-- If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
-- Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.
-- The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.
-- Avenge yourself -- live long enough to be a problem to your children.
-- The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~ and hide the keys to the car.
-- Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.
-- The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.
-- Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car.
-- Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
-- Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.
-- There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.
-- Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.
-- Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
-- Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.
-- Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.
-- An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.
