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导演小熊

 

导演小熊

2005-12-02

他是我见过的最不艺术的一个搞艺术的人。

平实到让我唯一个的感觉是，这是个结婚过小日子的男人。那种提着满塑料的菜回家，那种抱着孩子逗着玩儿，那种老婆蒙着脸做面膜他在拖地的男人。

我认识一个搞音乐的，一个搞绘画的。我什么都不懂，却与别人相聊甚欢。他们说不懂是一种最好的状态，原始混沌却象大盗的门一样，喊声芝麻既开。他们喜欢随便选首音乐让我听，或者随手抽张画给我看，自己去忙自己的事情，过一会儿再来，我会说，这画怎么有冷的感觉，而这音乐让我摇摆。

我终于，在十几年后，按他们预言的那样，跟艺术搭上边界，开始弄文学。可惜，摆弄的是写实文学，被称为二流作家，虽然我不情愿。

然后，我又开始接触电影了。

晚上盘腿坐在床上，每天都是头发湿漉漉的，啃着苹果听着乱七八糟的音乐看各式剧本，总在电脑上告诉那头的小熊：评论就一个字——烂。

他问我烂在什么地放，我又说不出来，直觉就是不喜欢。

被他逼急了就说，算了，我写个大片给你吧，省得你这么痛苦。你老要我咬别人吃剩的饼干，而我向来只吃新鲜的，热乎的，好吃的。

然后在三分钟之内交给他一个IDEA，再要求他为我那个连个影子都没的电影付钱。

我是空想家

小熊是实干家

我在电脑的那头天马行空，他在另一头默默将之实现。我在他的催促哄骗恫吓哀求下一点一点挤牙膏交作业。他把我的胡说八道整理的很好看，把我一闪而过的念头都记录下来，有时候他也会福至心灵，冒两句经典。糟糕的是，他在我的影响熏陶下，开始越来越文学，有时候沿我的脚印走，越来越接近，很有我的风范。

我的思想开始变得很懒，手很多时候不在赚钱却在打闲字。而要知道，我现在字很值钱，好好写的话，能赶上阿城，一个字一块钱。不同的是，我是人民币，他是美圆。不过很好了，说明我是阿城的八分之一。因为人民币的升值，最近已经是7。992分之一了。万一过两年人民币继续升值，我就是他的五分之一了。阿城总是原地踏步，而我却在不段向前。

哈哈。小熊又要笑我很会捣乱。

跟他聊着剧本，没两句我就开始乱讲，越扯越远。他总被我拉着跑，跟我发感慨，发一阵子回过神来就大吼一声：“说啥呢！回来！”

他就是古诗里的那个老农，每天很辛苦，只为盘中那粒粒餐。

我很享受，每天玩玩笑笑，躺在床上张着嘴，天上纷降饲料。

他说他每天累的呀，又是谢顶了，又是不举了。

我很同情。

只好被迫给拉进火坑里，去帮他想永远没有结局的电影。

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