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童言童语—妈妈，你结婚了吗?

童言童语—妈妈，你结婚了吗?

2008年09月30日

1. 早上跟外婆聊天，谈到某某结婚了没。外婆问：XX结婚了吗?我说，结婚了。孩子都六岁了。

儿子在旁边问：“妈妈，你结婚了吗？”

外婆都笑的不行了。

我一本正经答：“妈妈结婚了。妈妈不结婚，你哪来的爸爸啊!”

儿子又问外婆：阿布你结婚了吗？

外婆说，我结婚了啊，不然你哪来的阿呆？

我问：偶得，你结婚了吗？

偶得想了想说：“我没有结婚。我不知道跟谁结婚。”

过了很久，偶得又问我：妈妈，我结婚以后来谁啊？”

我没懂。

他说，你结婚了我来了爸爸，阿布结婚了，我来了阿呆。我结婚了，我来谁啊？

我说，你的爱人啊！你爱的人。

儿子无师自通：哦，爱人。

　

2. 电视里出个女人，偶得笑着捂嘴说：“好丑。”

阿呆问：你妈妈丑不丑？

偶得愤然：“妈妈很漂亮！”

电视上出现大S，偶得说，好漂亮。

阿呆又问，你妈妈漂亮还是阿姨漂亮？
偶得说，妈妈漂亮。

阿呆见一个女人就问，XX漂亮还是妈妈漂亮。

偶得被问烦了：“妈妈最漂亮！不要问了！”

我终于在一个男人眼里，风华绝代，举世无双。

这是我生儿子的理由。因为有了他，我是世界上无可替代的，唯一的，永远的独特的那一个。

比丈夫强。

　

3. 偶得把所有的他以为好的东西都是送给妈妈。

他咬过一口的苹果，因为甜，给妈妈尝。

他咬过一口的橄榄，非常好吃，让妈妈吃。

他出门给妈妈拿鞋套上，根据我的的服装判断我要穿什么鞋子，从没搭配错过。当然，错了我也一样穿，除了我儿子，没人关心我应该穿什么。

他在我睡觉的时候，给我盖上肚肚，不要我着凉。

妈妈上网的时候，他只在我周围玩，一会给我送水，一会跟我说话。

所以，他睡觉的时候，我安静坐边上，欣赏他。

　

4. 小人儿对我要求什么我都是“好”。我承认我特别纵容他。因为我觉得只要是与道德品质无关的事情，我尽量让他快乐。

他说，妈妈，宝宝要看马戏了。
我说好。

他说，宝宝要溜冰。
我说好。

他说，宝宝不要学数学。
我说好。

他说宝宝要吃麦当劳。
我说好。

但之后加一句，一周一次，多了不行。

因为我难得对他说不，所以他从小就知道守规矩。免得那一次都没了。

他搞不清楚时间，最常问我的话是，这个星期过完了没有啊！

气得我不行。跟麦当劳势不两立，不共戴天。

但小人儿对我就没那么慈善。

凡是我提的要求，他都以干脆的“不要”拒绝。

我说，宝宝吃药了。
他说：不要。

我说，宝宝吃饭了。
他说：不要。

我说，宝宝不要在地上乱画。
他说，不要。
我偷笑，说你真乖。妈妈叫你不画你就不画。

他一本正经解释：不要不要在地上乱画。

我说，宝宝回阿布家了。
他说，不要。

有一天，我急着出去见朋友，朋友的车都停在马路边接我们了，他还不肯出门，因为在看电视。我一把把他抱起来，蛮力着走。这是我对偶得的教育生涯里很难见到的事情。

偶得在我肩膀上大声哭闹。

我也怒了，一边扛着他，一边说：“每次你让妈妈做事情，妈妈都说好；每次妈妈要你做事情，你都说不要。你要是这样不合作，从此往后，你跟妈妈说任何事情，妈妈都说不要。我是被逼的！我跟你学的！”

偶得大约是听懂了。

他现在再跟我提要求，就换个方式。

“妈妈，宝宝不要看马戏了。”
我说，好。

他狡黠地说：“你说不要。”

我X!@@##$%ty^……..敢算计我！

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