1. Little Johnny & the Devil
A Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?"
"No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
2. 911
911 Call: A man called 911 and spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the dispatcher asked.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
