东海仙子: 冰花诗一首英译（井）OK

冰花诗一首英译（井）井
The Well

By Rose Lu(Binghua) Tr. East Sea Fairy
 
一朵愁云
A cloud of sorrow
在岁月里疯长
Grows madly in time
终于坠落井底
And finally falls down into a well
 
月圆的夜里
On a full-moon night
一串气泡冒出
A string of bubbles bubbles up
水  漆黑如墨
The water, is as black as ink
痛  涨溢井口
And the pains overflow the brim
 
一位男人
A man
用温柔的目光
Takes her out of the well
把她捞起
With his tender look
把井填上
And fills it with gravel
 
教堂的钟声响过
Tolls the church bell
一朵粉红色的花绽放
Then a pink flower bursts into bloom,
绿藤  在井边缠绕
And a green vine creeps around the well.
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_3f4024480102ebrg.html

修改后：

The Well


By Rose Lu (Bing hua ) Tr. East Sea Fairy


A sorrowful cloud
Grows madly in time
Finally falls into a well


On a full moon night
A string of bubbles rises up
The water
Black as ink
Along with the pains overflow

A man
With a tender gaze
Scoops her out of the well
And fills it with gravel

As the church bell tolls
A pink flower bursts into bloom
And a green vine creeps around the well


http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_3f4024480102ebrg.html
[ 此帖被冰花在02-28-2014 17:55重新编辑 ]
冰花诗一首英译（井）井
The Well

修改后：

冰花诗一首英译（井）井
The Well


By Rose Lu (Bing hua) Tr. East Sea Fairy

一朵愁云
A sorrowful cloud
在岁月里疯长
Grows madly in time
终于坠落井底
Finally falls into a well

月圆的夜里
On a full moon night
一串气泡冒出
A string of bubbles rises up
水  漆黑如墨
The water, black as ink
痛  涨溢井口
Along with the pains overflow

一位男人
A man
用温柔的目光
With a tender gaze
把她捞起
Scoops her out of the well

把井填上
And fills it with gravel

教堂的钟声响过
As the church bell tolls
一朵粉红色的花绽放
A pink flower bursts into bloom
绿藤  在井边缠绕
And a green vine creeps around the well

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_3f4024480102ebrg.html
[ 此帖被冰花在02-28-2014 17:55重新编辑 ]
冰花诗一首英译（井）井
The Well

The Well

By Rose Lu (Bing hua) Tr. East Sea Fairy

A cloud of sorrow
Grows madly in time
And finally falls down into a well

On a full-moon night
A string of bubbles bubbles up
The water, is as black as ink
And the pains overflow the brim

A man
Takes her out of the well
With his tender look
And fills it with gravel

Tolls the church bell
Then a pink flower bursts into bloom,
And a green vine creeps around the well.


http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_3f4024480102ebrg.html