又 梦
昨夜,做了个伤感的梦。
确切地说是今天早晨了。因为我入睡的时候已经是清晨4点半了。
梦里,自己是个未婚的小姑娘,与另一个特别要好的,从小在一起长大的好朋友住一间屋子。而那套公寓的另一间屋子,住着我心仪的男孩。
这个男孩真是怪了。多少次闯进我的梦里,从小到大。我是从小时候4岁左右开始喜欢他,居然现在都三十出头了他还在我梦里心里占据一定的位置,可见我这个人有多么的长情。
我告诉好朋友我喜欢那个男孩,好朋友知道的。
可面对男孩,我什么都说不出来。
后来,有一天,男孩回家,望着窗外晒得整齐的衣服,笑着说,XX替我把衣服晒了。那个XX就是我同屋的好朋友。我醋意地问:“你如何知道是XX而不是我呢?”男孩非常肯定地说:“只有XX会做这样的事情。”
我无言了。我好象的确很不女性,不太知道用什么方法去虏获爱人的心。
好朋友回来以后,又张罗着收衣服烫衣服。
过不了多久,他们两个走到一起了。
我一个人内心苦楚,竟有逃离的想法,不想看见二人钩肩搭背每天在我眼前晃悠。
多次问自己,爱一个人是什么?难道就是为他洗衣做饭?那如果有钱以后雇个保姆不也一样吗?
梦里还得把伤害掩藏起来,当他们的面满不在意。好朋友曾偷偷问我,你不怪我吧?我居然潇洒一甩头说,满世界都是男人,不独这一个,你安心吧!
醒来以后认真想想,为什么自己会有这么古怪的梦。想来是前一向劳工的一句话已经深深刺伤我,只是我面子上并不表现罢了。那次,一群好朋友聚会,大家在一起吃晚餐,桌上4个女人。席毕,劳工指着我手边揉成一团的湿纸巾,笑着说:“你看看你,再看看人家。”
我四下环顾,发现其他三位女士,都将用过的纸巾整齐地折好,有的甚至按照拆封的样子再重新塞回包装袋。
我很羞愧,感觉自己的生活的确乱七八糟,恼羞成怒之下,恨恨地说,满世界都是折纸巾整齐的女子,你为什么偏偏找到我?
劳工笑着说:“因为你是独一无二的。”
于是我便笑开花了。
紧接着,劳工又加一句:“你这样的不好嫁,我若不多担待些,你会成大龄女青年。”
呜呼哀哉。
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