ERIC的妈妈昨天带ERIC去看俄罗斯马戏团的演出。
今天早上我看见ERIC,问他都看到了什么。他告诉我有大象过桥,小狗钻火圈,空中飞人,满脸的兴奋,说得我也激动起来,后悔自己没一起去看。我最后问他,你最喜欢什么?他想了一下,说,我喜欢小丑。
我诧异,一个才5岁的孩子,那么多的动物都无法吸引他的注意力?为什么会喜欢小丑?
说到小丑,ERIC的脸上满是笑容,他说,小丑很FUNNY,他有滑稽的鼻子滑稽的裤子滑稽的鞋子,他常常跌倒,他打不过猴子,连小狗都可以骗他,他逗我发笑。
以前,我听过一首歌,凌峰的,歌名就是小丑。意思是,人前欢笑,哪怕背后忧伤,将我生命中最精彩的一刻,呈 现给你。看到孩子的欢乐,我理解了这首歌。
小丑是这样一种职业,他总在贬低自己,他总在人前表现失败,他总是很愚拙,他总是叫人发笑叫人叹息。
做小丑的人要有胸怀,敢于拿自己作为失败的榜样,敢于叫人砸着鸡蛋,捧腹大笑后,擦擦身上的蛋清报以憨厚的笑容。也许身上淤青,也许心中有泪,却被浓郁的化妆掩盖,被五彩的衣服遮挡。如果那一刻,看台上的人们有一瞬间的欢笑进而满足,小丑就算完成了任务。
中国人很看不起小丑,有个明显的贬义词就叫“跳梁小丑”,说这个词的人满脸不屑,而且要表现出自己的不入俗套或看不起那台上表演的以显示自己的清洁。仿佛是,我是不会做这样的事的,我是冷眼旁观。
而我有时候想,我如果是那个冷眼旁观的,并从鼻子里蔑然挤出个哼,并不显得我比小丑就高洁了多少,只是我很善于将自己失败的一面掩盖。我还可以怜悯那个在台上蹦弹的,你有什么呀,拿自己取乐,博人家欢笑。
现在马戏团越来越少了,小丑这个职业也许会和很多职业一样消失了。那滑稽的图片,最终有一天我们只能在历史资料里看见。很多瑰宝我们从书本中可以找到,很多我们轻蔑的,不以为意的,觉得不值一提的,就此悄悄退隐,也许再不能从任何角落里看到那种癍迹,连历史资料里我们也会非常吝啬地不给小丑留下一笔。
小丑跑下舞台后,黯然卸妆,以过往的沧桑和宽容的胸怀摇摇头,说,没关系,我不在意。曾经有那么一刻,有一群人喜欢过我,就足够了。
看见ERIC的笑,和发自内心的欢喜,我想,我愿意,做那个小丑,活在孩子5岁的记忆里。
“我喜欢小丑”上的148条回复
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