网络作家六六:对婚外恋不感兴趣
来源:《伴侣》 2009年第9期 作者:丁跃忠 2009年05月19日
六六是一位著名的华裔女作家,她的电视剧《蜗居》开拍了,小说《王贵与安娜》出版发行了,同名电视剧也已被确定为2009年在中央电视台上演的一部大戏。六六这位讲述婚姻故事的能人,自己的婚姻生活又是怎样的呢?
她在网上发贴子,竟然写出好几部家庭故事的小说
六六,原名张辛,安徽合肥人,1995年毕业于安徽大学国际贸易系。1999年赴新加坡定居, 从事幼儿教育工作。从1999年起,她以六六这个笔名开始在网上撰文。当初起网名叫“少妇六六”,意思是少妇闲来无事,到网上溜溜。后来网友图省事,都直接叫她六六,这个名字就延用到今天。
2003年,六六的小说《王贵与安娜》蜚声海内外网坛,六六本人也被看作是继张爱玲、虹影之后第三代海外华裔女作家的代表。
2005年,以描写婆媳关系的小说《双面胶》使六六一举成名;2007年出版《蜗居》;2008年出版《仙蒂瑞拉的主妇生活》。六六说话风趣幽默,行文跳脱飞扬、新鲜灵动、活泼可亲,散发着生活的智慧和纯真。她的多部作品被改编成影视剧。
长期旅居新加坡,写起国内的婆媳关系竟然那么得心应手。六六自鸣得意,她说她25岁以前是按照父母的希望为他们活着,25岁嫁人之后才开始 “退休”,过自己想要的生活,她完全没有朝九晚五地上过班,闲着就做自己喜欢的事,跟婆婆的关系也很好。但是,生活归生活,在她的心中的确有太多太多的故事在翻腾,不写出来憋得慌。写出来之后,六六一下子成为畅销书女作家。六六有稳定的工作,美满的家庭,一切都是那么美好,她不愿人们称她为作家,她更愿意别人称她为写手。
当编剧写小说,六六并没有将这些看得有多么了不起,她常在饭后抱着电脑就在沙发上写开了。而且,其写作速度绝对打破了新吉尼斯世界纪录,《王贵与安娜》写了15天,《双面胶》写了30天,长篇故事小说《蜗居》,40天就写完了。
和一般人写作不同,六六从没有花大量心思构思过故事情节,横竖列下大小不同的提纲,她通常是一打开word文档,就刷刷刷地写开了。偶尔遇到思维短路,她就上论坛去发帖子,直到有人回帖,她就精神倍增,马上又奋笔疾书写开了。
六六说写作也是一种玩儿法。可能小时候没玩儿够,总是想过一种没有压力,没有约束的生活。不过,六六觉得自己在写作上还存在许多不足,写作没有框架,也不打草稿,始终处理不好小说的立体层面。她的小说总是很简单,故事中的人物超过5个人以上自己就晕了,经常会忘记小说里主人公的名字。起初小说的女主角叫肖丽鹃,写着写着就姓胡了,类似的笑话经常发生。而且想象力有限,也就是用眼睛写故事,都是些凡人琐事。
六六言辞诙谐幽默,随时都能让你发现她思维中的闪光之处。她说人生最好的状态是自由,写作是自己的事,平时想睡就睡,想写就写,前提是让自己愉悦。她在网络上写作一帆风顺,完全没有困难。写作对她来说,是一种力量。因为喜爱,所以不会轻易放弃。她只写自己想写并愿意写的东西,她写作是来娱乐自己的,能出名只是在写着玩儿的时候,一不小心娱乐了别人而已。
她说写作是生活中一件很简单的事儿
几部小说的出版,让六六在海内外的女性读者中刮起了一股不小的风潮。借着东风,2008年1月1日,真实记录个人家庭及情感生活的《仙蒂瑞拉的主妇生活》出版发行。2008年12月,这部故事小说被拍成电视连续剧,并成为2009年中央电视台上演的大戏。很多人没有想到,那些在常人看来超级繁琐且乏味的小事,在六六笔下,竟也能如此地妙趣横生,温馨感人,竟然上了大雅之堂,让人赞叹不已。
六六认为,作家是个不靠谱的职业。有人问她什么职业不靠谱,她觉得像画画啊、搞音乐啊,这些职业就是不靠谱的,不是说它们不好,而是因为没有固定收入,要靠运气。也可能兢兢业业写了一辈子,仍然默默无闻,两袖清风,但六六觉得自己要算幸运的。起码还有写作收入,可以作为生活的来源。
六六笔下的女主人公通常都很有特点,但六六说,她的性格特别懒惰,是一潭清水,你用火点不着的。六六自己除了写作,和别的家庭主妇一样,也不在外面吃饭应酬,也没有夜生活,没事儿的时候,就带孩子玩儿、旅游、听音乐和看演出。
如今,有了丰厚的稿酬,她不再需要为柴米油盐生计发愁,洒脱的她,大部分时间都在度假。用她自己的话说,实在待烦了,就去工作。在她看来,度假是人生的第一需要,工作只是补充。
在婚姻中,为了生存,你要扮演多重角色
六六与丈夫是在国内结婚的,1999年一起去了新加坡。两人是青梅竹马,两家人住在一个家属区。六六笑着说这个男人不仅宠爱她,还十分宽容她。
而立之年的六六,在医生认为没有生育希望的时候意外怀孕,这个消息让一大家子人格外欣喜。但接下来的故事却格外惊险。先是早孕反应严重,险些流产;后来被伊蚊狠咬一口,患上了登革热病住院;再后来,因早产住了4周的医院。有一次六六以为孩子保不住了,她的心都要碎了,直掉眼泪。一连串的遭遇让她喘不过气来,但结果还算满意,有惊无险。
六六说过这样一段话:“谁都喜欢有能力的男人,我也只喜欢掉到我眼前对我好的男人,但关键是找不到啊,每个人都想找到好老公,但不是每个人都可以找得到的。现代女性需要孤芳自赏,还要学会自己照顾自己。人应该学会以自己为傲,这可以让你面对生活时有信心。”
学理科的老公,和所有的男人一样,他也有自己的缺点,比如懒惰和懈怠,也会有许多不足之处,但是六六对此很宽容,很大度。
被称为婚恋作家的六六,对男女之事见解颇深。她认为:“幸福就是一种东西,或者是一种状态,只有在理论状态下才会不变;正常状态下,它是反复变化的,这才是生活的魅力所在,任何痛苦与幸福,都不是永恒的。”
六六对人生变化无常感叹不已,她说:“人对爱情的看法是会变的,每隔一段时间,就会变。去年的时候,还觉得婚姻是生活中必须的,一个女人要有稳定的家庭、丈夫、孩子,别人有的我都要有,这会让人感觉踏实。但是只过了一年,我的想法就变了。婚姻并不是一辈子的事情,它是变化着的,人们遭遇到一些挫折,就会改变自己的人生观。”
从前,六六一直相信白头偕老。但经过了坎坷、疲惫,以及各种挤压后,她发现,人生其实并不是这样的。尤其是人到中年,父母需要照料,孩子需要呵护,事业上还要经营,你要扮演多重角色。在婚姻中,你是一个妻子,对丈夫有责任;你是一个母亲,对孩子有责任;你是一个作家,对读者有责任。
多要求自己,同舟共济,
才能把一段婚姻走得完美
儿子陈偶得是六六最大的欣慰,也是她的开心果。身为人母,她乐得与儿子分享她生命里最重要的一切。六六觉得现在的状况虽然没有达到天天有钱数的程度,但想吃就吃,想睡就睡还是可以的。六六是一名幼儿教师,工作就是玩儿,玩儿就是工作,感觉非常满意。最大的愿望就是在家做全职家庭主妇,不想错过儿子的成长。等他到了上学的年龄,就带他一起去学校,母亲上班他上学,母亲下班他放学,母子同出同进,这种生活像神仙一样,美好而快乐。
中年婚姻会面临很多危机,六六说:“小时候,我看30多岁的女人,觉得她们那么老。可是,自己到了30多岁,却感觉自己还像18岁那样年轻,甚至比18岁时还活得精彩。但问题是,别人不是这么看你的。这种反差反射到生活的各各层面,造成了中年危机。”在此情况下,六六说,绝对不能提幸福两个字,你没看谁一张嘴说自己幸福,没多久就离婚嘛。她还曾经跟丈夫开玩笑说,只要你不抛弃我,我就不会抛弃你。谁知说完这话没过多久,六六就说,我们离婚吧!这样就可以有人追我了。她这么一说,还真把人吓了一跳。
六六说,自己不爱动弹的特点,也表现在工作中,对她而言,生活中需要的是稳定,但不需要戏剧化的跳动。她不喜欢今天结婚、明天离婚这种生活,对婚外恋也不感兴趣。
2008年一整年,六六大部分时间都在各地旅游。每次旅游,必然带着孩子、保姆、公婆,一走就是一大帮。儿子陈偶得从小就跟着妈妈浪迹天涯,小小年纪啥都懂,常有妙语出来,令妈妈啼笑皆非。她说她的家庭也是上有公婆父母,下有孩子,中间夹着个老公。婆婆是一名普通的工程师。六六自小与婆婆同住一个家属院,六六与婆婆亲如母女,她的婆婆是她父母的朋友,她大部分时候都是和婆婆站在同一战线上,双方都会去发掘对方的优点,发生了矛盾也可以坐下来谈,赞赏对方的长处,宽容对方的过失。
六六常说婆婆养育了儿子的爸爸,又给了她幸福的家庭,现在得万分感谢婆婆呢!对于自己良好的婆媳关系,六六披露了自己的心得:首先小辈要像小辈,才能够让老人比较有尊严感,老人有了尊严,她就会宽容晚辈,关爱晚辈,你的家庭生活就会丰富多彩,美满幸福。
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