让他一局。
儿子真是长大了啊!吃饭不要喂了,吃得飞快。
吃完饭,我们路过ARTS CORNER。他要画画。就是用颜色浇在图案上,最终烤箱烤一下变成片片的东西。那东西叫什么呀?
俺幼儿老师的本色发挥得淋漓尽致。无论他怎么糟蹋,台面上多么脏乱差,我都能最后给他修整收拾得干净漂亮。但同志们不要质疑我的审美眼光,这与我毫不相干。我多么希望他弄个跳跳虎,机器猫什么的图案。结果人家选了个“财神到”。我以为他不认识,还问他,这个是什么,老爷爷吗?人不屑地看我一眼说:“财神嘛!”咣当。。。。。。。。
我曾幻想他是梵高莫奈转世,最不济也是米开朗基罗这样的工匠。
真没想到他的未来很有可能走上巴菲特的道儿!
母亲的视金钱如粪土与儿子的视粪土如今钱是多么大的反差!
我对面带一个丫头的DADDY一脸抓狂,马上要跟丫头翻脸了。我赶紧把修理的工具递给他,牙签和棉签棒。他对着牙签奇怪地问:“这个用来干吗?难道给美人鱼掏牙吗?”我示范给他看,让他把边线混淆的颜色一点一点挑出来。
他对着牙签琢磨了一下说:“我去把你妈咪叫来!”
DADDY 和MOMMY真的是有职业分工的。
回家的路上,偶得开始要抱抱。我胳膊不行,抱不动他。
我于是悄悄跟他说:“你可记得刚才妈妈把你的葫芦火攻石头藏哪了?咱们去探宝吧!”小东西不知有诈,一路就这样颠颠地跟我回来了,还特乐呵,老有新发现。
只一顿下午茶,到家时已是夜色阑珊,灯火辉煌。
我家的鞋柜上,现在贴着偶得的“财神到”。
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