彩礼之我见
刚被人批判说自己是女权主义者。我发现是有点。这个女权主义者的好处是,复杂问题简单化。
我以为,收受彩礼是男女尚未完全实现平等的一种表现。婚姻是两个人的事情,为什么结婚前要收对方家里的聘礼呢?
正方:1。彩礼是一种祝福
2.彩礼是对方家庭对自己的一种认可
3.彩礼是因为自己家养育女儿这么多年,对方给予的感谢。
4.彩礼是一种面子。万一被亲戚朋友问起来,不会觉得自己没身价。
5.彩礼是一种风俗。风俗要遵从。
我的想法:1。如果是祝福,不应该对彩礼的多少提具体的数字。人家给多也是祝福,给少也是祝福。这里就有点礼物和馈赠的意思。
2.对方家庭认可不认可很重要吗?认可是件皆大欢喜的事情,不认可难道就不能与爱人结婚了?即便不认可,还能依旧结婚,那才叫真爱无敌呢!
3.自己父母养育女儿这么多年,人家父母养育儿子估计年数也不少,为什么是对方感谢女方父母,而不是女方父母感谢对方的儿子呢?
4.自己的身价是靠彩礼估算的吗?难道自己就值那区区几万?几个好姐妹或亲戚之间难道没事做了,天天就靠攀比谁家女儿卖的价钱高而津津乐道?
5.送彩礼是一种风俗,那公婆家要给儿子买房子算不算风俗?给儿子带孩子算不算风俗?那媳妇进了门就要与公婆一起生活呢?以后给老人养老送终呢?对公婆要低眉顺眼呢?嫁出去的女儿泼出去的水,打死都是人家的鬼呢?若公婆说,媳妇的父母由媳妇的弟弟赡养,若家里没儿子就活该呢?
我想来想去,觉得要人一点点钱,后果满严重的。首先,才几万块就买断了命名权和所属权,这个不干。第二,才几万块钱,就买断了未来几十年的独立生活权,这个不干。第三,才几万就买断了我孝敬自己亲爹娘的权利,这个不干。第四,才几万就买断了我的金钱支配权,这个更不干了。
所以,我看还是不要因小失大了。不拿人家的手不短,底气也壮,想走便走,也不亏欠人家的。
当然有JMS认为,自己都搭上美好的青春了,要点彩礼又如何。
我这女权主义思想又抬头了:我劳工把他最美好的青春外加初夜权都给我了,我要好好待他,跟我结婚,就是我的人了,万一哪天我决定离开了,我要补偿他,把当年欠他的彩礼补齐。
就这样吧!
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