教育的偏差
说起教育，人人都有一套理论，不过实践起来，我们就会发现有偏差。
以我家猫猫为载体，我与劳工各自实践了一下自己的理论，现写出实践报告。
猫猫改不了的坏毛病，随地大小便。我称之为随心所欲排，恶意放纵自己。比方讲，头天在我床上尿过，刚把一套被单床垫洗了，第二天又恶习不改，罪行重演。我可以原谅他第一次的无心之失，但对再一再二我不能容忍。
劳工于是得意地说，看，我早告诉你了，对待小孩要实行法制。这个法，就是韩非子的“法”，太仁慈了会造成错觉，引起秩序的混乱，对这小东西，不上酷刑是不解决问题的。
我原本坚决反对体罚，因为我觉得体罚是治表不治本，好没两天，伤疤愈合了，疼也不记得了，关键是要懂得道理。最终同意劳工实行满清十大酷刑，是因为最近拜访我家的朋友普遍反映我家有一股尿味，再加上被猫猫拖得满地的报纸，这种脏乱差，不整顿是不行了。
另一个没有规矩的现象，我和劳工都没意识到，却被朋友发现，将我们痛批一顿，造成了我们心灵的伤害。朋友上家吃饭，发现我和劳工都习惯性将饭碗举到头顶，迅速吃一口，再举到头顶，而桌面上，猫猫焦躁地踱步，非常不满地冲我们大叫。朋友说：“这象什么样子！？一点规矩都没有！哪有人猫同桌的？猫不打真要上你家房顶揭瓦了。”我还替猫猫辩解说：“你来了，我们俩才是这个姿势吃饭，是不太雅观。但平时我们不这样吃的，都是他看着猫，我先吃，然后我看着猫，他再吃，猫猫平时没机会上桌的。”
朋友最后的结论是，通常父母都看不见自己孩子身上的缺点，就一个字——宠；就俩字——太宠；就仨字——宠坏了！
我不能让这只猫丢我们这个教育世家的脸，我于是闭上眼睛，皱着眉头，下定决心，告诉劳工：“你打！”
劳工开始了红脸严父的生涯。猫猫如果不在规定场所给排水，劳工会先揪着他脖子，将他拖到犯罪现场，先举证，指着那滩尿渍大声呵斥：“你看你看！你又乱尿！这是哪个小瘪三干的？！是哪个臭臭把我家搞得乌烟瘴气？！”然后在猫猫屁股上猛拍两巴掌，引出一片哀号，一松手，猫猫如丧家之狗满屋乱逃。劳工不依不饶，穷追猛打，再次搬动沙发，移出书架，或将已经凸起的便便大腹硬塞进床底下，揪出肇事猫，再提到正确的排泄位置上，点着小家伙的脑袋说：“尿这里！知道不知道？长不长记性？！”
劳工对猫猫围追堵截的时候，我通常都不闻不问。我不能看那火暴的战斗场面，也不能直视猫咪求饶的眼神。据说教育第一原则就是一致性，绝对不能一个打一个护，痛也要放在心里面。我于是将门关起来，不听外面的喧闹。
尽管有我铁了心的配合，好象效果并不怎么太好。后来的结果是，猫猫似乎更加不知所措，不晓得哪里是他应该去的地方。以前也就固定那么几个地点，循味过去总能找到痕迹，现在不行了，我们得费老鼻子劲儿搬床，搬沙发，侦察手段更加原始，全凭嗅觉和风向。某日风向一变，我和劳工便会不约而同地抽着鼻子趴在地下搜寻那股熟悉地味道来自陌生的场所。我嘲笑他说，我们家现在是一只猫和两只狗的共同生活。
更糟糕的是，猫猫不记得尿盆的位置，却记得对他施暴的人。现在一看到劳工，哧溜一下就钻没影了，或者是一尿完就找一个安全的地方躲起来一声不吭，害我们到处找他。
我于是非常得意地登场，要劳工看看为什么孔子的“仁”字可以贯穿中国历史几千年。孔子的中心思想是个“仁”，教育要以爱为核心，采取鼓励的方法，因材施教。先给劳工失败的机会，才能衬托出我成功的不易，以实际教育成果向他昭示谁是这个家的真正教育人才。
我最擅长的是软语相劝。我开始非常亲昵地称呼他“宝~~~~~~！”这样的昵称让这一向饱受老拳的猫猫通体舒畅，只要我唤一声：“宝~~~~~~~~~~！”猫猫便会踮着猫步非常轻柔地跃上我的膝盖，闭着眼睛任我搔弄他的下巴。我于是在他选定最舒服的姿势以后开始教育：“宝啊！我家的乖宝宝，大便入盆，小便入池，知不知道？”宝于是乖巧地答：“道~~~！”
宝宝最喜欢的食物是带奶油的蛋糕。我将这食物作为奖励他的法宝。如果他非常恰当地去对了位置，我会在他的便盆旁放一小块蛋糕。
猫猫明显进步了，入盆的次数比以前多得多。
不过宝有时候脑袋瓜还没转明白过来，不太明白什么时候可以得到他心爱的蛋糕糕，根据他的逻辑，应该是往尿盆里一坐，蛋糕糕就会来到。
于是宝这两天很多时候都赖在尿盆里，扯着脖子冲我嗷嗷叫，让我忍不住大笑，因为就在旁边咫尺的地方，明显躺着一泡金灿灿的尿。
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