网上看到几个爆笑的英文笑话，都是讲夫妻之间的。笑毁我了，拿来共享。 I_h8)W
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JOKE 1 D bL=2
Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day. "b#L8kN
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily. McXid~
老公一天到晚看报纸，老婆抱怨：我真希望我是那张报纸，这样我就可以被你整天捧在手心。 X AnN<
老公：我也希望如此，这样的话我就能每天都换一个新老婆。 B\tP{}P8{
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JOKE 2 gGtl*9a=
A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? SF 7p/gG
The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!! Y NRorE
小男孩问他老爸：结个婚要花多少钱啊？ 52zD!(
他老爸答：儿子啊，我也不知道啊，我只知道我直到现在还在花…… m$w'`[H
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JOKE 3 U}=o3 u
At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing? "1#piJ
The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!! F$!K/Mm[
Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you P: p@Ie p
大半夜的，老爹看到他结了婚的儿子要离家出走……他问：你要干啥？ aYmC LLj
儿子答：老爸，我厌倦透了我生活！我的新婚生活并不美满，我老婆和我老妈成天干仗，我还必须给我老婆买所有的单，我恨我的生活！！！我想离这儿远远儿的，我要去品味生活的乐趣，我想去拥抱生活的乐趣！！！ O6P{+xj$
老爸答：等等！！！我跟你一块儿走！！！！！！！ pyf/%9R:d
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JOKE 4 NI1jJfH|l
A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. O.9r'n4f
The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you? &B;M.sz~C4
The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!! ;I#f:UQ
The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip? U|NVDuo{{x
The wife: Very good, thank you. L^7"I 4=(D
The husband: And, what happened to my present? }8zw| (GR,
The wife: Which present? >~D-\,d|f
The husband: What I asked for: the English girl? 'f?
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The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!! V>Zw" #Q
某女人去英国参加一个为期两周的公司培训。她老公把她送到机场并祝她出差愉快。女人问：那你想让我给你带点啥回来？ b/yXE)3
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老公：带个英国妞儿！！ Hxw 7Q?F
女人啥也没说上了飞机。两周后老公又去机场接她：亲爱滴，玩得好不？ C5
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老婆：八错八错，谢谢啊。 AJ:(N V1=
老公：那我的礼物呢？ ) -RI
老婆：啥礼物？ {dbPMx
老公：就是我要的英国妞儿啊！！ WZ3GI
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老婆：哦，这个礼物啊！嗯，我已经竭尽所能了，现在要做的就是再等几个月看看是不是个女孩…… 4"=(kC~~
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JOKE 5 }H>
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A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn 't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for? " The husband replies, "autumn. " ?xb4y=P7
一对情侣去美术馆。在那里他们看见了一幅裸女的照片，裸女只在隐私部位遮了几片叶子。老婆不喜欢，走开了。可是老公还在看，老婆问：咋还不走捏？等啥呢？ >=WlrmI
老公：等秋天来。 \?|FB~.R y
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JOKE 6 tlz+ !>
A man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan. "What the hell was that for? " he asks. "That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name Mary Ellen written on it, " she replies. Don 't be silly, " he says. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on. " She seems satisfied at this, and she apologizes. Three days later he 's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes around, he asks again, "What the hell was that for? " "Your fucking horse just phoned. " 1&wI*4
一个男人看报纸，他老婆绕到他背后拿着煎锅，狠狠敲了他的头。 t3w:!' Ato
“tmd咋地了？” p ow.@
“你裤兜里有张纸条，上面写着一个女人底名字：Mary Ellen!!!” ~0^d-,ZD5
“别犯傻了，两周前我去赛马，Mary Ellen是我赌的那匹马的名字！！” $O)fHD'
老婆很满意这个回答，并跟老公郑重道歉。 o\ M
三天后，男人再次被一个更大的煎锅狠狠敲了头。 0fpxr`
“又tmd咋地了？” N
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“你tmd的赌的那匹马刚才打电话给你了。” I 'qIc ?
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JOKE 7 5d4/}o}%"
Wife to husband: you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss. l-} );zH74
Husband: piss on him! mfI>1W(
Wife: you did and he fired you! :'F7^
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Husband: fuck him! '/ >7pB
Wife: I did and you can go back to work tomorrow. 7a<-}>sU
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JOKE 8 8,l~e8 &
A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence. Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours? " "Yep, " the husband replied, "in-laws ". q#mw#Uw-
这个我觉得最逗，很有王朔的无赖范儿，很耍贫。 (P M!{u=
