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偶得日记

老少趣

老少趣

2008年09月27日

1.偶得爹在偶得娘面前炫耀。

“宝宝，爸爸在火车上跟你说的，田里长的，我们中国人每天吃的是什么呀？”
偶得毫不犹豫地答：“麦当劳。”

咣当。。。。。。。白教。那是麦子。还好都沾个麦。

2.急着出门，把午睡的偶得唤醒。左摇右摇，把他摇哭了，死活不睁眼。只好焦急绕圈等待：“醒了没有？醒了没有？”
偶得打个哈欠，揉揉眼睛说：“我还没睡好，等一下，等一下。还有一点点。”说完，把眼睛眯成一条缝，证明只有一点点了。趴着继续睡。

3.瘦人对胖人的嘲弄是天生的，不必教的。
偶得从不觉得自己瘦是耻辱，虽然他娘不这么认为。我认为把儿子养成现在这种歉收样儿，实在是家门不幸。每次带他出门，人家都会惊呼：“这么瘦的小孩！”看到我再惊呼：“这么胖的妈妈！”我多么希望有一天时光大逆转，颠倒个个儿。

某天电视里放儿童幼儿时期肥胖会造成终生肥胖，里面放了个小胖墩儿。偶得捂着嘴偷笑，终于忍不住冲到电视前，指着里面的婴儿说：“这是唐一宁！”唐一宁是我弟弟家的两个月的小宝贝，肥头大耳长势喜人。

我已经看出未来我们家的趋势，唐一宁会因为他的一身肉，而总被他表哥戏虐。

4.偶得天生嘴甜，会讨好人。但涉及到底线是寸土不让。

外婆最喜欢挑拨群众斗群众。总要偶得二选一。诸如：“奶奶家好还是阿布家好？”偶得会审时度势答：“阿布家好。”其实偶得在奶奶家，也是说奶奶家好，属于典型的墙头草两面倒。
外婆得意地呵呵笑。外婆还不甘心，我早评价过，说外婆是渔夫与金鱼里的渔夫老太婆，贪得无厌。她又问：“妈妈家好还是阿布家好？”偶得毫不犹豫地答：“妈妈家好。”
外婆生气地拿手指着小瘪三说：“每天好吃好喝喂你，心疼宝贝你，你妈都不给你吃不给你喝的，你还讲你妈好。你真是养不熟的小狗！”

5.外婆以填鸭法喂小孩。醒了就吃，吃了就哄睡。于是每次跟我炫耀，说偶得只要去她那里，都是长肉，回我这里都是瘦。我是另一种思维，期望他多玩些，消耗得多了，自然胃口大开。

那天偶得在外婆家床上跳，被外婆一把摁住：“别跳别跳！浪费营养。”

我大概从小就是这样给我妈养大的。

5.今天和翠花小A出去吃饭。小A看我们大人的椅子背上都罩一个防尘罩，把包罩在里面，估计一是防味道，二是防偷。小A见样，招呼服务员，给她把幼儿园小书包也罩上。服务员遵嘱。小A开始安心啃蛋糕。

小A刚两岁半。

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