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不浪漫的情人节

 
不浪漫的情人节
 
今天是情人节，到处都闹哄哄的，商店里，大街上，彩带飞舞，玫瑰飘香。五光十色的包装纸绚烂得比玫瑰还抢眼，而怀抱鲜花的姑娘们笑靥比花娇。

下午，家乡的伙伴来家里说请伯母吃饭，我们于是沾光跟着同去同去。我悄下跟朋友说，吃BUFFET，不然婆婆吃不下去，一拿筷子就换成人民币。朋友点头称是。

饭店里一片红通通，进门的女士除了我一身宽松的休闲短打扮，其他都仪态万方，粉黛轻施，婀娜的夜礼服，娇艳的各色玫瑰加满天星。

朋友说，情人节呀，你劳工送你什么礼物？我正色道：不要！都是商家骗人钱的伎俩，坚决不上当，你信不信，如果有需要，如果市场足够大，过两年会出现“二奶节”或者是“欢乐老少配”，因为这两种男女结合形式也是需要大笔银子支撑的。朋友嘘了我一声说，小声点，这么好的点子，搁王海那里，可以卖钱的。

我很可以穿透表象看实质。依我主张，这世界根本不需要庆祝任何节日假日生辰八字。人在哪天生又不是自己定的，而且这东西又不是中大彩般令人惊喜万分。首先是这满世界最少有1640万人是同一天出生，如此大概率事件没什么可喜可贺呀！其次，此生如果无重大疾病无意外伤害，同样的一天至少也得过个六七十回吧？当然2月29日出生的例外。

再说这节啊庆的，除了结婚纪念日，没哪天是我自己选的，母亲节，父亲节，儿童节，劳动节，圣诞节，春节，哪节不是商家赶着敲竹杠的借口？我不要他们牵我鼻子走。我心情好的那天给父母买了礼物便是父母大人节，我自己喜欢的东西又赶上打折了特动心，那天便是我的情人节好了。至于唯一自己选的结婚纪念日，我正来不及后悔着，作为对自己的惩罚，我决定将其划归黑色星期五的行列，假装忘记。不要回回提醒我“无期徒刑第N年”。

我跟希拉里一样把自己归为硬汉行列，每当劳工笑跟人说“我从不给她买礼物，她喜欢什么自己划卡去”，我都力挺“你做得对！”我不要家里充斥着商家硬塞给我的垃圾，包括半凋谢玫瑰一打，小一号的过时皮鞋一双，儿童用背包一个，还没穿就掉一颗扣子的性感内衣一件。因为本来就只有一颗扣子，因此我到现在都没明白那突然坠落的扣子算不算商家买一送一的阴谋。

我结婚了，需要的是柴米油盐，房子，汽车和现金。浪漫，还有爱情，那些离浪费近些，离节衣缩食远些的字，不要硬挤进我的生活词典。

如果你问我目前我能想到的最浪漫的事，我仔细想一想，会露出无限神往的表情告诉你——那应该是中1000万的大彩。在我双手颤抖着一手捧着身份证，一手攥着彩票，多哆嗦嗦地站在银行数钞机前面的一刻，那该是多么的浪漫呀~~~~~~~！

我的心，已经被商业社会打造得比金刚石还硬，什么柔情都不能把我淹没。

不过，看着满街花团锦簇，心里还是略有楚意。

回到家里，打开电脑，收到一份匿名的邮件。

“HAPPY VALENTINE！”
粉红的英文字母如含羞的少女，排列成好看的心形，后面缀着长长长长的艳丽玫瑰，看不到底。

笑一笑，意外收获。关上邮件。

突然想起，无论那个发信的人是谁，他一定很有心。万一某日某人问起，知道我送你多少朵玫瑰吗？我如何应对？

赶紧再打开邮件，耐心数了一遍。

101。

再笑笑，这家伙，粗心得很，随手多打了一个。反正电子的，不花钞票，我就替他假装送我100朵整吧！念在他还惦记着我，不予计较。

晚上看见苇儿，笑着问我，今天有没有绅士送花给你？

我说，有，无名氏。100朵。

苇儿说，不对，应该是101朵呀！

我惊叫！呀！你怎么知道？你发来的？

她说，你笨呀，学习坛规不认真，老大曾经发过一篇不同玫瑰代表不同的心的文章，你没有认真学习，判你期考FAIL。

我赶紧补考。

101朵玫瑰后面写着

最。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。最爱你。

泪盈。

我知道，一定是你。

只有你。

“不浪漫的情人节”上的195条回复

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