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偶得日记

童言童语—妈妈,你结婚了吗?

童言童语—妈妈,你结婚了吗?

2008年09月30日


1. 早上跟外婆聊天,谈到某某结婚了没。外婆问:XX结婚了吗?我说,结婚了。孩子都六岁了。

儿子在旁边问:“妈妈,你结婚了吗?”

外婆都笑的不行了。

我一本正经答:“妈妈结婚了。妈妈不结婚,你哪来的爸爸啊!”

儿子又问外婆:阿布你结婚了吗?

外婆说,我结婚了啊,不然你哪来的阿呆?

我问:偶得,你结婚了吗?

偶得想了想说:“我没有结婚。我不知道跟谁结婚。”

过了很久,偶得又问我:妈妈,我结婚以后来谁啊?”

我没懂。

他说,你结婚了我来了爸爸,阿布结婚了,我来了阿呆。我结婚了,我来谁啊?

我说,你的爱人啊!你爱的人。

儿子无师自通:哦,爱人。

 

2. 电视里出个女人,偶得笑着捂嘴说:“好丑。”

阿呆问:你妈妈丑不丑?

偶得愤然:“妈妈很漂亮!”

电视上出现大S,偶得说,好漂亮。

阿呆又问,你妈妈漂亮还是阿姨漂亮?
偶得说,妈妈漂亮。

阿呆见一个女人就问,XX漂亮还是妈妈漂亮。

偶得被问烦了:“妈妈最漂亮!不要问了!”

我终于在一个男人眼里,风华绝代,举世无双。

这是我生儿子的理由。因为有了他,我是世界上无可替代的,唯一的,永远的独特的那一个。

比丈夫强。

 

3. 偶得把所有的他以为好的东西都是送给妈妈。

他咬过一口的苹果,因为甜,给妈妈尝。

他咬过一口的橄榄,非常好吃,让妈妈吃。

他出门给妈妈拿鞋套上,根据我的的服装判断我要穿什么鞋子,从没搭配错过。当然,错了我也一样穿,除了我儿子,没人关心我应该穿什么。

他在我睡觉的时候,给我盖上肚肚,不要我着凉。

妈妈上网的时候,他只在我周围玩,一会给我送水,一会跟我说话。

所以,他睡觉的时候,我安静坐边上,欣赏他。

 

4. 小人儿对我要求什么我都是“好”。我承认我特别纵容他。因为我觉得只要是与道德品质无关的事情,我尽量让他快乐。

他说,妈妈,宝宝要看马戏了。
我说好。

他说,宝宝要溜冰。
我说好。

他说,宝宝不要学数学。
我说好。

他说宝宝要吃麦当劳。
我说好。

但之后加一句,一周一次,多了不行。

因为我难得对他说不,所以他从小就知道守规矩。免得那一次都没了。

他搞不清楚时间,最常问我的话是,这个星期过完了没有啊!

气得我不行。跟麦当劳势不两立,不共戴天。

但小人儿对我就没那么慈善。

凡是我提的要求,他都以干脆的“不要”拒绝。

我说,宝宝吃药了。
他说:不要。

我说,宝宝吃饭了。
他说:不要。

我说,宝宝不要在地上乱画。
他说,不要。
我偷笑,说你真乖。妈妈叫你不画你就不画。

他一本正经解释:不要不要在地上乱画。

我说,宝宝回阿布家了。
他说,不要。

有一天,我急着出去见朋友,朋友的车都停在马路边接我们了,他还不肯出门,因为在看电视。我一把把他抱起来,蛮力着走。这是我对偶得的教育生涯里很难见到的事情。

偶得在我肩膀上大声哭闹。

我也怒了,一边扛着他,一边说:“每次你让妈妈做事情,妈妈都说好;每次妈妈要你做事情,你都说不要。你要是这样不合作,从此往后,你跟妈妈说任何事情,妈妈都说不要。我是被逼的!我跟你学的!”

偶得大约是听懂了。

他现在再跟我提要求,就换个方式。

“妈妈,宝宝不要看马戏了。”
我说,好。

他狡黠地说:“你说不要。”

我X!@@##$%ty^……..敢算计我!

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