导演小熊
2005-12-02
他是我见过的最不艺术的一个搞艺术的人。
平实到让我唯一个的感觉是,这是个结婚过小日子的男人。那种提着满塑料的菜回家,那种抱着孩子逗着玩儿,那种老婆蒙着脸做面膜他在拖地的男人。
我认识一个搞音乐的,一个搞绘画的。我什么都不懂,却与别人相聊甚欢。他们说不懂是一种最好的状态,原始混沌却象大盗的门一样,喊声芝麻既开。他们喜欢随便选首音乐让我听,或者随手抽张画给我看,自己去忙自己的事情,过一会儿再来,我会说,这画怎么有冷的感觉,而这音乐让我摇摆。
我终于,在十几年后,按他们预言的那样,跟艺术搭上边界,开始弄文学。可惜,摆弄的是写实文学,被称为二流作家,虽然我不情愿。
然后,我又开始接触电影了。
晚上盘腿坐在床上,每天都是头发湿漉漉的,啃着苹果听着乱七八糟的音乐看各式剧本,总在电脑上告诉那头的小熊:评论就一个字——烂。
他问我烂在什么地放,我又说不出来,直觉就是不喜欢。
被他逼急了就说,算了,我写个大片给你吧,省得你这么痛苦。你老要我咬别人吃剩的饼干,而我向来只吃新鲜的,热乎的,好吃的。
然后在三分钟之内交给他一个IDEA,再要求他为我那个连个影子都没的电影付钱。
我是空想家
小熊是实干家
我在电脑的那头天马行空,他在另一头默默将之实现。我在他的催促哄骗恫吓哀求下一点一点挤牙膏交作业。他把我的胡说八道整理的很好看,把我一闪而过的念头都记录下来,有时候他也会福至心灵,冒两句经典。糟糕的是,他在我的影响熏陶下,开始越来越文学,有时候沿我的脚印走,越来越接近,很有我的风范。
我的思想开始变得很懒,手很多时候不在赚钱却在打闲字。而要知道,我现在字很值钱,好好写的话,能赶上阿城,一个字一块钱。不同的是,我是人民币,他是美圆。不过很好了,说明我是阿城的八分之一。因为人民币的升值,最近已经是7。992分之一了。万一过两年人民币继续升值,我就是他的五分之一了。阿城总是原地踏步,而我却在不段向前。
哈哈。小熊又要笑我很会捣乱。
跟他聊着剧本,没两句我就开始乱讲,越扯越远。他总被我拉着跑,跟我发感慨,发一阵子回过神来就大吼一声:“说啥呢!回来!”
他就是古诗里的那个老农,每天很辛苦,只为盘中那粒粒餐。
我很享受,每天玩玩笑笑,躺在床上张着嘴,天上纷降饲料。
他说他每天累的呀,又是谢顶了,又是不举了。
我很同情。
只好被迫给拉进火坑里,去帮他想永远没有结局的电影。
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