酒后的男人比较可爱
今天晚上劳工的酒友来我家,和他一起喝了1斤半白酒。平均一人7两五,但劳工自己主动承认最少喝了8两,因为每次倒酒都多给自己倒一点点。
酒后的劳工面色红艳艳。我因为不放心另个醉鬼,坚持送他回家。好在他家就在我家附近,深夜12点送他穿条马路就到了。
两个醉鬼摇晃着走,象喜剧片里的人一样走不成直线。笑容都很灿烂,一种满足感漾在脸上,无论你开他们什么玩笑他们都不会恼。
“今晚JIA YI不在,不然你要做禽兽了。”我说那个未婚的男人,他要结婚了,JIA YI 是他的未来夫人。他晚上喝酒的时候说,去年他与准夫人去香港旅游一周,共住一间却互不侵犯。他说的我信,因为他夫人是那种很老派的姑娘,而很多新加坡本地男女都保持着中国改革开放前的古朴。新加坡男人都是受过军训的,很能约束自己的行为。我教育他说,也许JIA YI恨你了,因为男人真如此循规蹈矩,女人要恨的。顺便跟他讲了个笑话,说的是男女同居一床,女的在中间划条线,说,过界的是禽兽。男人坚决忍耐,不当禽兽。早晨被女人一巴掌煽起来,非常恼怒地说:“你禽兽不如!”遂过界。他很诧异地张着嘴说,女人真会这样想吗?那我以后要鼓起勇气了。
那酒鬼又笑笑说,你根本不懂,男人现在这个状态,只能是禽兽不如,有心无力的。不信问你劳工。我劳工眦牙一笑说:“我无心。”
穿马路前,酒鬼突然立正,晃晃脑袋说,“要清醒些,我今年保险费还没交,我妈等我养老,这个月28号我还要拍结婚照。我等没车的时候才穿。”我笑推他,说根本没车啊,赶紧穿!过了马路,那酒鬼站在电梯前,按开电梯,冲我们挥挥手,说,再见。
我们也说再见。
他一直按着电梯冲我们笑,却不进。我以为他要跟我们说什么,便等。突然他说:“我手酸了,你们怎么还不上去?”我楞了,说,太晚了,我们就送你到门口,不上去了。他也楞了,半天才说:“对不起,我以为我在送你们回家。”我差点没笑晕在他面前。
电梯一上升,劳工突然从后面很粗鲁地一把抱着我,掐着我的脖子扭过我的头狂吻我。
很好闻的酒气。五粮液真不是盖的。很有热力。
一路被他狂吻回去,感觉路很漫长,脖子也被拉得很长。
回家以后他笑咪咪地歪在沙发上喝我恭敬奉上的热茶。我指着他脑门说你要死,一晚上喝掉我60块的白酒,从明天起你要卖身卖力还债。他说,好,酒债肉偿,大不了我去芽笼插根草,大约两天就赚回来了。我拧着他耳朵说,哪个叫你去芽笼卖?你在家里当长工就好,每次扣两块。
等我洗完碗,收拾完厨房,将所有菜打包放好,将湿抹布挂起来,兴冲冲跑到沙发上等他还债的时候——
那个男人已经微鼾。
吻吻他发烧的红脸蛋,亲爱的,今天晚上我放一回高利贷,利息100%。
“酒后的男人比较可爱”上的186条回复
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