从《蜗居》—-谈男女之情
来源:新浪所向披靡115的博客 作者:所向披靡115 2009年08月11日
前几天妻子推荐我看电视剧《蜗居》,我以为又是描写小青年恋爱的事呢,就没放在心上,周末随便看了一集,感觉不错,就在网上找来一股气看完,真是一部不错的电视剧。
《蜗居》描述非常写实,没有把人物脸谱化、模式化,而是把每个人当作真人来写,体现出了人性的复杂,它以写实的手法含蓄而又辛辣的讽刺了很多社会现象,这里只谈男女之情。
一、《蜗居》
1、对大多数女人来说,光有爱情是不够的:
女主角海藻在两个男人中左右逢源,初恋情人小贝象征爱情,中年官员宋秘书象征着权利和财富,最终海藻选择了财富,但过程写的非常合情合理,符合人性,女主角海藻的心理变化非常有代表性,也许有些女孩不同意这种看法,但那是因为很多女孩不是足够漂亮,或者说没有遇到足够的诱惑,或者说没有相应的机遇,真正能够靠理性抵御诱惑的女孩很少很少,尤其是在传统文化沦落的今天。
海藻的姐姐海萍,看似还能做到“君子固穷”,但实际她却是一切事件的导火索,如果她不和妹妹借钱(不接受妹妹情人的钱),如果她坚决不住妹妹情人的房子,如果她没有妹妹情人提供的家教工作,如果没有妹妹情人提供的律师帮助,她的生活和婚姻也是后果不堪设想。
这个社会的可悲之处也在于此:对于穷人和普通老百姓的一个天大的事,对于有钱优势的人,只不过是举手之劳。
2、女人天真的眼神,藏着冷酷的针:
看似天真无邪的女孩海藻,在两个男人面前逢场作戏,甚至和情人开着黄色的笑话,与情人在床上调情的同时,还能从容的在电话里和即将结婚的“小贝”撒谎,但从电视里看,相信很多人都觉得这个女孩并不坏,我认为这只是男女性别的不同,虽然大家一致说男女平等,但实际这是不可能的,因为男女心理、性格、身体均不相同,就以男女之情来说,男人是“征服欲”,女人是“被征服心理”,就如同中国古代官员与外国人开的那个玩笑一样:一个茶壶可以配几个茶碗,但你见过一个茶碗配几个茶壶的吗?
我们先圣孔子曾说:唯女人与小人难养也。这句话不管遭到多少人的痛批,但我还是要告诉你:圣人的话不是随便说的。象桃园三结义、伯牙子期的兄弟情谊,很难在女人中出现,但这并不能说女人坏,这是男女性格造成的,严格的说,这属于生物性,不属于品行。男人偏理性,女人偏感性。
小贝得知海藻的行为后,种种失常的表现,包括海藻父母给他夹菜时,他把头埋在碗里,差一点哭出来,很具震撼力,看得出他的心在滴血。
如果一个女孩真的移情别恋了,那种想以自杀来令女孩后悔的行为是幼稚的。
海藻在深深的伤害了“小贝”后,仅仅半个月,就能在情人怀里痛哭着说:过得不好。在小贝第二次离开后的当天,就能跑到情人那里,并恢复笑容。充分体现了那首歌:女人天真的眼神,藏着冷酷的针。但看过电视的人并不认为海藻是个坏女人,这也是人性的复杂,这部电视很写实。
3、真男人!真女人?
象“小贝”第一次原谅“海藻”一样,很多女孩会认为能原谅女孩“性过错”的男孩是真男人,但这只是从女人角度的片面看法,对,这个男人是真男人,但那个女人是真女人吗?世界上任何事物都是相互的,单方面的是不会长久的。
在性过错中,女孩对男孩的伤害是致命的,除非这个男孩并不真的喜欢她,小贝和海藻的分手也是必然的,就象小贝说得那样:虽然我没有亲眼看到你们赤裸的性行为,但并不是说我没有想象力。
男女对这种“性过错”的看法是不同的,姐姐海萍其实就是在间接纵容或者说是默许了妹妹的出规行为,而在寻找小贝时,海藻的父亲半夜里坐在黑暗的角落里,对即将出去的海萍说:“找到小贝后,替我向他道歉,就说是我没有教育好女儿。”,很有分量。
4、如果一个男人过分注重钱和权的话,那就很难保证女人不过分的爱慕虚荣。
穷就过穷的生活,富就过富的生活,如果男人太注重金钱,或者对有钱有势的人阿谀奉承,就很难保证妻子不过分的爱慕虚荣。
5、所谓欲望就是我们欠缺的东西:
保持良好的心态最重要,任何人在生活中都会有遗憾,每个人欠缺的东西就是他的欲望,象海藻、海萍缺钱,那么钱就是她们的欲望,而宋秘书有钱有权,但妻子却不漂亮,那么美女就是他的欲望。
二、从河南乐羊子之妻—谈夫妻相互尊重:
不知《乐羊子妻》是否是真实的故事,如果是,那么他们夫妻的感情一定不会好,甚至可以说妻子可能有“红杏出墙”的行为。
1、羊子从路上捡到一块金子,交给妻子,却遭来一顿臭骂,甚至把羊子与“强盗”和“乞丐”来对比,如果妻子不是对羊子极端厌恶、瞧不起,这种语言是不可能出现的,这不是夫妻相处之道。
2、如果上面的行为还可以容忍的话,那下面的行为就令人不得不怀疑妻子有“红杏出墙”的可能了。羊子出外游学一年后,回到家,妻子却责问他为什么回来?羊子回答:出去的太久想老婆了。如果一般的妻子听到这样的话肯定会心花怒放的,但我们看看她的表现,拿起一把刀,走到织布机前,学孟母教子?但又不肯象孟母一样砍断织机(舍不得),因此拿这把刀的动作完全是恐吓羊子,羊子赶紧又跑出去了,吓得整整七年都没敢回家,这就不得不令人怀疑羊子之妻有潘金莲的行为,不希望羊子在家碍手碍脚。
3、因此说夫妻之间相互尊重,是相处之道,俗话说:君子待人以德,不可因情废礼。
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_465fc8850100edcn.html
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