我市侩的婚姻观
Posted: 06-12-2006
我没有女儿,如果我有,我要把自己市侩的婚姻观倾囊相授。
婚姻第一要素是门当户对。这个省却了很多麻烦和口舌,为今后的家庭减少经济纠纷打下坚实基础。虽然我们一直争取“人生而平等”,但现实告诉我们,这是理想的乌托邦,就好象童话里王子总是娶了漂亮公主。人如果生而平等,为什么有些人生下来就穿金带银?而有些人光脚行走?为什么有的国家高福利人民无后顾之忧,而有的国家却什么都没有?你投生的家庭就决定了你的社会地位。低的总想往高处走,但高的却不想往低处流。这其间一定有落差,解决问题最好的办法是减少落差。
婚姻第二要素是观察上人。你的婆婆若与她婆婆相处愉快,与丈夫举案齐眉,这个家庭就进得。若公婆不睦,家庭关系纷杂,这个家庭就不要再多一脚搀和。
婚姻第三要素是选对人物。爱情是激素的产物,据说绚烂如火花般的爱情,乱花迷眼只能持续30个月,只够完成从相识到交配到繁殖的整个过程。要在激素旺盛的时候多瞧瞧30个月以后的生活,俗话叫做“长后眼”,雅话叫做“未雨绸缪”。有妻有子的不要惹,这种男人靠不住。他刚过了30个月的繁殖期,你可别走前任的老路。当然不排除你魅力值超过100,并且驻颜有术,跟长生果似的永保新鲜,不过每个月老被外人从家用里挖出去一块,总归内心不舒服。
离异没孩的可以考虑,但有孩的话最好放缓脚步。你若八面玲珑,三头六臂,精力无穷,喜欢挑战生活新高度,自然没问题,否则还是要三思而后行。正常女人,丈夫外遇加婆媳关系加子女教育加吃穿用度已经压得喘不过气了,你这还给自己增加难题,选个附加题。
婚姻的第四要素是有跑反的能力。在任何时候都要给自己留迅速脱身的门缝。虽然当逃兵是无能的表现,可现在社会都提倡人道主义,对战犯也好,对错误青年也好,都要允许人有基本生存条件。实在抗不过了,一定要留得青山在,日后再收拾。这个能力包括私房钱,独立生存的能力和请得起好律师。
最后,婚姻要求中庸。中庸是个好词,所以在中国盛行良久。太招摇的婚姻总归不长久,没见明星换妻比换衣还勤,时不时还换个花边蕾丝。而太沉沦的婚姻,没吃没穿,贫贱百哀,估计也行不远。中庸最好,既不遭人妒,又不遭人轻。
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