女人不如电脑好管理
老公不知从哪里弄来了“古龙群虾转”的游戏,正打的起劲。通常这个时候我就是家里的答应和常在了。他惟一的遗憾是老婆不够冰雪聪明,总记不住那祥龙18掌的招式。他心目中的爱人应该是黄蓉,娇小而聪慧。好在勤能补拙,以我勤勤恳恳任劳任怨,适时地端茶倒水推肩按摩,纵然比不上黄蓉,他凑合着用个傻姑也知足了。
刚才我又犯错误了,因为画错了八卦图,(据说通关要用的)被他压在床上暴扁!说我除了卖弄啥都不懂,以为我专家呢!因为上次跟他解释“否极泰来”是从易经上某某得来,否是下下卦,坏到极点,泰是上上卦,时来运转,两卦在图上是相连的,把他唬的一楞一楞的。
先生对我的心理优势从开头就铸就了。我笨的不行,对数学尤不敏感,某次去市场买鸡蛋,老太太说,三毛八一个,共17个,你都买了吧,我傻站了10几分钟,因为没算清多少,楞是没买,遂将晚上的韭菜炒鸡蛋改为韭菜炒芽菜。他是学数学的,我一看他往纸上画那些罗马符号就激动到情不自已,仰慕之情溢于言表,心想这辈子买菜可算有靠山了。他在家只要坐桌子前画两笔,不管有用没用,我见是有字的纸我就收着,万一不小心把他的卓越思想给扔垃圾箱了,那不是破坏他的思考?有人曾问我为什么喜欢一个小眼睛,大嘴巴,容貌模糊不清的男人,其实,他不问,我根本没注意到每天蛰伏在我身边的这个男人居然相貌URGLY,我只看见他那绝顶聪明的脑袋瓜了。
我做事情没条理,喜欢一趟趟空跑,若是不巧中间打岔开始说话,手里的活就彻底停了,这在搞优化的数学家眼里是无法容忍的,他特地给我订了个改造计划,优化程序如下:
起床–出卧室的时候带着垃圾桶去厨房–把火打开烧水,顺便丢鸡蛋进去煮–刷牙洗脸上厕所–拿着碗去冰箱倒牛奶–微波炉热奶,顺便关旁边灶的火–冲水,记得把鸡蛋捞出来–剥完蛋壳去餐桌的时候一定要端着奶。
他比我这种叙述高明多了,他是做了个图表,用以前学物理的时候串联并联的模式画的。
我清醒的时候试过几次,的确管用,省了平常一半的时间,惟一的麻烦是记性不好,万一睡到迷迷糊糊的时候爬起来,出了厕所站在碗橱前张着嘴不知道要干什么,特地蓬头垢面地跑回卧室摇他:“老公啊,出了厕所后面的程序是什么啊?”
由此他推导的公理是:女人不如电脑好管理。
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