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主题 : Actual Lines from Resumes
arthur 离线
级别: 军区司令员

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楼主  发表于: 2009-09-24   
来源于 转帖 分类

Actual Lines from Resumes

I am very detail-oreinted.

My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.

Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!

Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume.

It's best for employers that I not work with people.

Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated.

If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.

My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job." And I like your company in particular.

You hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate!

I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt.

Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.

Please disregard the attached resume -- it is terribly out of date.

Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.

Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.

Previous experience: Self-employed--a fiasco.

Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business.

My experience in horticulture is well-rooted.

Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years.

I am a rabid typist.

Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984.

I have a bachelorette degree in computers.

Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.

Graduated in the top 66% of my class.

Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.

Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.

Special skills: Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes.

I worked as a Corporate Lesion.

Special Skills: Speak English.

Served as assistant sore manager.

Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job.

Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.

Education: B.A. in Loberal Arts.

Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis
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盛夏 离线
级别: 论坛版主

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地下室  发表于: 2009-09-25   
布衣素颜,也可以闪闪发光。
lili 离线
级别: 论坛版主

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地板  发表于: 2009-09-24   
Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.    
Ling1984 离线
级别: 论坛版主

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板凳  发表于: 2009-09-24   
    Funny!
jasmine 离线
级别: 论坛版主
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沙发  发表于: 2009-09-24   
"Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job. "     

Oh God, I guess that's everywhere.     
很报歉, 我因为基本不用 “好友” 功能, 又不想引起误会, 所以把所有的 existing  好友都删了。 如果有事, 请短信我, 谢谢。
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