分类
偶得日记

变！变！变！

变！变！变！

2009年07月02日

1.和偶得玩变变变的游戏。

他假装手里拿了一根魔棒，嘴巴里喊：“变！变！变！”我无论在做什么，立刻变雕塑状，表情夸张地僵持。有时候是拿着叉子张嘴，保持食物往里送的姿势，有的时候是走路刚迈一只脚还没落地，有的时候是喝水喝一半，任由水从杯子里倾斜流到衣服上，总之就是被石化了。

他特别爱玩这个游戏。等他再喊：“变变变！”的时候，我才可以恢复正常的活动。

他玩这个乐此不疲，经常是不停地挥舞他的假象魔术棒，让我在一分钟之内解冻又上冻N次。

有时候弄烦了，就不搭理他了。

他会奇怪地看看手里空空如也的棒子，问我：“怎么回事呀？魔法不灵了？”

我笑嘻嘻地答：“没电了嘛！遥控器不灵了。”（原来魔法棒就是巫师的遥控器啊！）

偶得着急地问：“哪里有电池呀！哪里有电池呀！”

我说：“这个是新能源，用电池不好，对环境有污染，这个是太阳能的。你亲我一下，阳光下面晒晒，电就有了。”

偶得于是心甘情愿跑过来跟我亲嘴巴。我再伸个懒腰陪他玩。（明显是占人便宜嘛！）

2.昨天中午他午睡，我们在不同的房间。他要跟奶奶玩变变变，奶奶不会玩，或者说玩得不如我逼真，他觉得兴意阑珊，不跟奶奶玩了，就自己玩变变变。他自己喊，自己变。

我听了觉得好笑，就跑过去看。

他冲腿喊：“变变变！”腿翘起来不动，再喊，腿又放下。

最后他创意地喊：“变变变！偶得没有了！”

我走过去，捏捏他的腿说，偶得没有了，这是什么?他说，这是我的腿。

我捏捏他的脸蛋，说，这是什么？他说，这是我的脸。

我再捏捏他耳朵，说，这是什么？他说，这是我的耳朵。

我说，你什么都在，偶得怎么会没有了呢？

偶得眼珠转转说：“我的脑子飞走了嘛！现在跟你说话的是我的嘴巴，不是脑子啊！”（我以前告诉他，说话要经过大脑的，人其实是用脑子说话，嘴巴是表现工具。）

我哈哈大笑，英文的ABSENT-MINDED就是这个意思吧？
　

3.刚才我上网，他推门进来说：“妈妈，我要尿尿！”我说，你尿啊！他说，你陪我嘛，因为我怕MONSTER把我吃掉。

我正看啥文章起劲，就不想动，就说，你先进去，如果MONSTER把你吃掉了，我就去救你。

他问：“我都吃掉了，你怎么救？”

我说：“我去拿把刀，把MONSTER的肚子打开，把你救出来。”

偶得说：“不行的！刀会割到我的！”

我说：“以前你在我肚子里的时候，医生不是拿刀把你割出来的，也没伤到你呀！”

偶得突然恍然大悟地说：“原来MONSTER就是你呀！”

我哈哈大笑说：“没关系，我是好MONSTER。是你朋友的MONSTER。”

偶得自己尿尿，问：“你怎么还没有来陪我？”

我说：“因为你没被MONSTER吃掉啊！”

他说：“我已经被吃掉了！你快来救我呀！”

我说：“你等着，我去拿刀啊！”其实身体动都没动。

他问：“你的刀拿了没有啊？”

我说：“路途遥远，我的马跑得不够快，要很久的。”

偶得说：“厨房里就有啊！你去呀！”

我说：“不行的，杀MONSTER要青龙偃月辟邪刀，要去西天取的！”依旧不动身子。（真沉啊！）

偶得自己终于忍不住了，提了裤子跑出门去。

我喊：“你不是被MONSTER吃掉了吗，怎么自己跑出来了？”

他说：“你太慢了嘛！我自己拿起球把MONSTER屁股给打烂跑出来了。”头也不回就走了。

你瞧，天下哪有救世主？更没有神仙皇帝，亲娘也靠不住。最终还要展开自救。

哈哈哈哈！

这小日子过得，真爽啊！

　

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