《双面胶》引发十三万留言
作者:何小晨 来源:精品购物指南 – 娱乐周末
出版日期2005年11月3日 第84期/总1107期
婆媳为何血战到底
海外华裔女作家六六出了本书叫《双面胶》,讲的是婆媳之间的事情。经过一系列小事件的积累之后,故事的结局很惨烈,婆婆指使丈夫打死了媳妇。它很平静地讲述着小市民的故事,一幕幕仿佛就发生在你我身边。
刚出版一个月的书,读者们在新浪网上的留言就已经达到了13万条!这是一本怎样的书,讲了怎样的故事,为何能引起如此剧烈的讨论风暴?
上海媳妇与东北婆婆
这本书的文笔朴实又家常,说了一个这样的故事——上海女孩丽娟出生于普通的弄堂家庭,她看上了生活在上海的东北男孩,程序员亚平,不顾家人的反对跟亚平结了婚。结婚之后他们买了新房,亚平的爸妈资助了两万块钱,等房子装修完了便从东北搬到了上海。公婆搬来之后,与丽娟发生了大大小小无数冲突。小到婆婆看不顺眼媳妇买五百块钱一件的衣服,大到婆婆借了丽娟家十几万块钱去搞投资,结果是个骗局,血本无归,丽娟妈跑来跟亚平讨账被亚平打了,丽娟要打亚平,亚平妈护着自己的儿子骂丽娟,丽娟气急了骂婆婆,结果被亚平一拳打得差点晕过去。
非常家常的故事,讲着最纯粹的“老百姓自己的故事”,处处透露着生活的智慧,以及生命中可怕的压抑。描述婆媳的电视剧很多,但这本书真正揭开了婆媳之间不可化解的那一面,阐述着几千年来沉重而宿命的话题,直接刺到你的心尖上。
网上讨论之媳妇说话
媳妇之一:看完结局,我的眼泪不由自主地流下。亚平的愚孝、丽娟的无奈、婆婆的自虐好像就是我家的一个影子。我的婆婆在他的儿子面前永远是一副慈母样,儿子什么都好,儿媳什么都不好,我老公买的东西是置业,我买的东西是浪费。我生女儿时,她连个鸡蛋都没给我买,我妈送了我二十多只鸡给我坐月子,她居然送给了我老公的哥哥,还到处说我坐月子时不洗女儿尿布。我和我老公有时会为一些事争吵,她什么都说她儿子对,说我的不是。
媳妇之二:这是一本令人深思的好小说,其实都不是坏人,作者写得很客观,矛盾的形成主要是文化背景和价值观的差异,还有我们自私的人性。我认为主要的责任在亚平,他是生活在这两种文化和价值观之间的唯一的一个人,可他没有起到本应起到的协调作用,他的没有任何原则的愚孝,毁了这个家。
媳妇之三:我把整篇文章都复制下来了,因为我们家有太多的地方和这相象!我经历的是开头,不知往后的结局会是怎样……看完我真的好害怕,作者太善于抓读者的心理了,我不希望以后看到这样的书。
媳妇之四:看完全书让人感觉很沉重,作者集中、激化了人物之间的矛盾,现实生活中应该不会这么惨烈,哪那么凑巧一波不平又起一波,所有不满、愤怒都那么恰到好处地累积又适时地爆发。不过书中描写的就是现实生活的升华。看来很多老话说得没错,那毕竟是几十代人总结出来的,门当户对很重要,嫁人也不能嫁家庭负担重的,物质生活毕竟是精神生活的基础,伟大而无私奉献的人在如今社会是亿里挑一。
媳妇之五:的确,这本书让人很压抑。我文化层次不高,但它就像是我写的。我的婆婆就这样,可以半夜两三点到我们房来看她儿子的睡姿,每时每刻恨不能紧紧依偎在儿子身边。我现在也已经快40了,欠了我娘家妹妹的钱,自己也不想离婚,很无奈,很无望,很压抑。自己老了,一定不会跟儿子住在一起。没办法,要流泪了!
媳妇之六:作者如果没有经历过也能描写得如此真实生动,那真是天才。这样的故事正在很多中国家庭中上演,只不过结局没那么惨烈罢了,但暗伤是绝对的。与公婆一起生活,最大的感觉是像局外人,这正是我在经历的。
媳妇之七:写得太夸张了点。我也是媳妇,没有发现那么恐怖。大概是这个媳妇和婆婆都不够善良。作为一个现代女性,我给这部小说投反对票。而且,我觉得即使遇上这样的婆婆,也可以采取一定方法解决。希望未婚女青年们不要因为这部小说对婚姻产生恐惧。
媳妇之八:前半段写得非常有趣,非常贴近生活。我婆婆也曾经在我的新家住过一段时间,有一些行为就像书上写的一模一样,比如用破毛巾去罩沙发,硬把我很现代的家搞得像破烂摊。
媳妇之九:前些日子我在报纸上看到《双面胶》的连载,每天都迫不及待地看,内容十分真实,以至于太想知道结局了。真希望所有的婆婆都能看到这本书!不要只是偏袒自己的儿子,不把媳妇当自己家的人,认为媳妇只是伺候儿子生活的丫环,生孩子的工具!
媳妇之十:我一口气看了几十页评论,读后感是:干吗要解放妇女呢?现在的女人一样要生儿子(强调不是女儿)!要做家务!要服侍丈夫!要孝顺公婆(还一样是不讲理由的服从,不然就是不孝)!这些要求跟旧社会有什么不同?不同的是现在的女人还要上八小时的班,还要赶两三个小时的上下班路程。反正你还没累死,新旧女人都一起做了吧,哪怕你收入比丈夫还高!
令人心惊的现状
值得说明的一点是,记者摘出了很多持中肯意见的评论,这些中肯评论在本报道中占十分之三,但在网络留言中差不多只有百分之一。婆婆们可能都不大上网,所以留言中几乎都是媳妇,男性的发言非常罕见。
我们没有任何偏向,只是想从这些庞大的留言中看出一些什么,那就是婆媳问题现在依旧存在,并且依旧尖锐,给无数的家庭带来伤痛。二十一世纪了,生活在都市中的女性大多不和长辈们住在一起,渐渐地我们遗忘了这个古老而沉重的话题。但就在前不久,记者看到一则这样的报道,某媳妇不堪忍受,指使自己的弟弟打死了婆婆。由古至今,婆媳问题给中国家庭带来了多少悲剧!这些问题并没有因新世纪的到来而消失,社会学家们是否应该多关注一些我们身边的事,整个社会一起去探讨,去解决这个贴近每一个家庭的问题呢?
留言中很多女性提出了这样的疑问——伴随着妇女解放,大多数的中国家庭都是双职工,夫妻双方都有挣钱养家的义务。并且很大一部分家庭中,女性的收入比男性要高。但女性依旧需要生儿育女做家务,如果家务做得不好的话,很容易背上懒惰、不贤慧的指责。如今女性背负着甚至比男方还要大的工作、生活压力,谁来做女性的“贤内助”?
如今,有部分现代女性跳脱出了上述的问题,但那毕竟是小部分,绝大多数人都在传统而平凡地生活着。希望大家不要一叶障目,请关注这13万条留言,这令人心惊的现状!
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