童言童语
2007年011月26日
偶得跟妈妈出门,用手指着前方说:“妈妈,两只警察。”
偶得刚剪了指甲,有一个有一点劈了,偶得自己拽不掉,急了,带着哭腔跑过来给妈妈看:“手骨头!手骨头!”妈妈大笑说:“这叫指甲。”
宝宝自己总结:“宝宝要啃妈妈骨头,要吃奶奶饼,要喝爷爷茶。”可见家里人的形象都印在偶得眼里。妈妈,妈妈,为啥妈妈在儿子心里就是每天啃骨头呢?
爷爷给偶得照相说:“爷爷照相,宝宝嘢!”“嘢”是宝宝照相时候的专有姿势,手指做八状架住下巴,这是舅妈教的。偶得照完,冲爷爷说:“宝宝照相,爷爷嘢!”说完来夺相机,把爷爷吓坏了。
宝宝刚学会走路的时候,不给抱,每天要求下地走,奶奶总说:“宝宝累了,奶奶抱。”宝宝答:“宝宝不累,宝宝走。”
现在宝宝走得非常好了,却不肯下地,动不动就要抱,我们让宝宝自己走,宝宝狡黠一笑说:“鸡鸡累了,奶奶抱。”
说完叉腿给奶奶看。奶奶顿时倾倒。
宝宝拉臭臭,边拉边地头看,自己说:“拉个椭圆形。”奶奶说,再拉一坨,凑个蝴蝶。宝宝努力使尽,实在拉不出,挥挥手说,明天拉另一个翅膀。
宝宝急奔过来,一把拉住我头发,抱住我脸,凑上嘴,一副渴亲状,我赶紧配合地撅起嘴,心里的幸福妙不可言。宝宝张开嘴,把里面咬成渣子的板栗吐我嘴里,吐完了说:“妈妈尝。”恶心得我呀!
妈妈穿上肚皮舞的衣服在WEBCAM前跳肚皮舞给爸爸看,爸爸说,不好看,肚子上的肉太多。宝宝说,妈妈真好蛋!妈妈激动,老公真不如儿子亲。“妈妈哪里好看?”“妈妈大NEI NEI 真好蛋!”这就叫审美差异。我责备老公,你看你的欣赏能力,还不如儿子呢!老公连忙辩解:“他认为好蛋的那部分,我也觉得好蛋。”
妈妈哄宝宝睡觉,反复唱一首歌。宝宝没睡着,妈妈已经着了。奶奶探头问妈妈:“睡着了吗?”宝宝赶紧接口说:“睡着了。奶奶,我把你唱睡着了,我就睡。”说完,冲奶奶勾勾手说:“来来,睡在我身边。”奶奶笑倒。
宝宝学大人说话。“爷爷说什么呀?”“嗯!打!”“阿布说什么呀?”“不要玩钢琴,舅妈骂!”“奶奶说什么呀?”“不听话警察来了!”“妈妈说什么呀?”“妈妈爱宝宝呀!”你们瞧瞧,孩子口中吐真言啊!
宝宝踱方步说:“宝宝牛逼,宝宝牛逼。”妈妈大惊,这么粗野的话,谁教的呀!你就是牛逼,也不能自己夸呀!妈妈赶紧喝止:“宝宝说什么呢?谁教你的?”宝宝说:“爷爷教的。”妈妈质问爷爷:“你教我家宝宝什么呀!你听他说什么?”爷爷听了以后说:“很好啊!宝宝溜冰。”气顿时短了一截,赶紧跟后头夸:“爷爷的溜冰教得真好!宝宝真棒!”没敢招我自己的耳朵有多么地龌龊。
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