中西结合，还是婆媳相争？
来源：人民日报海外版-娱乐专刊 作者：李智勇
日前，在北京人艺小剧场，上演了一部话剧，名字透着新鲜——
就这两天，北京人艺实验剧场上演了这么一部小型话剧。题目很吓人：《中西结合要你命》！记者看到半截，既没有凶杀、暴力，也跟中西文化交流不挨着，讲的是再日常不过的婆媳关系。于是，演出间隙，把制作人拉在一旁，低声询问：“起这么一个名儿，是何道理？”
制作人何佳是个年轻漂亮的姑娘，不问还罢，一问眼睛一闪一闪，还挺得意——“你有没有看过这样一个广告？一个感冒药的：小伙子感冒了，婆婆和媳妇一人拽一胳膊，这个说：‘中药好’，那个说：‘西药快’！谁也不服谁。小伙子胳膊都拉长了，成了橡皮人儿了，一脸无奈地大叫：‘中西结合’……”
噢，“包袱”在这儿呢！别说，这个广告跟剧情还真接近。
故事讲述的是一个东北乡下过来的婆婆和一个上海媳妇之间的矛盾，身兼儿子、丈夫两职的小伙子在这种矛盾中，可算是要了亲命了。向着谁都不行，两头堵还堵不住。婆婆讲节约，恨不得晚上灯都不开，好把钱省下来；媳妇讲格调，一天恨不能换好几套衣服。婆婆讲究男尊女卑，女的要干活；媳妇坐着还嫌累呢，别说干活了……全是鸡毛蒜皮，全是生活琐事，可堆积着堆积着，就成了大矛盾。
老太太刚一进家，给小两口的时尚沙发就铺了一大花被面，说是禁脏。记者背后一小姑娘就嘟囔：“跟我妈一样！——我天通苑那房子都不敢带朋友去！”
“亚平呀，别吃那么多菜，菜是看的，能下饭就行了！”这台词一出口，台底下轰一声，全乐了。
“凭什么煮仨鸡蛋，你吃俩我吃一个呀？”媳妇这口气咽不下去，小伙子变着法地哄，好些个男观众看得直摸头。
戏的诞生很简单，何佳在飞机上看到一本畅销小说《双面胶》，觉得这个要改成电视剧肯定特好，回来一打听，电视剧版权已经卖出去了。正要做罢，有朋友说，那做成小剧场话剧不挺好的？设法筹集了３０万元的资金，大家操作起来，还就成了。
演员除了演婆婆的刘玉环，基本上都是一帮年轻人。制作人何佳研究生毕业刚两年，演“媳妇”的俞蒙今年才２０岁，她和“小姑”都是上海电影艺术学院的学生。执行导演张斌也不到３０岁，已经要算是老人了。
哎，何佳，你刚才说你原来也是演员，怎么想着去做制作人了呢？
“可不，我看着别人演的时候，自己在台下也蠢蠢欲动的。说不定什么时候我也上一把台——不过，女孩子演员多了，女孩子制作人你没见过吧？你老看那长大胡子的了……有美女导演，再多个美女制作人也挺正常呀！”
演出结束，记者随机找了一对老两口，问问感受——大叔大妈，您觉得这戏怎么样？老先生说，我看一般；老太太不同意，俩人说着说着就争起来了。
老先生说得挺专业：“我觉得艺术性还可以再提高。婆媳生活习惯不一样，有矛盾，儿子难做——这个题材不新鲜了。还可以再挖掘些新东西。再一个，表演有点小品化。”
老太太不干了：“你这人就是找别扭！我们是上这儿看戏来了，还是上课来了？我觉得挺生活，挺好，这些事都跟自己亲身经历似的，老百姓才爱看！《贫嘴张大民的幸福生活》不小品化？我看比那些个胡编乱造的电视剧强多了！”
老先生说，“我又没说电视剧……”
小孙子不干了，大声插了一句：“你俩别吵了，要了我的命了！”——嗬！学得挺快，这台词儿给用这儿了！
《人民日报海外版》 (2006-09-22 第13版) 本报记者 李智勇
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