不能倒带的人生
来源:广州日报 B6:每日连载 作者:六六 2013年11月29日
和朋友聊起现在的女孩,正当年的女孩,唏嘘感叹不已。她的侄女花样年华,本科毕业,貌美如花,各方面条件很突出,却嫁给了一个其貌不扬的四十岁男人,只因对方事业略有小成,有房有车。她父母伤心欲绝,而她说:“这是我的选择,跟了他,我少奋斗二十年。”
我们与这代人,年龄差距十五年都不到,这十五年是怎样的天翻地覆,乾坤颠倒?我们那一代人的大多数都可以在理想与现实之间,永远追随理想的脚步。
我记得在我上大学的时候,某中年成功男士开着小车到学校找我,我那个羞愤难当啊!觉得他在侮辱我的能力,侮辱我的人格。当时的世界对我敞开所有大门,你以为你有两个臭钱就能买断我的未来吗?就能掐灭我无限的可能吗?
不到十五年的时间,我已然用自己的双手拥抱世界,而那个男人,我不知道他在合肥的什么角落。但有一点我是知道的,我正值自己最美妙的年华,而他已经老了。这个世界正如我所料,它是我的。
朋友说,现在的女孩子,在周末有人开车来接,是一种荣耀,她们的价值,体现在车的等级上。
我但愿这只是极少数的女孩,我但愿现在所有的女孩依然怀有梦想。孩子们啊,你们傻不傻啊!二十岁的年纪,你想要这个世界是圆的就是圆的,你想要这个世界是方的就是方的,为什么要把自己勾勒天空的笔就这样随手丢掉?你甚至没有机会去见识世界的美妙与精彩,奋斗的波澜壮阔,就收起翅膀在家变成一只笼养的鸟。万一有一天,这个笼子不在了,你连基本的谋生技能都没有,你打算靠什么生活?
我对人的理解:首先Ta是理想主义者,其次Ta是乐观主义者。有了这两个主义,这个世界才不断进步,每天都在革新。要相信自己有创造幸福、选择幸福、把握幸福的能力,这就是相信自己。你连自己都不相信,如何能够相信一个剥夺你未来的人?
我不care男人,我只care女人。我对所有的女人说,不要把自己的青春拿去殉葬。那些中年男人在有条件以后,寻找所谓的爱情,其实是在找补他们失意的青春。他在年轻的时候、奋斗的时候没有享受的快乐,要用你的青春去补偿。他在用金钱、房子和车,去买你宝贵的十几年的黄金时代。
我们拥有的财富,我们并不知道。你问问巴菲特,愿意用他手里的100亿买20年的青春吗?他肯定愿意。在他这个年纪上,他一定觉得时间比财富重要得多。因为时间对他无多了,是可数的。所以,你口袋里揣着100亿,你并不知道。
巴菲特有一段话,我摘出来与美妙的女子分享,他说,这是一定的,你这一生,一定有机会得到一辆车,一所房子,但人生只有一次,你选择怎样的人生到终老才不后悔呢?要过得值得。所以,在你选择人生的时候,要小心。因为人生只有一次机会,不能倒带。平盛世,能有机会坐下来安静地讨论婚姻的事,本身,就是我们的幸运。一念放下,万般自在。
(本文选自由长江文艺出版社出版的《女不强大天不容》)
http://gzdaily.dayoo.com/html/2013-11/29/content_2466759.htm
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