童言童语—妈妈,你结婚了吗?
2008年09月30日
1. 早上跟外婆聊天,谈到某某结婚了没。外婆问:XX结婚了吗?我说,结婚了。孩子都六岁了。
儿子在旁边问:“妈妈,你结婚了吗?”
外婆都笑的不行了。
我一本正经答:“妈妈结婚了。妈妈不结婚,你哪来的爸爸啊!”
儿子又问外婆:阿布你结婚了吗?
外婆说,我结婚了啊,不然你哪来的阿呆?
我问:偶得,你结婚了吗?
偶得想了想说:“我没有结婚。我不知道跟谁结婚。”
过了很久,偶得又问我:妈妈,我结婚以后来谁啊?”
我没懂。
他说,你结婚了我来了爸爸,阿布结婚了,我来了阿呆。我结婚了,我来谁啊?
我说,你的爱人啊!你爱的人。
儿子无师自通:哦,爱人。
2. 电视里出个女人,偶得笑着捂嘴说:“好丑。”
阿呆问:你妈妈丑不丑?
偶得愤然:“妈妈很漂亮!”
电视上出现大S,偶得说,好漂亮。
阿呆又问,你妈妈漂亮还是阿姨漂亮?
偶得说,妈妈漂亮。
阿呆见一个女人就问,XX漂亮还是妈妈漂亮。
偶得被问烦了:“妈妈最漂亮!不要问了!”
我终于在一个男人眼里,风华绝代,举世无双。
这是我生儿子的理由。因为有了他,我是世界上无可替代的,唯一的,永远的独特的那一个。
比丈夫强。
3. 偶得把所有的他以为好的东西都是送给妈妈。
他咬过一口的苹果,因为甜,给妈妈尝。
他咬过一口的橄榄,非常好吃,让妈妈吃。
他出门给妈妈拿鞋套上,根据我的的服装判断我要穿什么鞋子,从没搭配错过。当然,错了我也一样穿,除了我儿子,没人关心我应该穿什么。
他在我睡觉的时候,给我盖上肚肚,不要我着凉。
妈妈上网的时候,他只在我周围玩,一会给我送水,一会跟我说话。
所以,他睡觉的时候,我安静坐边上,欣赏他。
4. 小人儿对我要求什么我都是“好”。我承认我特别纵容他。因为我觉得只要是与道德品质无关的事情,我尽量让他快乐。
他说,妈妈,宝宝要看马戏了。
我说好。
他说,宝宝要溜冰。
我说好。
他说,宝宝不要学数学。
我说好。
他说宝宝要吃麦当劳。
我说好。
但之后加一句,一周一次,多了不行。
因为我难得对他说不,所以他从小就知道守规矩。免得那一次都没了。
他搞不清楚时间,最常问我的话是,这个星期过完了没有啊!
气得我不行。跟麦当劳势不两立,不共戴天。
但小人儿对我就没那么慈善。
凡是我提的要求,他都以干脆的“不要”拒绝。
我说,宝宝吃药了。
他说:不要。
我说,宝宝吃饭了。
他说:不要。
我说,宝宝不要在地上乱画。
他说,不要。
我偷笑,说你真乖。妈妈叫你不画你就不画。
他一本正经解释:不要不要在地上乱画。
我说,宝宝回阿布家了。
他说,不要。
有一天,我急着出去见朋友,朋友的车都停在马路边接我们了,他还不肯出门,因为在看电视。我一把把他抱起来,蛮力着走。这是我对偶得的教育生涯里很难见到的事情。
偶得在我肩膀上大声哭闹。
我也怒了,一边扛着他,一边说:“每次你让妈妈做事情,妈妈都说好;每次妈妈要你做事情,你都说不要。你要是这样不合作,从此往后,你跟妈妈说任何事情,妈妈都说不要。我是被逼的!我跟你学的!”
偶得大约是听懂了。
他现在再跟我提要求,就换个方式。
“妈妈,宝宝不要看马戏了。”
我说,好。
他狡黠地说:“你说不要。”
我X!@@##$%ty^……..敢算计我!
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